Sad and sort of angry
Guess what, I'm not crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 286
Sad and sort of angry
Today is the first day my AH has had off in three weeks. It has been 9 days since we last went out and he gambled a bunch of money. It has been 16 days since he pulled 280.00 out of the atm and lost it then told me not to trust him.
Today he asked if we could go out for a while and I said fine. We ended up at this bar and he wanted to play the machines AGAIN. he set a limit and we played together (I know I shouldn't have) We ended up stopping at about 30.00 up. Then sat down. It took him only a minute to go back and start playing again. He left me sitting there and played for about 45 minutes and lost at least 60.00. He said he would stop but then after sitting there for five minutes told me he wanted me to play with him. I said NO. We came home and he just walked out to go to a local place (he can walk to) to play alone because I wouldn't play any more.
So here I sit. He is mad at me because I runed his day and is off to loose yet more money. I feel sad but not realy angry. I guess I feel like it's not worth the effort. I have been doing a lot of thinking in the last few weeks and none of it leads (us) in the same direction.
Well, I guess I better get off here. I don't think he will be gone long and I don't want him to know about this site. If he knows about it...... He will only tell me to stay away and wnat to know what I have told you.
I hope you are all well and I sure wish I could still get on from work.
D :-(
Today he asked if we could go out for a while and I said fine. We ended up at this bar and he wanted to play the machines AGAIN. he set a limit and we played together (I know I shouldn't have) We ended up stopping at about 30.00 up. Then sat down. It took him only a minute to go back and start playing again. He left me sitting there and played for about 45 minutes and lost at least 60.00. He said he would stop but then after sitting there for five minutes told me he wanted me to play with him. I said NO. We came home and he just walked out to go to a local place (he can walk to) to play alone because I wouldn't play any more.
So here I sit. He is mad at me because I runed his day and is off to loose yet more money. I feel sad but not realy angry. I guess I feel like it's not worth the effort. I have been doing a lot of thinking in the last few weeks and none of it leads (us) in the same direction.
Well, I guess I better get off here. I don't think he will be gone long and I don't want him to know about this site. If he knows about it...... He will only tell me to stay away and wnat to know what I have told you.
I hope you are all well and I sure wish I could still get on from work.
D :-(
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Sounds like his gambling is a very serious problem. If you have any joint accounts, I'd remove his name and access to them ASAP. Otherwise, he'll bring you down with him and you'll both end up homeless. And don't forget, since you are legally married to him, any debt he incurs will be your responsibility as well.
Perhaps it's time to talk to a lawyer. I don't know why you're not angry about this. I'd be furious and taking steps to protect myself immediately. Best of luck to you.
Perhaps it's time to talk to a lawyer. I don't know why you're not angry about this. I'd be furious and taking steps to protect myself immediately. Best of luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Each time you get on here (or anywhere elese you don't want him knowing about) just get rid of you history when you are done. Simple and will keep him in the dark unless he's fairly knowledgeable about computers.
Don't let him that this means of support away from you.
Don't let him that this means of support away from you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
and lost it then told me not to trust him.
If this is an ongoing problem, which it's sounding like it is, I think Jill is right to suggest keeping separate accounts. No need to go down with him when his ship sinks.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
I had some neighbors who seemed like the perfect family.
One day out of nowhere, he left. It was so strange because they always seemed like the perfect darn family!
Well, we all learn that he had a gambling problem. He had blown every cent of their retirement money.
She was a school teacher for 3rd grade. After he left, she went right down hill. She got addicted to drugs, and had every thug and creep at her house day and night. Mind you she was 44 and her new boyfriend was 18.
She just lost her mind.
It got so bad that she couldn't make the house payments, and didnt' mow the lawn, It looked like a jungle. Several complaints from the neighborhood association didn't get anywhere.
Well, eventually she lost the house. And because of the well known drug program, several neighborhood parents complained to the school board that this teacher was a drug addict. She lost her job to teach.
That's the last I heard of her.
She didn't take care of herself and she lost everything when it didn't have to happen.
My moral of the story is to keep money seperate. Otherwise you might find all the money you thought you had is GONE. At least you'd know what you have and how much.
One day out of nowhere, he left. It was so strange because they always seemed like the perfect darn family!
Well, we all learn that he had a gambling problem. He had blown every cent of their retirement money.
She was a school teacher for 3rd grade. After he left, she went right down hill. She got addicted to drugs, and had every thug and creep at her house day and night. Mind you she was 44 and her new boyfriend was 18.
She just lost her mind.
It got so bad that she couldn't make the house payments, and didnt' mow the lawn, It looked like a jungle. Several complaints from the neighborhood association didn't get anywhere.
Well, eventually she lost the house. And because of the well known drug program, several neighborhood parents complained to the school board that this teacher was a drug addict. She lost her job to teach.
That's the last I heard of her.
She didn't take care of herself and she lost everything when it didn't have to happen.
My moral of the story is to keep money seperate. Otherwise you might find all the money you thought you had is GONE. At least you'd know what you have and how much.
Guess what, I'm not crazy.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 286
Hey there, I do have my own checking and savings. I got an inharatance from when my mom died and payed down a lot of debt, but..... I kept some for my self. I have been socking money away every month for a while and have more than enough to move out at any time.
The gambling thing has been an on and off thing with him. When we owned our bar and had the machines it drove him nuts when people would win money and so he would dip into the deposit and play. This only happened when he was tanked but then when he got diabetes his drinking slowed and we no longer had the bar so it seemed to go away and only show up when he drank too much and got mad. Now his drinking is getting out of hand and any time he has the energy to go out and drink he plays the machines.
There are days I say, I don't think I can take this any more but you know what.... I could take this to my grave, put up with is forever and beyond but today I am thinking (I don't want to put up with this any more)
I better go, I shouldn't be on here from work and I have to get some stuff done before starting some training.
The gambling thing has been an on and off thing with him. When we owned our bar and had the machines it drove him nuts when people would win money and so he would dip into the deposit and play. This only happened when he was tanked but then when he got diabetes his drinking slowed and we no longer had the bar so it seemed to go away and only show up when he drank too much and got mad. Now his drinking is getting out of hand and any time he has the energy to go out and drink he plays the machines.
There are days I say, I don't think I can take this any more but you know what.... I could take this to my grave, put up with is forever and beyond but today I am thinking (I don't want to put up with this any more)
I better go, I shouldn't be on here from work and I have to get some stuff done before starting some training.
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