lostnfound1961

Well, I am real sad to say I may not be able to access this site any longer. I can't from home because my husband watches everything I do on the net and I do not want him reading my posts. Yesterday I noticed that I am getting a worning from work that this is concidered a PERSONAL site and I should not be here. Not sure if they track this error but I do not want to loose my job.

If I figure a way around my delema then I will surely be back but for now I must say good bye.
D

CatsPajamas

The recovery site is for you and your recovery. It's personal, private and anonymous. If your husband watches? Then so be it. You're here to find help and support for challenges in your life.

Are there any meetings nearby that you can attend? I found face to face meetings to be very helpful as well.

HUGS

Cats

2Growstrong

You could also try your local public library. The ones here have free internet access. Take care of Yourself. Good luck.

sunshine321

I don't think you should let him dictate your recovery. I know it's hard as I have the same problem. I try to get online whenever he is out of the room or leaves the house. If he is around, I do say that it's personal and I'd appreciate some privacy. I let him know it's a recovery site because I wouldn't want him to think I was doing anything sneaky. Can you tell him what you are doing or will he freak out and feel threatened? I hope you can work this out.

Jenny

parentrecovers

hugs, lost. that's just not fair. k

tryvia

I'm going to second the "library" motion. Almost every public library these days has internet access, though you may have to have a library card to avail yourself of it.

Also, if you go to "Tools" up at the top then drop down to "Internet Options", it will let you delete the history of sites you've visited, as well as any cookies you've picked up. I don't know if he's literally looking over your shoulder or just checking out where you've been once you get off the computer, but if it's the latter, that should take care of it.

ARealLady

Very sorry to hear this!

Like Tryvia suggests you can clear the history each time you stop using the computer. In addition, you should not use the permanent log in feature for this forum but just log in and out as you use the website. If your H knows your screen-name for this forum, you can create another one and the forum admin should be able to delete your "lostnfound" account along with the posts.

I hope we don't "lose" you!

ARL

pineapple2007

u can go on from home. and then clear ur internet history. then he cannot track what sites/pages u view....

Lady BlueMiles

I'm sad too. I understand the problem with work. My job blocks sites like this, they're inaccessable. Do you think your putting yourself in harms way if your husband finds out you come to SR on his computer, or is it strictly a privacy issue? Would clearing the history in internet options work for you?

I haven't told my AH I've started attending Alanon on Monday nights or about the SR board. So far he's been out drinking three nights and didn't realize I wasn't home and I made an excuse the fourth night.

Part of me thinks it's none of his business and my recovery isn't something I want to share with him. And another part of me wants to tell him because my desire for privacy is getting in the way of my recovery. I don't want to lie or sneak around to go to more meetings during the week.

I'm not sure how he'll respond to it if I do tell him. I think he'll be very threatened. I'd like to have a few more meetings under my belt, and start feeling stronger and comfortable with the program before I have to deal with him about it.


Its a double edged sword and as long as I'm living with him I think I'm eventually going to have to choose more meetings and recovery time over being afraid of his response and avoiding his BS. The courage to change the things I can.

AskingWhy

Why don't you talk to your supervisor, if you have a good relationship with him/her. Ask if you can come in to work 30 mins early....and visit the site...or stay 30-60 mins late each day and visit the site...BEFORE and/or AFTER your work hours? If they are able to track your visits and your super knows you are doing it from 730-800 or 500-600 I can't imagine there'd be a problem. BUT, get written permission from your super if you do this...that way if they come down on you and bypass him you have proof that you were told it was ok.

lostnfound1961

Thanks everyone.
D

guyinNC

I agree with talking with your boss. They are people too and they only want to assure that employees are not wasting their time while on the clock. (It is a big problem these days!) However, they may allow you access during lunch or after hours. But you will have to divulge your personal problems.

A library or an internet cafe may be a less obtrusive route......maybe even a blackberry.

If he is watching you that closely, thats a red flag on top of his alcoholism. Perhaps its time to plan your escape?