Do alcoholics steal your drinks and lie about it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: victoria
Posts: 6
Do alcoholics steal your drinks and lie about it?
I have a question. I recently met this woman at work. She is approx 48years old and says "she used to have a drinking problem". I think she still has one. We went out last Saturday nitght to club and asked her THREE times to mind my drink while I went to the toilet and back. Three times whilst she is standing in the same place when I get back, I asked her where my drinks was. She shurgs her head and just says "no".
Three times is a bit weird for someone to loose your drink.
WOULD SHE HAVE DRANK IT ? and lied about it.
I don't want anything to do with this woman. I have been out with her on one other occassion and she sleeps with my best friend who is 18 years younger than she is. I think she is an old alcoholic tramp.
I have never in my life experienced this type of behaviour whilst out with a group in a bar in my life.
WOULD SHE HAVE DRANK IT ? and lied about it?
I'm a bit baffled by this.
Three times is a bit weird for someone to loose your drink.
WOULD SHE HAVE DRANK IT ? and lied about it.
I don't want anything to do with this woman. I have been out with her on one other occassion and she sleeps with my best friend who is 18 years younger than she is. I think she is an old alcoholic tramp.
I have never in my life experienced this type of behaviour whilst out with a group in a bar in my life.
WOULD SHE HAVE DRANK IT ? and lied about it?
I'm a bit baffled by this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: victoria
Posts: 6
Thank you for being honest.
Do you then know what you have done the next day to your friend, how it made them feel?
Did you have any remorse about this type of behaviour and the effect it had on the person you did it to?
Or is it somehow rationalised and twisted to make you feel better about it?
The worst thing about this woman's behaviour is that, 'I' feel like 'I've' just been taken for a ride and used (not to mention her abuse about it when I ased her the third trime). When I asked her about it the last time .. "I said how could you not know where it has gone?" So this woman starts waving at me "bye bye". So I leave her there and make my own way home. Not happy about this at all. I have never in my whole life experienced this behaviour from anyone. And to think she is nearly 50 years old ! My god - teenagers don't behave this way.
Do you then know what you have done the next day to your friend, how it made them feel?
Did you have any remorse about this type of behaviour and the effect it had on the person you did it to?
Or is it somehow rationalised and twisted to make you feel better about it?
The worst thing about this woman's behaviour is that, 'I' feel like 'I've' just been taken for a ride and used (not to mention her abuse about it when I ased her the third trime). When I asked her about it the last time .. "I said how could you not know where it has gone?" So this woman starts waving at me "bye bye". So I leave her there and make my own way home. Not happy about this at all. I have never in my whole life experienced this behaviour from anyone. And to think she is nearly 50 years old ! My god - teenagers don't behave this way.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Hi usedandabused:
Well, sad to say, yes, a drinker will steal the booze. I know, I've done it. My son is now legal drinking age and he used to keep liquor in his room for times when friends came over. I went down to his room on more than one occasion and poured drinks from the bottle or bottles when he was out. I was not proud of myself.
I felt remorse, shame and guilt after I did that and I apologised for doing that. That was also the day I had to tell him that I can't have any alcohol available to me in the house. I told him he needs to keep the bottles in the large liquor cabinet that is locked. Because I can't control myself. I asked my husband a long time ago to put a lock on the cabinet and my husband is very aware of my struggle with the grape and the grain. It's a hassle to for him to have to lock and unlock it everytime he wants a drink, but, bless his heart for supporting me.
It sounds like your friend is just not a very nice person in addition to being an alcoholic. We all have different personalities, from nice, honest, and considerate to not having any of those qualities. And, those qualities are going to be there whether a person drinks or not....
Well, sad to say, yes, a drinker will steal the booze. I know, I've done it. My son is now legal drinking age and he used to keep liquor in his room for times when friends came over. I went down to his room on more than one occasion and poured drinks from the bottle or bottles when he was out. I was not proud of myself.
I felt remorse, shame and guilt after I did that and I apologised for doing that. That was also the day I had to tell him that I can't have any alcohol available to me in the house. I told him he needs to keep the bottles in the large liquor cabinet that is locked. Because I can't control myself. I asked my husband a long time ago to put a lock on the cabinet and my husband is very aware of my struggle with the grape and the grain. It's a hassle to for him to have to lock and unlock it everytime he wants a drink, but, bless his heart for supporting me.
It sounds like your friend is just not a very nice person in addition to being an alcoholic. We all have different personalities, from nice, honest, and considerate to not having any of those qualities. And, those qualities are going to be there whether a person drinks or not....
harleygirl92156
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: IOWA
Posts: 430
Why are you obsessing over this person?
