Daughters worse than ever, help!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Eastern Washington/ Arizona
Posts: 24
Daughters worse than ever, help!!!
Daughter stopped by and she was high as could be. Giggly, jumpy and just looked awful. Last time I saw her she was moody and quiet.
Friend said she thinks she is Bipolar. I don't know enough about it.
I need suggestions on talking her into seeing a Dr. Anyone have any ideas. Her hubby assures me its not drugs. Hes at his wits end and the kids act a little afraid of her.
Friend said she thinks she is Bipolar. I don't know enough about it.
I need suggestions on talking her into seeing a Dr. Anyone have any ideas. Her hubby assures me its not drugs. Hes at his wits end and the kids act a little afraid of her.
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Hi distraughtmom
Wow, not sure what to tell you. It's kind of hard to make anyone do something they don't want to do. Usually if they are harmful to themselves or others and you've heard them, you can have them 302'd (that what they call it here), where they lock them down in the hospital for 72 hours.
I wish I had more advice to give you but that's the only thing I know of.
Others might know so keep checking back.
Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
Wow, not sure what to tell you. It's kind of hard to make anyone do something they don't want to do. Usually if they are harmful to themselves or others and you've heard them, you can have them 302'd (that what they call it here), where they lock them down in the hospital for 72 hours.
I wish I had more advice to give you but that's the only thing I know of.
Others might know so keep checking back.
Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: dysfunction junction,nc
Posts: 381
distraughtmom,
My husband is bi-polar and it is a very tricky disease. I got him to take the mood disorder quiz at WebMD.com and it gave us a positive answer and right on the money. Maybe you could try that and see what it leads to. If its positive...print it out and take it to your Dr for advice. Even call your Dr.
Take care and keep us posted,
2many2count
My husband is bi-polar and it is a very tricky disease. I got him to take the mood disorder quiz at WebMD.com and it gave us a positive answer and right on the money. Maybe you could try that and see what it leads to. If its positive...print it out and take it to your Dr for advice. Even call your Dr.
Take care and keep us posted,
2many2count
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: San Jose,Ca
Posts: 1
Distraught,
I had a friend who was manic/depressive and I have a son who did so much LSD that he has to deal with hallucinations even after a year and a half clean. Both of them had/have a hard time determining what was/is real and what wasn't/isn't.
In dealing with both of them, I found that if I didn't "react" to their "problems" things went a lot better. Example: We would be talking about something and their conversation would become disjointed and start not to make sense. I found that if I just let them know, calmly, that I wasn't following what they were saying (or in some cases just stating, calmly, that they weren't making sense) it would tend to make them stop and concentrate more. When I remained calm, it often helped them focus and tended to "bring them back down to earth".
I haven't seen my friend in many years, but my son lives with me. He's doing much better nowadays, he's on medication to help with the hallucinations and is holding down a steady job. Still, there is evidence of the damage done by the LSD.
He got off of the medication a while back and started getting "weird" again. I wasn't sure if he was using again or if he was struggling with the psychosis. We (my 2 daughters and I) decided we needed to sit down with him and talk about it. We (my daughters and I) talked with him about what we were seeing and how it was starting to concern us. We made a point of talking about "our" feelings and "our" concerns. Tried to keep it nonconfrontational or accusitory. That seemed to help...
At first he was very upset that we brought it up. But he thought about it for a few days (and we left him alone to do just that) and he decided on his own to get back on the medication.
Have you concidered getting together with her husband and talking to her about your concerns? (Not necs a good idea when she's at an extreme - good to wait until she's "come down" a little - if possible)
I must say, a lot of people with mental problems don't like the side effects of the medication(s). There can be sexual side effects, there can be twitches, unwanted psychological differences (this one is why my son decided to stop the meds the first time), just to name a few. Ultimately, medication is their decision, they have to live with the consequences of their decisions. And..., when you really think about it, they're the ones living in their bodies - they know what does and doesn't work for them - we need to respect that. Hard as that may be...
Above all, I find it helpful to "give" my son to my Higher Power. When talking with him/ thinking about him/ dealing with him, I try to realize that even as my Higher Power gives me direction and insight, that same Higher Power works in him - always and in all ways. No matter what the "outter" shell seems to be saying.
Working the steps using "mental illness" in place of "alcoholism" really helps.
1. We have no control over whether or not someone has a mental illness.
2. We came to believe a Higher Power could restore OUR sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn it over to our Higher Power.
