kglast

Last night, or early this AM, I was having a dream that XAF had found sobriety, and we were back together, so happy to be that way, working things out - he broke things off with his new "friend"....we were so happy....then the alarm went off...reality slapped me in the face...

This is definitely adding to my depression today - started a new thread b/c I am curious -

Has anyone else had these dreams???

Astro

(((kglast))) Can't honestly say I've had dreams like that, but I can assure you that alcoholics have some pretty horrific drinking dreams. I guess I've dreamed a couple times about getting back together with my ex in sobriety, those dreams are sad and drain me emotionally for the day.

MsGolightly

i've definitely had those dreams... and i always wake up sad.

then i start to think rationally and think about all of the problems we would have and how nothing between us would ever be happily ever after. kg, you'll find someone that cherishes and adores you, not someone who passed you over for someone 20 years older, or for a bottle.

MTBChick

I've had them a lot right after my ex-rabf broke up with me (that was more than a year ago) and like the others I would wake up sad and have to face the reality that my ex-rabf had cheated on me with other women and had broken up with me to continue his relationship with a woman that he originally started cheating on me with five months earlier. Today, I sometimes have dreams about the two of us being friends through recovery. I wake up sad at the fact that despite me having hope that one day we could be friends nothing has been shown to me by my HP that this is in his plans....and its his will for me not mine.

I hope your day gets better Kglast (((())))

cagefree

I didn't have a dream like that in the beginning...but during one stretch of time where I had a tough time validating myself I had a dream where he stopped by and apologized for everything he did and put me through - it was everything I wanted to hear.

When I woke up, I felt good. It was as though my mind was telling me I was valid through this dream. I was also thinking that there is nothing more that man could ever say to me that I could ever take at face value - ever...

Then I had that dream about the fish/frog that I started the thread on earlier - that said it all.

hbb

I too have had way more dreams recently of my ex than ever when we were together and they all seem to be good. But then like the others, i wake up, i'm bummed out and then think about all the crap he created and try to forget about the dream because it's usually the "dream" of how i wished things could have been. So sorry kg your feeling like this, i've definately had my fare share in the past month or so....it stinks

MTBChick

Funny that you wrote this b/c it is exactly what I have been feeling... wanting to be validated. I know we have to learn to validate ourselves...but at the same time it can be hard to do. I have tried in the past to force through mainpulation, pleading, and or guilt to get that validation from the ex-rabf or to try and control things to my liking. It hasn't ever, even when we were together provided me with the validation that I can get from with in or the validation that comes from another when there are no strings or consequences attached. Thus, I have given up on trying to control what I can't. I'd rather have no apology and no validation, than receiving one that feels forced, to relieve ones guilt, and done only b/c a step or someone else has told them they are supposed to. Anyway, I know off topic but as much as I can find the validation in myself at times it does feel good to have that validation from others. Another point is true friends and those who truly care about us and love us will show us and validate us. I don't know I"m rambling. I just know that when I have a friend who is hurting or going through a troubling time that I will reach out and try and be of service to them.

cmc

Hi,
I'm sorry that dream caused you such distress. I have frequent, vivid and detailed dreams.
I had one dream of being in a car with my son when he was actively using. _I_ was driving the car but I was completely passive about where we were headed. We picked up a friend of his and proceeded to drive off a bridge...as if there was a freeway ramp veering over the water. When I woke up I was completely aware of how that related to my enabling and 'going along with' the destruction in his life. Oddly, in the dream I was completely unaware of there being any danger to myself, my son or the car.
I think my brain, in my unconscious state is often trying to resolve issues. A few of my dreams have proven to be wonderful gifts where I could 'see' things clearer, and some have been true nightmares. I relate many of my dreams to life events and emotions- fear, grief, hope etc...I also have to tell myself that sometimes a dream is just my random thoughts that happen while I'm asleep.
I hope you will sort out what this dream has to offer you in your recovery.