Peace feels great...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
Peace feels great...
Today I got the phone call I'd been waiting for... the one where XAH, lonely and sad, called to talk. I used to think I'd gloat at that moment, or say I told you so, or even laugh. But since I've been on SR and going to meetings and reading, I've come long way. Longer than I thought.
XAH was really down about the circumstances he's found himself in, and going out of his way to compliment me on everything and anything. I was able to point out that his circumstances were a result of his actions, and that I was the same person he had considered the root of all his problems, no better, no worse. I was also able to remind him that I had tried to point out that his "plans" weren't realistic, and that he had been beligerent and irrational towards me, therefore I had given him what he wished in regards to the divorce settlement, rather than what I knew to be the most sensible terms. I said what I needed to say without drama, yelling, name calling, etc. and let it go. He was able to admit he hadn't made good choices, and sounded almost defeated.
He's very lonely, and his life hasn't worked out to be the bed of roses he had hoped. He sees the kids moving on, and is very depressed because they don't call him. He's finding it overwhelming to deal with life on his own ~ He isn't equipped to handle it.
There's no satisfaction at this moment, but there is peace. I'm finally at a place in my recovery where I'm not happy over his misery, or trying to save him, or worrying about him. I admit I'm happy to hear that he's starting to see a little reality, because perhaps that gives hope that someday he'll be open to accepting that he's an alcoholic/addict . But in any event, it's not my problem.
It's very nice to feel bad for him, to pity him, and to move on with my life.
XAH was really down about the circumstances he's found himself in, and going out of his way to compliment me on everything and anything. I was able to point out that his circumstances were a result of his actions, and that I was the same person he had considered the root of all his problems, no better, no worse. I was also able to remind him that I had tried to point out that his "plans" weren't realistic, and that he had been beligerent and irrational towards me, therefore I had given him what he wished in regards to the divorce settlement, rather than what I knew to be the most sensible terms. I said what I needed to say without drama, yelling, name calling, etc. and let it go. He was able to admit he hadn't made good choices, and sounded almost defeated.
He's very lonely, and his life hasn't worked out to be the bed of roses he had hoped. He sees the kids moving on, and is very depressed because they don't call him. He's finding it overwhelming to deal with life on his own ~ He isn't equipped to handle it.
There's no satisfaction at this moment, but there is peace. I'm finally at a place in my recovery where I'm not happy over his misery, or trying to save him, or worrying about him. I admit I'm happy to hear that he's starting to see a little reality, because perhaps that gives hope that someday he'll be open to accepting that he's an alcoholic/addict . But in any event, it's not my problem.
It's very nice to feel bad for him, to pity him, and to move on with my life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 31
When I read your story it helps to remind me of the talent my husband had at manipultion and I hope to never recieve that phone call . It would be to me such a last ditch effort of his to play on my loving heart. I would dislike him even more for it.
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Its wonderful, isn't it? To finally be able to let go. Peace is the one thing that was nonexistant while I lived with an addict and with an alcoholic. Nothing but chaos every single day.
I found peace too. I am oh so thankful for it, and I protect it too.
I found peace too. I am oh so thankful for it, and I protect it too.
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