WhatAboutME

I can't say I'm surprised, and those of you who have followed my story probably aren't either. My AH has been staying with my MIL about 1.5 hours away. He came into town yesterday afternoon for a Doctor's appointment. He had not been drinking for a few days so I agreed to meet him for lunch to give him some mail, etc. He was completely fine at lunch...except for one thing...He mentioned that one of the ceiling fans in his Mother's house was picking up radio frequencies and playing country music. Now I know that sounds crazy, and it is. And when he said it I was barely paying attention and just kind of ignored the comment. Apparently he told his Mother the same thing that morning. Anyway, I left him at 1 PM and talked to him again at 2 PM right before my Doctor's appointment. He was fine, coherent and doing some errands. At 3 PM the calls started. He was erratic, confused and completely paranoid. And at this point, I am 100% sure he was not drinking. I am cursed with the ability to tell right away when he's been drinking, before he even speaks. He was not slurring his words, nothing. At first he told me he was being chased by a car full of men, then he said he was at the garage with my car and they were trying to overcharge him for a brake job, then he said he knew I was with some guy at home, etc. He made no sense, was speaking a hundred miles an hour and strung these thoughts together one right after another. I was obviously worried about him driving, but could not get him to tell me where he was. His Father called me and reported the same crazy conversation with him and that while they were on the phone, my husband started yelling at someone and that the other person started yelling back and then the phone hit the ground and went dead. No more calls from my AH to anyone. I kept calling his cell phone and finally "someone" answered. They said they saw my husband get into a fight with someone and they had found the phone on the ground and if I wanted it back they would need $25!?! OK. At this point I figure he has been beaten up and may be in the hospital. I call the closest one and after being put on hold, redirected, etc. I was finally told that he was in the ER, but they could not release any futher information. I drive to the ER and inquire at the front desk. A few minutes later a police officer comes out to talk to me. Not good. They came upon my husband after he crashed his car into a tree. He told them that he was being chased. The officers said that they did find unopened beer in the car, but that he did not appear to be drunk nor could they smell any alcohol on his breath. They put him in the back of the police car to write the accident report. At this point, he was only going to be ticketed for careless driving, etc. No other cars were involved, thank God. All of a sudden my AH said he needed to get out of the car to help me because he saw me floating on a white raft down the middle of the street. He continued with this type of erratic/paranoid talk and then flipped out. He started kicking and trying to punch his way out of the car. They tried to detain him and continued to kick and punch the officers. They had to taz him. He was taken to the hospital and heavily sedated after threatening to kill the staff. He has been charged with DUI (pending his BAC), resisting arrest and assaulting an officer, both of which are felonies. Beyond seeing him briefly when I first got to the hospital, no one in the family has been able to see him or get a medical update on his condition - including whether this psychotic episode has passed. It's hard to grasp, but he's under custody and they don't have to tell us a thing. His bail was set today at $50,000. He is still in the hospital. He will be transferred to jail when he stabilizes were he will remain until his court date - probably 2 weeks. His parents just shelled out $10,000 to hire an attorney who will try to get the felonies dropped and ask that he be put into a long-term rehab facility based on his history of alcohol abuse (and now mental health issues) in lieu of jail time. I am not surprised by the DUI or crash, but the violence has me floored. In the ten years I have known him, in all that I have seen with his drinking, he has never, ever exhibited any type of verbal or physical abuse. This is unreal. It seems as though he has had some type of mental break or maybe the hallucinations are a result of him withdrawling. His Mother said he had not slept in 4 nights since he last drank.

My heart is broken. Although I am thankful that he may finally get the help that he so desperately needs, my heart aches that he woke up today after being heavily sedated to find himself handcuffed to the bed, under arrest and facing being transported to jail. Alone.

I am in shock. I can hardly believe it has come to this. He is only 34 and has lost everything in less than 6 months. And despite the fact that I had decided to end our marriage before this episode, I want nothing but the best for him in terms of being happy and hopefully sober. I am just devastated. And there is nothing I can do for him. I can't even give him emotional support. No one can right now. He's completely alone, and he brought this on himself. Alcoholism...it baffles me. It's path of destruction is stunning.

I am beyond sad right now. I feel like someone has kicked me in the stomach.