You know she stole your drinks. You just met this person and already you have concluded she is a thief, liar, tramp and most likely alcoholic..................
You have very little if anything invested here (well besides the three drinks...lol) just don't go out with her anymore, don't socialize with her anymore. If you work with her, just keep it all business. Let it go a move on. Simple.
You know she stole your drinks. You just met this person and already you have concluded she is a thief, liar, tramp and most likely alcoholic..................
You have very little if anything invested here (well besides the three drinks...lol) just don't go out with her anymore, don't socialize with her anymore. If you work with her, just keep it all business. Let it go a move on. Simple.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: victoria
Posts: 6
Thank you all. I think my obsession was really the utter confusion as to why this would occur within an adult atmosphere and making my night and weekend hell because of it. I have never experienced this sort of thing before and I guess it has shocked me (again). I am a sensative type and of course I care about my real friends. Though as you said I "just met this person", and I will not be investing anymore time in her again. She really could have placed me in a bad situation if she carried on worse than she did.
I only found out about alcoholism earlier this year when I found out about a close friend I have known for a few years who dissapeared for around 4-5 days. All her friends were trying to contact her for a few days and could not get in contact with her. I was scared and shocked about this and didn't know what was going on (apparently she does this once in a blue moon). Nobody had heard from her as she lived alone - I drove over to her house to see if she was ok and found her on a 4-5 day drinking binge locked in her home.
Her dogs were barking inside, the light was on ... I had goosebumps all over me when I discovered this and started to think "what was I going to find if I open the door (she could be dead)" !
She was alive! and drinking heavily. I took the cask of wine off her, fed her dogs, cleaned up her kitchen, ordered her some food, called over her other friends. We showered her etc and made her smile. Though she went on for another two days after we left. I cried for days seeing that afterwards. I eventually had a talk with her after she pulled herself together and told her "she scared me and to never to do it again" because she has many people around in her life that love her and that she is not alone and she needs to think about the people she has close to her in her life and think about them also and what it would do to them if she did something to herself.
This WINE stuff is LEATHAL ! (I do not drink it at all) It is so so toxic, and you know those posh wankers can stick the **** up their ass. They are legal cultivators/drug trafficers with their vine yards and yet pot (the better plant) growers go to prision ? Who has ever died from pot, ya don't see pot smokers sitting in alleyways with brown paper bags etc etc etc etc. I don't think I need to go on there.
I once went to a work lunch ... the executive staff were ordering their wanker wine and I order a beer. They held their noses up in disgust and said "oh dear a beer?"
I mean come on, they're no better than they guy hanging down the road with a brown paper bag around his ! They think they're so "sophisticated" with their wanky wine glass.
Though watch em in an hours time ! THEY'RE BLIND and making absoulte dicks out of themselves. And of course I am the one in control whilst still having a beer.
We need to BOYCOTT WINE !
I only found out about alcoholism earlier this year when I found out about a close friend I have known for a few years who dissapeared for around 4-5 days. All her friends were trying to contact her for a few days and could not get in contact with her. I was scared and shocked about this and didn't know what was going on (apparently she does this once in a blue moon). Nobody had heard from her as she lived alone - I drove over to her house to see if she was ok and found her on a 4-5 day drinking binge locked in her home.
Her dogs were barking inside, the light was on ... I had goosebumps all over me when I discovered this and started to think "what was I going to find if I open the door (she could be dead)" !
She was alive! and drinking heavily. I took the cask of wine off her, fed her dogs, cleaned up her kitchen, ordered her some food, called over her other friends. We showered her etc and made her smile. Though she went on for another two days after we left. I cried for days seeing that afterwards. I eventually had a talk with her after she pulled herself together and told her "she scared me and to never to do it again" because she has many people around in her life that love her and that she is not alone and she needs to think about the people she has close to her in her life and think about them also and what it would do to them if she did something to herself.
This WINE stuff is LEATHAL ! (I do not drink it at all) It is so so toxic, and you know those posh wankers can stick the **** up their ass. They are legal cultivators/drug trafficers with their vine yards and yet pot (the better plant) growers go to prision ? Who has ever died from pot, ya don't see pot smokers sitting in alleyways with brown paper bags etc etc etc etc. I don't think I need to go on there.
I once went to a work lunch ... the executive staff were ordering their wanker wine and I order a beer. They held their noses up in disgust and said "oh dear a beer?"
I mean come on, they're no better than they guy hanging down the road with a brown paper bag around his ! They think they're so "sophisticated" with their wanky wine glass.
Though watch em in an hours time ! THEY'RE BLIND and making absoulte dicks out of themselves. And of course I am the one in control whilst still having a beer.
