aGrandma

I hope I am not sticking my neck out here, but from what I am gleaning from al-anon and AA, there is some prayer/religion involved...some God stuff, etc. Many people do not believe in that - are they still accepted and do they get a lot out of the meetings? I haven't gone to a meeting yet.

wister

I just went to my first meeting today. There was talk of a God or as many put it a higher power, but it was by no means the majority of what we talked about. The meeting did begin and end with a prayer, but no one would know if you did not participate. It was really had for me to get up the courage, but it was well worth it. I would suggest that the only way your going to know is to try it your self. As I was told you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

embraced2000

jmho.....religious and spirituality are two seperate things in my life.

i believe in a higher power and the power of positive thinking....i also happen to believe in god. but even if i did not believe in god, i would feel very in tune with the earth and the universe and the goodness in all people.

religiousness takes on a different meaning for me. i do not attend church, but i have a group of friends that gather and we exchange good vibes and try to reach our inner child. we believe that good prevails. that is my higher power.

i think of god sometimes as that inner voice giving me hints at what i know is right from wrong.

please don't let the referances to god keep you from attending al-anon.....many non-believers gather in those rooms every day, and still benefit from the content.

at my meeting, we have one person who declines to participate in the prayer.....he susbtitues his own medication at that time. he has even taught some of us.

it's all about learning....whether it be through god, as we know him, or our higher power, which could be any other spiritual beliefs.

hope this helps
jeri

Lady BlueMiles

The meetings I went to use spiritual terms "Higher Power" and "Let Go and Let God." with God defined "as we understand or define it." Alanon isn't supposed to be a religious program. The meetings I went to didn't focus on it. Some individuals may be religious while others might not be.

I've read many agnostics/atheists have been able to successfully work AA or Alanon by substituting a spiritual belief in a HP or God to the strength found in their higher consciousness or the strength found outside of themselves as a group and support system. The serenity prayer is very simple and I can see these substitutions could work very easily.

Hope this helps.

GlassPrisoner

AA is a spiritual program, but not religious.

We have a member in out Wednesday night meeting. He's got 5 years dry, but just came back to AA recently. He hates the G word.

Anyway, he was down at Central Office re-stocking the literature, and had recently quit his job. While down there, he was offered a part time position. He said "You know, it's wierd how that happend. It's almost as if .......*pauses *..........NO WAY !!"

His current higher power is "Good".

Ogly

You don't have to believe in God to attend meetings.... You don't even have to be spiritual though most us get to a point where we in the spiritual. To many crazy things happen to help us when we can not help ourselves......

The program is about a Higher Power as you understand it...... That could be God in the traditional sense or it could be you talking to the squirrel in your back yard when you are having a bad day.... Or it could just be recognizing a really strange coincidence that you have no way of explaining in any other manor than that had to be a higher power.

Do not not go to a meeting because you are afraid it might be religious in nature becasue the only person you will be hurting will be you....

Spiritual Seeker

God is a stumbling block for many in the programs. One of my best friends that I met in Al-Anon a couple of yrs. ago was raised agnostic. I was not raised with religion and had my doubts. We both have come to believe in higher power of our understanding, we've both become spiritual people and we have both been changed dramatically by attending al-anon for sev. yrs. There is a saying: "if you don't like what we have we will refund your misery" All you have to believe is that there is a better way to live your life and cope with your circumstances.

FormerDoormat

I believe there is a God, or a power greater than I, but I never got much out of church and haven't been in years--too many hipocrites attended the weekly services for me. So I, too, consider myself spiritual, but not religious. Like others have said, AA and Alanon are not based on religion. They are spirtually based programs, meaning that some things like alcoholism are simply more powerful than we are. It really isn't more complicated than that.

There is so much to gain by attending AA and Alanon and you've got nothing to lose so why not attend with an open mind and do what the rest of us have done: take what you like and leave the rest.

Grasshopper

Folks always seem to put God and religion in the same area.And ive always wondered why.My question would be,if God,is religious what religion would He be?Mankind invented religion,a place to worship God.And yup there are no saints there,just like myself...smile...
When i first came into the rooms i really didnt want to hear about the God,stuff either.But ya know after listening,watching these recovery folks i had to admit,that they had something that i wanted.They had peace,within the storms,of their lives.I never had that,until i too started to learn a new way to think and live.

lillamy

I think if you're raised in and hurt by churches, you'll wince at the word "God" -- but don't miss the "as we understand him"... One of my Al-Anon friends said that he struggled with the "higher power" concept until he one day felt how much power there was in the meetings and the strength he received from the other members... so he said "I chose to define 'higher power' as what exists in the Al-Anon community, in the Al-Anon meetings -- the strength of the community together" ... and that worked for him. He couldn't imagine anything divine or godly because that all felt like mumbo-jumbo to him -- but he had experienced the power of something unseen that worked in the community.

cagefree

I don't believe "god", but I do believe in a universal justice - that the universe nudges us in the direction we need to go and wants us to be happy.

