breaking point

I'm all new to this. I guess I just want to know I'm not going insane. But i guess that's a personal opinion so tell me what you think. I've been with what I believe is an AHBF for 5 years. He was drunk when we met and Still is on most occasions. Now I weigh up how much time we spend together and how much of that time he spends hammered and I believe he has a drinking problem. The thing is that he's held down a very respectable job which I'm sure he must stay sober for so no-one will really listen to me and everyone else thinks it's ok that he "relaxes" when he's not at work. However I'm getting really p***ed off with getting kicked out of bars, kebab shops and coffee shops etc and I'm embarrassed when he urinates in public and I am getting so so bored of our friends always coming up with things like "Hey remember that time when you were sick in a crisp packet and it was your best friend all night!" or "Remember when you p***ed on my sofa". I feel like an old woman sometimes because I live right near this beach wich is picturesque and I love to go down there with my dog and go swimming but I'm beggining to hate it because I'm always dragged down there with his imbred friends to listen to him slurr a few songs out on guitar. Everyone else thinks it's great, a few cans and a tune on the beach watching the sunset but I just know he can't just stop at a few cans. That's another thing. He can remain sober for as long as he can be bothered but it's as soon as he gets a whiff of drink that it starts. I'm at my wit's end with him. And don't think that I've sat idolly by watching him drink us both into the ground. There is no reasoning with this guy. After years of nagging I managed to get him to register with a doctor. A year later I forced him to go for a checkup. The doctor told him he was obesely overweight (due to binge drinking) and took a liver sample and guess what... lazy fat bas***d didn't go to get his results. So the next time I sat at home wondering where the hell he was, ringing his mobile god knows how many times. I packed his stuff. when he stumbled in he came home to find the house bare of his stuff. I'd put it all in boxes and stacked them in the living room. He grew up a little after that night. And now he's doing it again. We're going straight down that same old path again. I'm trying to make the best out of the worst situation I could ever find myself in. I've concentrated on me and sorting out my future and my career and he's just dragging his heels behind me. Last year I flipped out completely fed up of being used and mentally battered and I declared myself homeless. I moved out and stayed with various friends and family. He made my life hell. it was a difficult time already and I was weak. I felt so sick all of the time that I just cracked under pressure and went back to him. Now I'm regretting every second of it. I feel so two faced because sometimes I will convince myself that I'm so in love and that we make each other so happy that i FORGET how I feel when he drinks. Am I going mad?

GiveLove

Breaking,

You're not crazy. You just love someone who's an alcoholic. Welcome to Sober Recovery, where you're joining a community of people who know just what you're going through, 'cause they've been through it too.

Read around a bit. Read some of the other posts, read the "sticky" material at the top, just learn everything you can about all of the different faces alcoholism can take, how people have tried to cope, etc. It really helps to learn all you can....knowledge is power.

Alanon meetings were helpful to me, when I was first trying to figure out what to do, because there in the room with me were a dozen other women trying to figure out the same thing!! It helped just to have the support of people who knew what I was talking about and had some good ideas.

Welcome, and hugs,
GiveLove

Mair

Hi Breakin Point ((())) Glad you found us, your in good hands here. Read about the illness try "Under the Influence" i got it from Amazon, once you understand what you are dealing with you can begin to look after YOU. Keep on posting and reading here, the people here are trully amazing.

Mair x

cmc

Hi Breaking Point,
Welcome to SR. I'm glad you decided to post and share your story. Alanon meetings were a real life saver for me. I hope you will give it a try, because like here on this forum, there are many in Alanon who have found a better way to live with this disease.

guineapigjude

Hi and welcome. Lots of great people here, with info and words of wisdom.
You aren't crazy, and you aren't alone. We're here, and we get it. Keep posting!

denny57

welcome, breaking point, glad you're here!