We need to BOYCOTT WINE !
harleygirl92156
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: IOWA
Posts: 430
Originally Posted by Usedandabused 
Thank you all. I think my obsession was really the utter confusion as to why this would occur within an adult atmosphere and making my night and weekend hell because of it. I have never experienced this sort of thing before and I guess it has shocked me (again). I am a sensative type and of course I care about my real friends. Though as you said I "just met this person", and I will not be investing anymore time in her again. She really could have placed me in a bad situation if she carried on worse than she did.
I only found out about alcoholism earlier this year when I found out about a close friend I have known for a few years who dissapeared for around 4-5 days. All her friends were trying to contact her for a few days and could not get in contact with her. I was scared and shocked about this and didn't know what was going on (apparently she does this once in a blue moon). Nobody had heard from her as she lived alone - I drove over to her house to see if she was ok and found her on a 4-5 day drinking binge locked in her home.
Her dogs were barking inside, the light was on ... I had goosebumps all over me when I discovered this and started to think "what was I going to find if I open the door (she could be dead)" !
She was alive! and drinking heavily. I took the cask of wine off her, fed her dogs, cleaned up her kitchen, ordered her some food, called over her other friends. We showered her etc and made her smile. Though she went on for another two days after we left. I cried for days seeing that afterwards. I eventually had a talk with her after she pulled herself together and told her "she scared me and to never to do it again" because she has many people around in her life that love her and that she is not alone and she needs to think about the people she has close to her in her life and think about them also and what it would do to them if she did something to herself.
This WINE stuff is LEATHAL ! (I do not drink it at all) It is so so toxic, and you know those posh wankers can stick the **** up their ass. They are legal cultivators/drug trafficers with their vine yards and yet pot (the better plant) growers go to prision ? Who has ever died from pot, ya don't see pot smokers sitting in alleyways with brown paper bags etc etc etc etc. I don't think I need to go on there.
I once went to a work lunch ... the executive staff were ordering their wanker wine and I order a beer. They held their noses up in disgust and said "oh dear a beer?"
I mean come on, they're no better than they guy hanging down the road with a brown paper bag around his ! They think they're so "sophisticated" with their wanky wine glass.
Though watch em in an hours time ! THEY'RE BLIND and making absoulte dicks out of themselves. And of course I am the one in control whilst still having a beer.
We need to BOYCOTT WINE !
I only found out about alcoholism earlier this year when I found out about a close friend I have known for a few years who dissapeared for around 4-5 days. All her friends were trying to contact her for a few days and could not get in contact with her. I was scared and shocked about this and didn't know what was going on (apparently she does this once in a blue moon). Nobody had heard from her as she lived alone - I drove over to her house to see if she was ok and found her on a 4-5 day drinking binge locked in her home.
Her dogs were barking inside, the light was on ... I had goosebumps all over me when I discovered this and started to think "what was I going to find if I open the door (she could be dead)" !
She was alive! and drinking heavily. I took the cask of wine off her, fed her dogs, cleaned up her kitchen, ordered her some food, called over her other friends. We showered her etc and made her smile. Though she went on for another two days after we left. I cried for days seeing that afterwards. I eventually had a talk with her after she pulled herself together and told her "she scared me and to never to do it again" because she has many people around in her life that love her and that she is not alone and she needs to think about the people she has close to her in her life and think about them also and what it would do to them if she did something to herself.
This WINE stuff is LEATHAL ! (I do not drink it at all) It is so so toxic, and you know those posh wankers can stick the **** up their ass. They are legal cultivators/drug trafficers with their vine yards and yet pot (the better plant) growers go to prision ? Who has ever died from pot, ya don't see pot smokers sitting in alleyways with brown paper bags etc etc etc etc. I don't think I need to go on there.
I once went to a work lunch ... the executive staff were ordering their wanker wine and I order a beer. They held their noses up in disgust and said "oh dear a beer?"
I mean come on, they're no better than they guy hanging down the road with a brown paper bag around his ! They think they're so "sophisticated" with their wanky wine glass.
Though watch em in an hours time ! THEY'RE BLIND and making absoulte dicks out of themselves. And of course I am the one in control whilst still having a beer.
We need to BOYCOTT WINE !
OH MY, IS ANYONE ELSE AS SPEACHLESS AS I AM AFTER READING THIS POST......where do you even begin with thinking like this???
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: victoria
Posts: 6
What seems to be the problem?
Sorry I have never known this before in my life, nor have I seen a friend do this to themselves. I am expressing my story and my opinion about wine and the effects it has on people and what I have seen. It was very sad to see and I was in a lot of shock about it. And yes I hate to see people mess themselves up like this. So what is the problem? I guess I have lived a relatively "normal" life without having this ever come into my life.