The universe is my higher power and it works for me. Take what you like, leave the rest.

parentrecovers

my husband is not into formal religion at all. and he loves alanon! he has a reg group that he goes to every week, and he thinks of that group as a whole as his higher power right now.

blessings, k

respektingme

In a recent meeting I attended, a few women had suffered tremendous loss and were having a difficult time not blaming God. Instead, they said they choose to replace the mention of God with their friends, relatives, Alanon meetings, inner voice, etc.

Religion isn't supposed to be a topic of discussion in Alanon, from what I've picked up on. The principles are aimed at taking your eyes off of the alcoholic. To me that means, stop denying that I'm talking to the bottle even when he's not actually drinking, stop listening to his criticisms, realize I don't have to believe what he says and stop allowing my emotions to be based on his emotions. For instance, in the past, he might get resentful over something really stupid. He (apparently not uncommon for alcoholics) gets pissed over some of the most ridiculous crap. So, when he gets mad, he gets quiet and fumes. Well, that used to mean that I instinctively got quiet, got busy cleaning (trying to prove my value I suppose), stayed low key, evaluated my part in pissing him off, etc. Screw that. Just because he can't seem to control his anger issues doesn't mean that I have to go down with him. Now when he gets mad, I just try to keep reminding myself, "That's his sh*t, not mine."

The resentment he feels makes me to mad sometimes. It seems to be prevalent among alcoholics. My AH can resent SO much, about SO many people in his life, about how MUCH he was wronged, etc. WTF???? I'm married to an alcoholic who has 3 kids from a previous marriage and a very controlling mother. I've been on an emotional rollar coaster since we met. Now, though Alanon, I'm seeing why I was so stupid to have allowed myself to follow his lead. Duh!!!!! But resentment?? That takes nerve, or booze. I used to fret over his resentment. He used to hold it over my head. He would tell me the things he resented in me. What horsesh*t!!! His resentment is none of my concern anymore. If he doesn't like it, he can leave. If he can't stop drinking, I'll leave. Anything is better than the psychological bs that drunks play with their spouses.

queenteree

When my RAH was active in his drinking, I too thought that AA and AlAnon were religous and I would have no part of them. My RAH went to a rehab that was based on the fundamentals of AA, learned about the Big Book, 12 steps, etc. When he first arrived there, he told them flat out that he was there "to clear his head" and would not be attending meetings after he left rehab. They told him that's fine, he had to do what he had to do, no pressure. During his stay, he had to attend an AA meeting every night and 2 group sessions every day. Needless to say, now that he's been home almost 2 months, he attends AA meetings and carries the AA spirituality through to our everyday lives. I have since been involved in some AlAnon and some AA. I love the AA/AlAnon way of life, it's philosophies, etc. I am by no means religious (I do believe in God), but it has helped me and RAH beyond words. If you live by the words of the Big Book and all the wisdom it has to offer, and listen, really listen, to the people at AlAnon meetings, I tell you the peace and serenity you will find will be amazing. I do believe that it works if you work it (so work it, you're worth it). Good luck to you.

jillybean

AMEN!!!!!!!!!

I would suggest that any method that speaks to your spiritual needs is appropriate.

Try as many programs as you can find until one feels right for you and take what works for you and let the rest be.

Abf shuns anything religious and vowed never to attend AA. When he was released from treatment he was told that he had to immediately register with an intensive outpatient program. He did not and today more than a year of being mostly dry (a few one night benders) he still has no coping mechanisms that help him live life on life's terms and must be constantly monitored in every aspect of living (employment, health, legal etc) to function on a day to day basis. I found non 12 step programs which he also refused. His choices, but everyone involved in his life pays a price and he lives in a world where denial and fantasy are preferred and us unfun, dark people are his real problems.

I don't think it really matters what program you work, it just matters that you work it. For me, it's reading and posting here as well as one on one counseling with a quailfied counselor who is also trained in addiction issues.

I hope that you find what will help you live the peace and health you want.