Barbara52

Now that more people know I moved out, suddenly people feel free to tell me things about my AH. Things like he used to go to AA meetings before he met me but never took it seriously according to a man who knew him from there, that he has a felony conviction in his past, etc. Too bad these people didn't see fit to give me this information before I married him. It sure would have been nice to have that information since AH was and continues to be a liar. It doesn't really matter at this point of course since I left AH and will be getting a divorce. The fact that he lies is not a surprise at all.

Why is it that people do not tell people they supposedly care for about these things until its well past the time that information was needed?

denny57

I was told, I didn't believe it. I thought people were jealous of me. LOL

respektingme

I wasn't told either. And my mother-in-law KNEW!!!! She hates me. In fact, she had the audacity to blame me for contributing to his drinking early on, because we used to drink together socially. She assumed I knew! Uhhh, nope.

But if she wanted me out of his life, that would have been a great way to do it. She should have told me. I've never liked being around people who are addicted to drugs or booze. I've always seen it as an undesirable attribute.

Barbara52

See I remember specifically asking at lest 2 people whether there was anything I should know about AH and was told "nope." Now of course their story has changed. I was told that they didn't want to interfere.

I would have appreciated the interference. Maybe I wouldn't have listened. I was in love afterall and we all know love makes us stupid. But maybe I would have listened or asked the right questions.

Oh well, water under the bridge.

Mr. Christian

Well most people believe that it is not their place to gossip or talk about things that do not concern them.
So they do not say anything.
I myself try to keep my own side of the street clean.
I know I now am very curious about anyone I meet. I try to find stuff out on my own.

elizabeth1979

It was a number of things in my situation.
First, I try to remember that hindsight is always 20/20 and alot of things people said after the fact, they may not have known before..it just seemed to them, obvious..in hindsight.
Second, I was told alot of things, but didnt want to believe them, minimized them, or just thought the people telling me were exagerating or flat out fabricating.

Then there is the fact that my ex was an excellent con. He had the ability to make anyone believe anything he said. He had a logical explanation for everything. I dont think he is the only alcoholic with the skill set. Its part of the disease, they want people to buy their nonsensical reasoning, so as to not cause conflict with their agenda..drinking.

It affects everyone around, the untrained eye becomes blinded to the alcoholics games and antics. I was believing some pretty radical stuff at the end!

Spiritual Seeker

I was like those three monkeys "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil '
I saw things about my ex that I ignored. The signs were there I just paid no attention. I was a fool in love; it happens to the best + smartest of us.
I am remarried now to an honorable moral man. It is important to learn our lessons so that we don't make the same mistakes...often those lessons come with a price.

GlassPrisoner

People at work never said anything to me about my drinking. When I went a got help, they're like "Oh, I'm so glad ! You were really getting bad...."

I think it's human nature.

Besides, it's not like it's their fault he's that way.

Barbara52

Certainly not anyone's fault but his own.