What is to ignore? If you had any reasonable debating skills you could argue the point in a proper mannor and say you do not agree with this or that or even express some points I need to understand.
Sorry I have never known this before in my life, nor have I seen a friend do this to themselves. I am expressing my story and my opinion about wine and the effects it has on people and what I have seen. It was very sad to see and I was in a lot of shock about it. And yes I hate to see people mess themselves up like this. So what is the problem? I guess I have lived a relatively "normal" life without having this ever come into my life.
What is to ignore? If you had any reasonable debating skills you could argue the point in a proper mannor and say you do not agree with this or that or even express some points I need to understand.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Usedandabused
What is to ignore? If you had any reasonable debating skills you could argue the point in a proper mannor and say you do not agree with this or that or even express some points I need to understand.
We come here to gather info and share info on how to find a better way of living with the affects alcohol has on both the user and those around them.
harleygirl92156
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: IOWA
Posts: 430
Originally Posted by Usedandabused
Seems I'm getting abused by more drunks !
I will give you a piece of information, alcohol is alcohol. What left me speachless is the fact that you felt wine was far worse than beer. If you are interested in educating yourself, there is a huge amount of experience and information on this and other sites. Ask questions, you will get answers, ask for specific information, you will be guided to it, but don't name call.
A good majority of us on this site live with or have lived with an alcoholic. There are a few recovering "drunks" as YOU refer to them, but the thing is everyone is here to help one another.
I am sorry my post angered you, I shouldn't have posted it, but I really was amazed. I had no idea how to respond to your post. I guess I should have just not posted, I am sorry.
If you have specific questions, post them, you will get a wealth of infomation, support and compassion.
Good luck and God Bless
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
Usedandabused,
The web of addiction is complicated for all members involved. For those of us who are tightly involved with an alcoholic/addict, we have to work on changing our own attitudes/behaviors. This is a learning process for us, and not an easy one. Often times it's no coincidence that we wound up involved with an alcoholic due to our codependent attitudes. Basically, it's pretty involved. Takes a lot of humility, lots of time examining our lives/attitudes/beliefs and willingness to make changes.
One of the staples of learning not to be codependent is learning how to not try to control others, or be obsessed with their behavior. Our lives can not be based on whether or not another human being drinks.
In addition, those of us with alcoholics in our lives have lived through quite a bit of turmoil, chaos, hurt and tears as a result.
So, if you post a drive by about an acquaintence you suspect stole a few of your drinks, and then offer up a sarcastic solution to the problem of alcoholism (which includes control, something we try to avoid), you're taking a flippant attitude to a huge problem that we deal with every day of our lives. That could be why your encountering some rejection.
If you don't have an alcoholic/addict in your life, but believe you may be a codie (affectionate term for codependent), you might want to check out: http://www.coda.org/
The web of addiction is complicated for all members involved. For those of us who are tightly involved with an alcoholic/addict, we have to work on changing our own attitudes/behaviors. This is a learning process for us, and not an easy one. Often times it's no coincidence that we wound up involved with an alcoholic due to our codependent attitudes. Basically, it's pretty involved. Takes a lot of humility, lots of time examining our lives/attitudes/beliefs and willingness to make changes.
One of the staples of learning not to be codependent is learning how to not try to control others, or be obsessed with their behavior. Our lives can not be based on whether or not another human being drinks.
In addition, those of us with alcoholics in our lives have lived through quite a bit of turmoil, chaos, hurt and tears as a result.
So, if you post a drive by about an acquaintence you suspect stole a few of your drinks, and then offer up a sarcastic solution to the problem of alcoholism (which includes control, something we try to avoid), you're taking a flippant attitude to a huge problem that we deal with every day of our lives. That could be why your encountering some rejection.
If you don't have an alcoholic/addict in your life, but believe you may be a codie (affectionate term for codependent), you might want to check out: http://www.coda.org/
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
My grandfather used to be the president of a CODA chapter on the west coast, a rather large one. Back then, all of us family members thought he was nuts, lol. Could not understand why this old man had to keep contemplating his childhood. Now that I see myself as a codie, I have shared the link with my brothers. Both are having some major eye-opening realizations about themselves. Likewise, I know my mother is a major codie. She also believes she's too old to change her ways, so I don't suspect she'd be open to change. But I will probably mention it to her someday. Anyway, my grandfather is in his 90's now and probably doesn't even remember being in CODA or otherwise, I'd tell him I discovered it. He'd love to know that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: WI
Posts: 180
LOL! Upon seeing the moniker "Usedandabused" I assumed long suffering wife or gf of an A. Not the workmate of a woman who swiped U&A's drinky-poo at the pub! I agree with harleygirl...this person has no idea what it is to be abused by an A.
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