Wondering what's next

Old 08-29-2007, 11:57 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: San Fernando Valley, CA
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Wondering what's next

Nope! I am not codie, am not , am not, am not! “HA!” They all said.. “then how come you know exactly how much he drinks every night? And how come you look to see if there is indeed yet another new bottle in the cabinet as soon as you get home from work everyday”???

Once my AH got up to finishing a full fifth of scotch every night, I was astounded. How can he function day in and day out? And, where will he go from here?

I think I am about to find out. It looks as if he has been trying to control his drinking the past few nights. He didn’t drink one night and the two following that, he only drank half a bottle or so … this morning I had a scary thought and imagined I heard the bell toll… that the next step down the ladder is coming. It has been my experience that efforts to control are “followed by still less control” (to paraphrase the Big Book). They don’t sell the expensive scotch he likes in gallon jugs… so he must be wondering in his head what comes next. We don’t talk about his drinking anymore.. heck, we don’t talk much about anything anymore. That’s my choice. He’s a really intellectual guy who is up on all the latest headlines and he has won millions on Jeopardy, from our living room! But all I hear anymore is the slurring and I shut him out. . This problem though.. it must have him stumped.

One time a few years back, he went and parked outside a meeting, but didnt go in.. I want to offer to go in with him. Ah, what the heck, I think I will. It cant make things worse and I promise not to get my hopes up and be angry towards him if he says not. Maybe this is a good time to offer him that alternative.
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Old 08-29-2007, 12:04 PM
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CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
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Welcome to SR Lisa! Glad that you found some stickies and others will be along to share as well!

Wonder what's next
This should be up to you what is next! Maybe stop worrying so much about what he is doing and why not try a meeting for yourself? Just a suggestion....
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Old 08-29-2007, 12:14 PM
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let it grow!
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Location: USA
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alanon is a good choice, it really helps me. i know it's hard not to want to "check up" on all of it. but we gotta know it isn't going to change a thing..

keep posting! k
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Old 08-29-2007, 01:05 PM
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I have no idea what will happen next. Sometimes I barely know and understand what is happening right now. I have come to understand that worrying what might happen kept me from taking action in the present. Busy work for the brain.

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Old 08-29-2007, 02:02 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Milwaukee WI
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this is something I find myself trying to work on now...doing for me and figuring out what am I going to do next. He has already showed me time and time and time again what he is going to do next....drink more. I too find myself wanting to know how much he is drinking...but ask myself what good does that do for me?? Only makes me more angry and frustrated. I am trying to change how I can to myself about the is what it is no matter how he tries to say it is not...

I too have also seen since he left in June and told me he was going to cut back...I think he did for a bit but now I see it coming back three fold...his drinking is alot more than it was just two months ago.

I have a appt on tuesday with the attorney...keep your fingers crossed for me..
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Old 08-29-2007, 02:17 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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Stillsearching, I'm finally getting to the point where I don't give more than a passing thought to whether AH is drinking again or not. As I grow in my ability to detach, I find it just doesn't matter. Even if he was still not drinking, has started going to AA, is seriously working on all his problems, it changes nothing as far as what I want for my life and what I will do to reach those goals. I sincerely hope AH is doing all those things but its no longer my direct concern. I find that I am feeling much better letting go all that baggage that is not mine. I put AH in God's hands and trust in God to deal with and help AH.

I see my attorney next Thursday to start the whole legal separation and divorce process. Its going to feel so good (even if I ahve to write that huge check for the retainer fee).
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Old 08-29-2007, 02:27 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Milwaukee WI
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bravo for you Barbara...!! I too am hoping I can get to that point but it is hard at times, but I know that he is not going to do anything else, why would he, he says he doesn't have a problem and his life is happy...
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Old 08-29-2007, 02:35 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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Originally Posted by stillsearching View Post
I know that he is not going to do anything else, why would he, he says he doesn't have a problem
Yup, that what my AH says too.
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