My Wonderful Boyfriend
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3
My Wonderful Boyfriend
Hi!
I've been dating a fantastic man for 10 months. I'm optimistic that we have a real chance at a future together, maybe even with kiddies in the picture! But, it's early, so I am just enjoying. We don't live together, but we do spend a lot of time together. My boyfriend is in recovery. He got his 3-year coin last week. I am so proud of him!
No troubles, but I wanted to tap into a group anyway to see how it felt. Here's some misc. drinking/self-improvement stuff about me, him, and us:
My stepfather was a recovering alchoholic when he was in my life (8 years). I watched him quit everything else, including tobacco. He was working on caffiene when he died of cancer. I found out at his funeral that he was an alcoholic in recovery. He was very important to me growing up. I loved him and admired him so! At the funeral, I learned about his work in recovery and all the people he helped in AA, and I was even prouder of him.
I met my boyfriend almost 2 years into his recovery. We took things very slowly, which was good for both of us. We didn't start to date until he was over the 2-year mark, and he told me he was in recovery on our 3rd date. He was really nervous about telling me. Because of my stepdad and what I had seen of my boyfriend's character, I wasn't phased. Shortly after, we had our first kiss, and fell wildly in love.
My boyfriend goes to meetings regularly (2-3x/week) and is committed to staying sober and doing step work. Sometimes we talk about his step work and meetings. He is pretty open about his work, and believes that the 12 steps can help anyone. Indeed, he pulls a lot of ideas and info from his step work and the AA book when I am looking for support or advice on my own issues. (Other places too, but those are biggies). It all rings true to me.
We both are committed to seeing a counseling independantly (we both had long-term counseling before we met, which we continue, and both are very positive and open in general about our counseling).
I accept that his recovery work is #1 in his life, and that sometimes he will be attending more meetings, sometimes less, and that they are vital to his personal health and the health of our relationship.
I have great faith that he will stay strong in his recovery. He is very strong, and very committed. I am so proud of him!
As for my drinking, I used to drink occassionally but in great quantities, but almost not at all now that I am involved with my boyfriend. Why? I think "fitting in" has a lot to do with my drinking! *laugh* So, I'm happy to be in a situation where I am comfortable letting that behavior go. Hangovers, blech.
Hm. That's it. Life is good.
I've been dating a fantastic man for 10 months. I'm optimistic that we have a real chance at a future together, maybe even with kiddies in the picture! But, it's early, so I am just enjoying. We don't live together, but we do spend a lot of time together. My boyfriend is in recovery. He got his 3-year coin last week. I am so proud of him!
No troubles, but I wanted to tap into a group anyway to see how it felt. Here's some misc. drinking/self-improvement stuff about me, him, and us:
My stepfather was a recovering alchoholic when he was in my life (8 years). I watched him quit everything else, including tobacco. He was working on caffiene when he died of cancer. I found out at his funeral that he was an alcoholic in recovery. He was very important to me growing up. I loved him and admired him so! At the funeral, I learned about his work in recovery and all the people he helped in AA, and I was even prouder of him.
I met my boyfriend almost 2 years into his recovery. We took things very slowly, which was good for both of us. We didn't start to date until he was over the 2-year mark, and he told me he was in recovery on our 3rd date. He was really nervous about telling me. Because of my stepdad and what I had seen of my boyfriend's character, I wasn't phased. Shortly after, we had our first kiss, and fell wildly in love.
My boyfriend goes to meetings regularly (2-3x/week) and is committed to staying sober and doing step work. Sometimes we talk about his step work and meetings. He is pretty open about his work, and believes that the 12 steps can help anyone. Indeed, he pulls a lot of ideas and info from his step work and the AA book when I am looking for support or advice on my own issues. (Other places too, but those are biggies). It all rings true to me.
We both are committed to seeing a counseling independantly (we both had long-term counseling before we met, which we continue, and both are very positive and open in general about our counseling).
I accept that his recovery work is #1 in his life, and that sometimes he will be attending more meetings, sometimes less, and that they are vital to his personal health and the health of our relationship.
I have great faith that he will stay strong in his recovery. He is very strong, and very committed. I am so proud of him!
As for my drinking, I used to drink occassionally but in great quantities, but almost not at all now that I am involved with my boyfriend. Why? I think "fitting in" has a lot to do with my drinking! *laugh* So, I'm happy to be in a situation where I am comfortable letting that behavior go. Hangovers, blech.
Hm. That's it. Life is good.
Last edited by Llonds; 09-01-2007 at 04:50 PM. Reason: Typos
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 3
OK, well, right now I'm sick and so spending a lot of time on the internet. 
Right now I am most into knitting, but there are many other things I enjoy doing...too many to list, but here is a taste: My boyfriend recently introduced me to kayaking. I love it! (Still in lakes, though....am working my way up to rivers). I am looking forward to contra dance season starting up soon, too. My favorite activity is reading and napping in a friend's hammock, alternating those two activities as I please and as I sway. Mmm.
The person I am craziest about in this world is my teenage sister. We are many, many years apart, but very close. She is just fantastic.
I've really gone through some big changes in the last couple years in terms of maturity, emotions, spirituality, and personal philosophy after many years of struggle, discord and general misery. I am settling into my skin these days, but believe that I will never truly be "finished" until I die (and then who knows???). So...I try to stay elastic and open and as much as possible willing in my learning and growing. My biggest work right now is on acceptance and letting go of judgement. I have also dealt with high anxiety, so I do a lot of work on calming that. It is nice to be able to put that in the past tense! I am not entirely free of it, but can confidently say I have a handle on it rather than the other way around, and am now simply a "garden variety neurotic". *laugh*
Recent favorite books:
- The Miracle of Mindfulness
- The Better World Handbook
- Wicked
- Red House
Recent favorite films
- The Fountain
- Baraka
Music:
- Bjork
- Can Kickers
- Mixes from my boyfriend :p
Cheers!
Right now I am most into knitting, but there are many other things I enjoy doing...too many to list, but here is a taste: My boyfriend recently introduced me to kayaking. I love it! (Still in lakes, though....am working my way up to rivers). I am looking forward to contra dance season starting up soon, too. My favorite activity is reading and napping in a friend's hammock, alternating those two activities as I please and as I sway. Mmm.
The person I am craziest about in this world is my teenage sister. We are many, many years apart, but very close. She is just fantastic.
I've really gone through some big changes in the last couple years in terms of maturity, emotions, spirituality, and personal philosophy after many years of struggle, discord and general misery. I am settling into my skin these days, but believe that I will never truly be "finished" until I die (and then who knows???). So...I try to stay elastic and open and as much as possible willing in my learning and growing. My biggest work right now is on acceptance and letting go of judgement. I have also dealt with high anxiety, so I do a lot of work on calming that. It is nice to be able to put that in the past tense! I am not entirely free of it, but can confidently say I have a handle on it rather than the other way around, and am now simply a "garden variety neurotic". *laugh*
Recent favorite books:
- The Miracle of Mindfulness
- The Better World Handbook
- Wicked
- Red House
Recent favorite films
- The Fountain
- Baraka
Music:
- Bjork
- Can Kickers
- Mixes from my boyfriend :p
Cheers!
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