Barbara52

Wow. I'm sorry you have to go thru this, that he has to go thru this. I hope he will get the cares he needs and decides to help himself once he's able to be rational.

LGLG07

((whataboutme)) I am soooo sorry to read this .. OMG , how horrible for you to have to go through . It is so baffling . Could he have been using some kind of drugs in place of drinking over the past few days ? Or maybe he was detoxing . I hear sometimes they have hallucinations while detoxing . Either way its just awful .

I truly hope and pray that he gets the medical and/or mental health attention that he needs . And I pray for you as well . Take care of yourself during this time .

(())S
M

dollydo

So sad to see what the progression of the disease can lead to.

All you can do is hope that he will get the help he so desperately needs, yet, he will never be 100% right again.

I am so sorry for him.

WhatAboutME

Just found out that his blood work showed no drugs in his system and his BAC was .261. I'm sure the alcohol only exaggerated the paranoia/confusion he had been experiencing. It's just unbelievable. Again, I am most shocked by the violence.

denny57

Effects of blood alcohol content on thinking, feeling and behavior:
Now that you know how to calculate BAC, see how alcohol affects your body at different levels.

0.02 - 0.03 Legal definition of intoxication in R.I. for people under 21 years of age. Few obvious effects; slight intensification of mood.

0.05 - 0.06 Feeling of warmth, relaxation, mild sedation; exaggeration of emotion and behavior; slight decrease in reaction time and in fine-muscle coordination; impaired judgment about continued drinking.

0.07 - 0.09 More noticeable speech impairment and disturbance of balance; impaired motor coordination, hearing and vision; feeling of elation or depression; increased confidence; may not recognize impairment.

0.08 Legal definition of intoxication in R.I. for people 21 years and older.

0.11 - 0.12 Coordination and balance becoming difficult; distinct impairment of mental faculties and judgment.

0.14 - 0.15 Major impairment of mental and physical control; slurred speech, blurred vision and lack of motor skills; needs medical evaluation.

0.20 Loss of motor control; must have assistance moving about; mental confusion; needs medical assistance.

0.30 Severe intoxication; minimum conscious control of mind and body; needs hospitalization.

0.30 - 0.60 This level of alcohol has been measured in people who have died of alcohol intoxication.

0.40 Unconsciousness; coma; needs hospitalization.

MsGolightly

WAM, i'm so sorry about all of this. i couldn't even imagine going through this myself.

at least he will be safe and free of alcohol while in the hospital and jail, and will have medical supervision who can watch these symptoms and determine the appropriate path for him.

again, i'm so sorry you're going through this. it's just devastating to watch someone self-destruct like this... especially someone you love and care greatly about.

FormerDoormat

I noticed similar episodes with Richard when he was going through medically supervised alcohol detox. My normally placid and agreeable man suffered from confusion and hallucinations and became beligerant and violent to the staff. He had to be sedated and tied to the bed for a week each time (he went through detox three times). When he awoke, he had no memory of the episodes. If your husband is attempting to detox on his own, this could explain his bizarre behavior. If this is proven to be the case, perhaps the judge will drop the criminal charges and order him into rehab.

It is heartbreaking to watch your loved one fall apart like this, and I feel for you. But the best thing you can do for yourself and your husband is to back away from the drama and let him get himself out of this mess.

laurie6781

Mental Health Issues, my azz. He was detoxing. I went into seizures, craving more alcohol at .38........................................he was having DTs.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

best

his BAC was .261.

The officers said that they did find unopened beer in the car, but that he did not appear to be drunk nor could they smell any alcohol on his breath.

or maybe the hallucinations are a result of him withdrawling.


His BAC was .261 and depending on how much he drinks... that could be his norm before adding any alcohol for the day.

Enough things don't seem to line up and his lawyer could take it all and get him off if he does things right or wrong how ever you want to look at it.

Where you say this is not a normal behavior for him...maybe it has nothing to do with the alcohol. An injury from the car accident or the beginnings of a stroke...or maybe you are just seeing a side of him that has always been there but never let out for you to see till now.

best

I would change that to...see how alcohol affects a normally non-drinker at different levels.

steve11694

one of the hallmarks instilled unto any ED physician during training is to NEVER simply assume the behavior of an intoxicated person is solely due to the substance. Alcoholics as they tend to stumble and fall are prone to traumatic bleeding (sub dural hematomae)


My heart goes out to both of you and your families.

