new to this site, daughter is addict
 

My daughter who is 27yrs old is a drug addict, she also sells cocaine to support her own habit. She was arrested a few months ago was in jail a couple of weeks when some one bailed her out, she was out two days and was re-arrested same charges. After serving almost three months she was released on time served. While in jail she was going to meetings, church etc..... and talking about how she was going to change and live a clean life so she could get her two children back. She could have went to a christianed based rehab place when she was released but she chose not to because they are to strict. My husband who is not her father (her father is in rehab for alcohol & drug abuse) offered to pick her up when she was released but she didn't call us (he is 23 yrs sobber). She called and left message the next day that she was staying with a friend. She called me five days later needing a place to spend the night. I asked her what her plans were for the next day, look for a job, go to a meeting, seek help......, she had no plans. While she was in jail I went to visit, wrote her letters, sent cards and put money in her canteen. I told her when she was released I would take her to any meeting and even attend meetings with her but I guess she didn't want to go. (I did not let her spend the night). She has been arrested again for cocain poss. I know in my heart that she chose the path she has taken and only she can change. I will write to her (she doesn't know I know she's back in jail), but I will not accept phone calls it cost $3.00 per phone call for 15 minutes, and I will not send money to her canteen, tough love is so hard and my heart is breaking. I keep thinking I am dealing with this ok but sometimes I'm not so sure.

(((cglass63))) Welcome...glad you are here. I am sorry to hear about your daughter. You sound like you are on the right path for finding your own peace in the midst of this situation. There are others here who know first-hand what you are going thru because their children are also addicts.

I hope you stick around. This place has been a wonderful place for me to vent and get support;I hope you will find the same comfort and help.

cglass, I really understand your pain and what you may be going through. All you can do is keep doing what you are doing. I know how much it hurts with our children and addiction. I found out the hard way.
At the end of the day, you have done all you know how to do and it is now up to her totally. If she really wants the kids back and she really wants a good life she has to make that final decision. As hard as that may be for her, you have to take a step back, a step forward and another step back. Let her know you love her and give her a hug when you see her but do not enable this habit of hers. Sounds like she has plenty of others to do that for her. You are her mum, so set the boundaries and she will know she can always come back to you only for positives.
My son and I have a silent understanding now. Its like we both know what the other thinks or knows and it has balanced somehow.

Addiction is so awful ... I'm so sorry you have to go through this. The road is hard but you are doing the right thing. If she's going to get better it will happen faster if you're not enabling her , as you well know.


(((hugs)))

keep posting! blessings, k

Welcome to SR! There are lots of great people here who have wonderful things to share, and who understand.