vinnie

Hi Everybody,

I have been reading on and off here and been battling my co-dependcy for quite some time.

After finally realizing that there is nobody that can help my AH except himself, I decided to move to my neighbor who is on vacation right now. I am not from the States, meaning I don't have any family here.

My AH has been on a two week binge, has yet again lost job number 10 and is at this point just lying in our bed, which is completely urinated on shouting that he wants a divorce, he hates me bla bla bla. Then his cousin went over there, which happens to be my friend and he yelled at her too. now she tried to get him to leave but he is just lying there either passed out, urinating or yelling. I had a similar situation before and contacted my landlord but you know how trickful alcoholics can be, it didn't work. well, he is on the lease. Does anybody know if i have any other options? I know that he just wants me to cry and try to crawl back to him but that is not happening this time.

Any advise is greatly appreciated and I am glad to have found people that go through the same battle.

respektingme

Yikes. That sounds awful. I would have thought a decent landlord would give you some leniency given the situation. How much longer are you on the lease?

fluffyflea

can you call the police an dhave him taken away?


Earthworm

Barbara52

Are there any conditions that would allow you to break the lease? What are the penalties if you just leave? Is sub-letting your place an option? Have you talked to the landlord about wanting out of the lease and see if there is any way you can work this out?

I feel for you. But you can find a way out if that is what you decide to do. It sounds like you need to explore options right now and work on a plan to get to where you want to be.

laurie6781

Welcome to SR, you have found a great place!!!!

Please check with the nearest Women's Domestic Violence Shelter. They have resources and therapy if needed and they can probably help you.

What you are experiencing is not physical abuse but it is MENTAL and EMOTIONAL ABUSE, please give them a call.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.

Love and hugs,

vinnie

thank you all! yes, that is exactly what it is. mental and emotional abuse. this morning i was all for sudden a nice women again, lots of tears on his behalf and he even called aa. i hate these emotional rollercoasters but don't seem to be able to stop them. now i feel sorry for him again and fantasize how good it all could be not really realizing it probably never will be. does that makes sense? if i could just find the strength to leave.......................

it is almost like i need this abusement in a sick way.

lillamy

Absolutely. I'm glad you're ready to move out and move on, and as a fellow immigrant, I feel for you. It's rough to not have family to turn to when it gets ugly.

Hang in there, stand tall, be proud of yourself, and remember that there is help out there. There really is.

parentrecovers

get out/leave and seek help for yourself. i'm glad you found us. blessings, k

you didn't cause it.
you can't cure it.
you can't control it.

you do have choices on how it affects you, though.

blessings, k

Rella927

All great advice do not know that I can add much more-

If you can talk to the landlord and fill them in on the situation it is possible they will allow you to sublet or break the lease.

If things become out of hand please call the police and it is possible he will be removed if only for a brief time it will allow you to move out/seek shelter whatever the case maybe. What about moving in with his cousin for a short?

Please take care of YOU! so sorry you are going through this-we are here for you!