4. Made a searching...
I'm going to end this now and put it in my Higher Powers hands,
Jim
I had a friend who was manic/depressive and I have a son who did so much LSD that he has to deal with hallucinations even after a year and a half clean. Both of them had/have a hard time determining what was/is real and what wasn't/isn't.
In dealing with both of them, I found that if I didn't "react" to their "problems" things went a lot better. Example: We would be talking about something and their conversation would become disjointed and start not to make sense. I found that if I just let them know, calmly, that I wasn't following what they were saying (or in some cases just stating, calmly, that they weren't making sense) it would tend to make them stop and concentrate more. When I remained calm, it often helped them focus and tended to "bring them back down to earth".
I haven't seen my friend in many years, but my son lives with me. He's doing much better nowadays, he's on medication to help with the hallucinations and is holding down a steady job. Still, there is evidence of the damage done by the LSD.
He got off of the medication a while back and started getting "weird" again. I wasn't sure if he was using again or if he was struggling with the psychosis. We (my 2 daughters and I) decided we needed to sit down with him and talk about it. We (my daughters and I) talked with him about what we were seeing and how it was starting to concern us. We made a point of talking about "our" feelings and "our" concerns. Tried to keep it nonconfrontational or accusitory. That seemed to help...
At first he was very upset that we brought it up. But he thought about it for a few days (and we left him alone to do just that) and he decided on his own to get back on the medication.
Have you concidered getting together with her husband and talking to her about your concerns? (Not necs a good idea when she's at an extreme - good to wait until she's "come down" a little - if possible)
I must say, a lot of people with mental problems don't like the side effects of the medication(s). There can be sexual side effects, there can be twitches, unwanted psychological differences (this one is why my son decided to stop the meds the first time), just to name a few. Ultimately, medication is their decision, they have to live with the consequences of their decisions. And..., when you really think about it, they're the ones living in their bodies - they know what does and doesn't work for them - we need to respect that. Hard as that may be...
Above all, I find it helpful to "give" my son to my Higher Power. When talking with him/ thinking about him/ dealing with him, I try to realize that even as my Higher Power gives me direction and insight, that same Higher Power works in him - always and in all ways. No matter what the "outter" shell seems to be saying.
Working the steps using "mental illness" in place of "alcoholism" really helps.
1. We have no control over whether or not someone has a mental illness.
2. We came to believe a Higher Power could restore OUR sanity.
3. We made a decision to turn it over to our Higher Power.
4. Made a searching...
I'm going to end this now and put it in my Higher Powers hands,
Jim
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Eastern Washington/ Arizona
Posts: 24
The other problem I'm having is the financial problem.
Every time I see her she needs money for bills or friends shes borrowed from and my well is running dry. If I tell her no, she won't talk to me or cuts me off from my grandkids.
Awful to say it but it easier when, shes out of my life for a while and others don't seem to understand her, even her brothers.
Any one with suggestions on this end. Tomorrow is the day I see her and I have to tell her "no More"
Every time I see her she needs money for bills or friends shes borrowed from and my well is running dry. If I tell her no, she won't talk to me or cuts me off from my grandkids.
Awful to say it but it easier when, shes out of my life for a while and others don't seem to understand her, even her brothers.
Any one with suggestions on this end. Tomorrow is the day I see her and I have to tell her "no More"
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
The advice on it maybe being bi polar or something else mental
would be something to suggest to your daughter or her husband that they look into. My son was diagnosed bi polar and as Jim suggests the 12 steps for alanon and AA are the way i try to live my life these days,my daughter is an alcoholic.so, believe me when i say i came into the program quite "crazy" myself from the effects.
Taking my life one day at a time,most days i am doing alright and others like today had me running to a meeting tonight !
keep taking care of yourself Distraught, its the only way we can
live and if you say no more money then thats the way it is,period.
hugs
liddy
would be something to suggest to your daughter or her husband that they look into. My son was diagnosed bi polar and as Jim suggests the 12 steps for alanon and AA are the way i try to live my life these days,my daughter is an alcoholic.so, believe me when i say i came into the program quite "crazy" myself from the effects.
Taking my life one day at a time,most days i am doing alright and others like today had me running to a meeting tonight !
keep taking care of yourself Distraught, its the only way we can
live and if you say no more money then thats the way it is,period.
hugs
liddy
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