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Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Stockport, UK
Posts: 9
New here
Hi everyone
First a bit about me. My name is Kirsty. I am 20 and I have a little girl and I am 26weeks pregnant with a little boy. Due in December.
I am here for some advice and support. My boyfriend Mark is a heavy drinker. I am not sure weather he is a alcoholic yet but the way he is going he will be soon. He drinks most days anywhere between 3 cans to spending 100pound a day at week end.
He can go with out a beer but he is so moody and sulky when he cant drink the longest he has gone is 2 or 3 days.
Mark is 22 years old and I know he is young and young men do like to drink. He has addmitted on a few accasions that he does have a problem and he cant just give up. We have talked about him going to get help but he doesn't think he needs to go.
When he is drunk he can get very aggressive. He has hit me once but it was partly my fault. He was pointing in my face and I thought it was rude so I bite him (yes I know a little strange) and he slapped me.
Sorry its long hope I didnt bore you too much. It will be nice to talk to some people who understand. I really dont know what to do anymore.
First a bit about me. My name is Kirsty. I am 20 and I have a little girl and I am 26weeks pregnant with a little boy. Due in December.
I am here for some advice and support. My boyfriend Mark is a heavy drinker. I am not sure weather he is a alcoholic yet but the way he is going he will be soon. He drinks most days anywhere between 3 cans to spending 100pound a day at week end.
He can go with out a beer but he is so moody and sulky when he cant drink the longest he has gone is 2 or 3 days.
Mark is 22 years old and I know he is young and young men do like to drink. He has addmitted on a few accasions that he does have a problem and he cant just give up. We have talked about him going to get help but he doesn't think he needs to go.
When he is drunk he can get very aggressive. He has hit me once but it was partly my fault. He was pointing in my face and I thought it was rude so I bite him (yes I know a little strange) and he slapped me.
Sorry its long hope I didnt bore you too much. It will be nice to talk to some people who understand. I really dont know what to do anymore.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
(((Kitty)))
First, welcome to SR!
You're in a toxic relationship. But, you know that, and that's why you're here. It is indeed abusive, on both your parts. Pointing, biting, slapping are all abusive actions. And abuse, if not checked, escalates.
You have two children to think of first and foremost.
I urge you to go to alanon meetings. You cannot make him see the need for treatment, but, you can get help for yourself and your children. You can prevent the escalation of this abusive relationship which has the ability to mar those children for life. You didn't cause his drinking; you cannot control it and you can't cure it. But, you can learn to cope with it in a healthy manner for you and your children. Alanon will help you with the practice of the 12 steps.
I wish you well on your journey of recovery...
Shalom!
First, welcome to SR!
You're in a toxic relationship. But, you know that, and that's why you're here. It is indeed abusive, on both your parts. Pointing, biting, slapping are all abusive actions. And abuse, if not checked, escalates.
You have two children to think of first and foremost.
I urge you to go to alanon meetings. You cannot make him see the need for treatment, but, you can get help for yourself and your children. You can prevent the escalation of this abusive relationship which has the ability to mar those children for life. You didn't cause his drinking; you cannot control it and you can't cure it. But, you can learn to cope with it in a healthy manner for you and your children. Alanon will help you with the practice of the 12 steps.
I wish you well on your journey of recovery...
Shalom!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Stockport, UK
Posts: 9
Thanks for your reply hun.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years before I met Mark. My ex was both physically and sexually adusive. I know things can get out of hand. I hope things between me and Mark dont get to that stage. I am in couselling for my abusive past.
You might think I am dum but what is alanon meetings. Is it like AA.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years before I met Mark. My ex was both physically and sexually adusive. I know things can get out of hand. I hope things between me and Mark dont get to that stage. I am in couselling for my abusive past.
You might think I am dum but what is alanon meetings. Is it like AA.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 257
Originally Posted by Kitty86 
Thanks for your reply hun.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years before I met Mark. My ex was both physically and sexually adusive. I know things can get out of hand. I hope things between me and Mark dont get to that stage. I am in couselling for my abusive past.
You might think I am dum but what is alanon meetings. Is it like AA.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years before I met Mark. My ex was both physically and sexually adusive. I know things can get out of hand. I hope things between me and Mark dont get to that stage. I am in couselling for my abusive past.
You might think I am dum but what is alanon meetings. Is it like AA.
2nd Alanon is a support group for adults who have loved ones that are alcoholics and as said before your boyfriend CERTINLY qualifies as an alcoholic I suggest you go seek an alanon meeting
and finally PLEASE GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP he has hit you once you DO NOT want your son growing up thinking it's OK to beat women but thats whats gonna happen if you stay (not to mention your daughter could grow up thinking she deserves to be hit)
I will end this on a positive note and say congrats on the new baby boy, hope you get out so you and him and your little girl can have a great life.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by Kitty86
Things are really that bad arn't they. Jeseus what the hell have I got into.
Glad you're here!
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
I think it's wonderful that you've found yourself a meeting, and made a commitment to going to it. There, you will find a new way to live.
You asked what you have gotten yourself into. Well, we all have a tendency to repeat our mistakes until we learn from them. And with the 12 steps, you will learn how to live a new kind of life for you and your children -- one filled with dignity and joy. Oh, there will always be difficulties, but, you will have new skills with which to meet them. And most importantly, you will teach your children self-love and self-respect through your actions.
Congratulations on a great choice you've made for yourself. Please let us know how your meeting goes.
Shalom!
You asked what you have gotten yourself into. Well, we all have a tendency to repeat our mistakes until we learn from them. And with the 12 steps, you will learn how to live a new kind of life for you and your children -- one filled with dignity and joy. Oh, there will always be difficulties, but, you will have new skills with which to meet them. And most importantly, you will teach your children self-love and self-respect through your actions.
Congratulations on a great choice you've made for yourself. Please let us know how your meeting goes.
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Hi Kitty86,, WELCOME to SR!!!!!!
Posting and ASKING for help is the FIRST step in taking CARE of yourself and your children,,,ALREADY your figuring out what to "do"
This site is a WONDERFUL education tool in our journey to break the cycle. Lots of people with different "levels" of recovery to help you through. Read the sticky's, read the forums but most of all keep coming back!!
Peace
Posting and ASKING for help is the FIRST step in taking CARE of yourself and your children,,,ALREADY your figuring out what to "do"
This site is a WONDERFUL education tool in our journey to break the cycle. Lots of people with different "levels" of recovery to help you through. Read the sticky's, read the forums but most of all keep coming back!!
Peace
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