hadenoughnow

My AH has been sober for two days (at least as far as I know, ha) and has all the brain fog etc that goes with it. He could not talk with his SA counselor today so he called a counselor available through his union at work who turns out to be a Catholic priest. Now I commend him for reaching out for help but he ended up telling this guy that the reason we fight is over his job!!!!! He did talk about his drinking but I am sure he downplayed that, and we do not fight about his job! (he likes to balb about it endlessly when under the influence and it annoys me buts that's it).

So he comes home tonight and proceeds to tell me that I NEED to ride with him one day at work (at the priest's suggestion) so I see how his job is and that way I will understand him!

I VERY calmly explain to him (you all would be proud I tell ya) that I am not going to be doing things based on some random priest guy's opinion formed with INACCURATE info given by him. I reminded him that we are a long way from even going to marriage counseling (I refuse to even consider going until he has been sober for a few months, there is no point in trying it with an insane A). He agreed that he is in no position to try to "manage" me or our marriage.

Anything to take the focus off of their issues...........

Barbara52

LOL I'm sorry but that just struck me as very funny: a random priest telling you what you need to do to solve your problem.

I'm glad you handled this so well.

best

Or based on what he is telling you the priest guy said.

A random priest guy said... next time we meet...bring her along.
I never went back and she didn't like the idea of going either.
Her thoughts... what did I do that he wants to talk with me?
My after-thoughts.... Maybe he wanted her there so he could get the truth?


I can see the conversation already if you went to work with him.

See what I do all day?
Now do you see why I drink?

and I would like to give answer to such...

Get over it.

hadenoughnow

That's pretty much what I said to him last night, none of this is pertinent to his recovery or our marriage. Just another attempt to suck me into his quagmire or extract some sort of commitment from me.

Wascally Wabbit

Wow, I am proud of you! You are standing up for yourself and creating boundaries.
Keep up the good work!