Pick-a-name

Sounds like some of the things my sister said when she was going thru W/D; esp. after a day or two. (She had "people chasing her","snipers",etc and saw and "talked to" different people)

Actually,there is an explaination of this (assuming it was caused by a period of NOT drinking,in "Under the Influence") Glad he is in a medical setting.

Good luck in all this and I am glad that you are not living in the same physical setting as he is right now.

DesertEyes

Hello there WhatAbout,

I'm so sorry to hear what has happened, know that I am praying for you and for your husband.

I tried to detox myself and had very similar hallucinations. I would have become violent had I not been terribly weakened by lack of food. I hallucinated all sorts of crazy things, and I remember it quite vividly.

The good news is that those DT's were my "bottom", and the beginning of my life in recovery. God willing, this may be the best thing to happen to your husband. It certainly was for me. He is going to be forced to attend a recovery program, and there is going to be significant pressure on him to give it his full attention.

I will be going to some meets of AA this weekend, and I'll keep your husband in mind when we pray for the alcoholic who still suffers. We'll pray for you too, as I know you are in great pain.

Know that all of us here on SR, and all of us in meetings all over the world are praying for both of you.

Mike

GlassPrisoner

I had aural hallucinations during withdraw almost exactly like what you describe. It was like there was an AM radio somewhere in the house with a talk show going on, but I couldn't make out the words. It really sounds like DTs. He's probably lying about the last time he drank (surprise)

Yup. I would "function" "normally" at .2 something (or above) at the end. When I was arrested for being drunk in public (.28) , I passed the field sobriety test. Then, they gave me the breathalyser, twice. Both times he looked at me, the results, and back at me, like "this can't be right, you should be passed out !"

I'm sorry you're both going through this. Hopefully, it will be enough to give him the willingness he needs to quit.

In the meantime, listen to the advice given you by the peeps here at F & F, and get yourself some recovery.

Pick-a-name

Reminds me of the scene from "Requiem for a Dream "...

Taking5

Definately sounds like DTs to me.

He could have gone a couple of days without drinking and still have a BAC of .261 if his liver is going. No alcohol odor would be right too in that case it would just be in his blood.

embraced2000

oh wow. this just happened to my xh about two weeks ago. he hit the same car twice in a parking lot. blew zero on the breathalyzer two times, and then a third time, just too make sure.

he was confused, dazed, couldn't put two words together. had soiled himself, and was just acting and looking very badly.

they did a bac and it was clean. they tested him for drugs and the only drug he had in his system was a prescribed one within therapeutic range.

he was severly dehydrated and was experiencing psychois. he was put into a behavioral unit and is going to the state hospital as soon as a bed becomes available.

he finally had one drinking binge too many.

i do know that severe dehydration can cause really weird symptoms.....

i'm so sorry that you are experiencing this.....it is heartbreaking to see our loved ones fade away in such a blaze of hells flames.

Seeking Wisdom

Your husband's behavior sounds like severe withdrawal symptoms... especially if he had not been drinking for several days as that is when these types of serious symptoms can emerge. One time when my husband started to experience hallucinations, I took him to the ER and once they knew his history with alcohol, they immediately started treating him for alcohol withdrawal and explained it was a potentially serious and dangerous situation.

I hope those treating your husband at the hospital realized the dangerous situation he could have been in. It is possible he had just started drinking just prior to his arrest to self medicate his symptoms.

When my husband passed away while in jail, he had been experiencing bizarre, strange and somewhat violent behavior probably due to alcohol withdrawal just prior to his death ... and it is inexcusable that the jail and their medical staff were not trained to recognize symptoms of alcohol withdrawal since it is fairly common for alcoholics to be jailed due to DUI's ... I would certainly hope that a hospital and police dept. were trained well enough to realize this possibility with your husband as well as the consequences of not being treated can be deadly.

Mr. Christian

Wow, sounds like the eve of destruction.


Even though it is sad it really comes at no surprise.
If they do not get help one of two things will happen, death or madness.

My ex was seeing things also at times. Ghosts were real big on her list and talking trees.
I can’t figure that one out for the life of me.

You really should not be shocked by the violence either. Alcohol breaks down those inhibitions,
so anything can happen.