The "Red Devil"
 

So AH is fighting me that he is "doing better" since he is not drinking 18 beers in a day anymore. He has just resorted to a large/ 1.75L bottle of red wine that usually takes him 1 to sometimes 2 nights after work to finish. It is what I call the "Red Devil." He just uses it to "relax" after a hard days work. I know his job is stressful (law enforcement), but there is not a night that he comes to bed sober anymore. He continues to tell me that I am "not loving and we never have sex anymore." I just can't touch knowing that everynight he has been drinking no matter how small of an amount and then I have to remind him to brush his teeth like a child.

So this morning he asked where his wine was and got mad when he thought I poured it out! How dare him question me after his crazy night of drunken stupor.

i'm sorry. try alanon, it really helps me a lot...

blessings, k

I know what you mean. When I asked AH to explain to me what he gets from chugging vodka and sitting in his recliner like a braindead Archie Bunker, he sighed and closed his eyes. Then he said, "That's what it feels like." And he sighed and let out a deep breath again.

Ohhhhhhh, okay!!! So, his need to feel relaxed is so strong that it is killing him, our marriage and our family. So strong, that he could lose his job.

I have an idea!! I'll become addicted to spas!! I'll go get a hot stone massage every single night for that big sigh, closed eye feeling. I'll rob our family finances until we lose the roof over out family's heads just so I can get that deep muscle tissue massage. I'll come to bed every night wreaking of an overdose of rose, lavender and chamomile oil. I'll have pedicures after every massage and have different colored toe nails every day. And if my AH objects, I'll just lie. I'll make excuses for where I'm going, or get resourceful and have a masseur dress in camoflauge and massage me on the back deck after everyone is asleep.

Because I NEED to relax, and afterall, that is worth destroying the lives of everyone around me. It's 4 for the price of 1.

So damned selfish. I know exactly what you mean. Just so selfish. And the sex thing. That just kills me. Sorry, the glazed over eyes, loose lips, stumbling, slurred words, one syllable words only, stanky smell just does not do much for me!! OH! If he only knew the times he hugged me while drunk and my eyes were rolled back into my skull in disgust.

Can't wait till I've been in Alanon long enough for this weight to be lifted.

Red Devil, huh? I can relate.

I enjoy cooking, so if I wanted an excuse to drink red wine I'd make pizza. Now in my sick mind it's like pizza = huge jug of cheap red wine, and I could justify drinking it because I'm the chef, damnit, and I'm cooking Italian so deal with it. Ex drinks one glass, I guzzle the rest. It usually wasn't enough so I'd have some beer and vodka conveniantly on hand too.

I'm liking the spa ida...... It's so funny because my husband will say it's stress too and so he drinks, and what do I do, do I go to a spa and calm my nervs. No, I just worry or try to feel nothing. I'm thinking we could all use at least one trip to the spa.

HA HA HA...thanks respektingme for the great laugh!!! Wish my AH would even sit still long enough for me to tell him that idea.

O M G!!!!!!!!!

I have an idea!! I'll become addicted to spas!! I'll go get a hot stone massage every single night for that big sigh, closed eye feeling. I'll rob our family finances until we lose the roof over out family's heads just so I can get that deep muscle tissue massage. I'll come to bed every night wreaking of an overdose of rose, lavender and chamomile oil. I'll have pedicures after every massage and have different colored toe nails every day. And if my AH objects, I'll just lie. I'll make excuses for where I'm going, or get resourceful and have a masseur dress in camoflauge and massage me on the back deck after everyone is asleep.

ROFL!!!!! Thank you!