"I can't believe they don't have any alcohol here"
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Join Date: May 2007
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"I can't believe they don't have any alcohol here"
Just one to share...
Recently AW and I attended a social event...the type of which there is often free flowing alcohol readily availalbe. However at this particular event, they had none. As we waited for the thing to start, AW is scanning the entire room and saying "I don't see any alcohol here...." To which I responded, "I think you can make it for three or four hours" Which was obviously met with a disapproving look and some snide remark that leaves me.
I'd never really noticed it before but she really does scope out where the alcohol is...and the more I got to thinking about it, the more I realized we never go anywhere that there isn't alcohol for sale or for free....and I bet we wouldn't have gone to this event if she'd known.
Recently AW and I attended a social event...the type of which there is often free flowing alcohol readily availalbe. However at this particular event, they had none. As we waited for the thing to start, AW is scanning the entire room and saying "I don't see any alcohol here...." To which I responded, "I think you can make it for three or four hours" Which was obviously met with a disapproving look and some snide remark that leaves me.
I'd never really noticed it before but she really does scope out where the alcohol is...and the more I got to thinking about it, the more I realized we never go anywhere that there isn't alcohol for sale or for free....and I bet we wouldn't have gone to this event if she'd known.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
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I can relate. I sought out events and activities that offered alcohol. Cheap was good, free was heaven. When we're active we desire it, crave it, and will go to any lengths to get it.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
the one time this struck me with my ex was when we went bowling, and after paying and getting our shoes, she immediately went over to the bar for a beer. upon seeing my disgust, she did throw it out, but i was so amazed that the bar was the first place she walked to.
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 157
ya i remember taking my ex out with my 2 best friends...we went to classy restaurant...ate nice food (not what he was used to!).... ofcourse he just couldnt resist the WINE.... but then he needed to keep the buzz going...we were supposed to go bowling (quiet night) we ended up going clubbing...ha.
BUTTTTT i should add (and i am happy for him about this..for those who know my story) When we were on vacation... we were staying at a all inclusive five star resort... there was a mini bar in each hotel room, to make ur own drinks...a fully stocked mini fridge.....all access..it was included, also bars on each floor, the lobby, each pool, swim up bars, beach bar, beach BAR service, waiters waited on u 24/7 offering u drinks...any drink u wanted... anytime of the day ALL INCLUSIVE! ...we also went to clubs where we paid 1 cover and it was open bar all night....and he did not touch not even 1 drink! and everything i handed him he asked me "Is there alcohol in this?" I was so impressed... I still cant believe it!
Being on a 5 star resort in Cancun Mexico for 7 days ...that is the TRUE test for any addict!
He quit drinking before we went away...and I guess that proved he was/is...serious?! .... does it not?
BUTTTTT i should add (and i am happy for him about this..for those who know my story) When we were on vacation... we were staying at a all inclusive five star resort... there was a mini bar in each hotel room, to make ur own drinks...a fully stocked mini fridge.....all access..it was included, also bars on each floor, the lobby, each pool, swim up bars, beach bar, beach BAR service, waiters waited on u 24/7 offering u drinks...any drink u wanted... anytime of the day ALL INCLUSIVE! ...we also went to clubs where we paid 1 cover and it was open bar all night....and he did not touch not even 1 drink! and everything i handed him he asked me "Is there alcohol in this?" I was so impressed... I still cant believe it!
Being on a 5 star resort in Cancun Mexico for 7 days ...that is the TRUE test for any addict!
He quit drinking before we went away...and I guess that proved he was/is...serious?! .... does it not?
Last edited by pineapple2007; 07-26-2007 at 05:24 PM. Reason: typo!
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 157
ya embarrassing. i understand. I was pretty tight knit with all his friends (they were not really friends though because they drink with him, not to his extent he did...but they also poke fun at his drunken behaviour, he was the type that would do really weird things, he was the laughing stock to his "friends"...they just kno him as a DRUNK!
and when we would all hang out i would feel like they were thinking "what is SHE doing with HIM!" same time they were happy for him...but it was ...embarrassing just a bit at times... but hes so damn loveable! ah. i miss himmmmmmm....URG!
sorry i went off topic...so sorry soory sorry!
just letting u know... i know that feeling of embarrassment -where u want to just put a bag over ur head!!!!!!!
and when we would all hang out i would feel like they were thinking "what is SHE doing with HIM!" same time they were happy for him...but it was ...embarrassing just a bit at times... but hes so damn loveable! ah. i miss himmmmmmm....URG!
sorry i went off topic...so sorry soory sorry!
just letting u know... i know that feeling of embarrassment -where u want to just put a bag over ur head!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ashamed ville
Posts: 311
Usually my AH who is out of the house right now drank by himself. Whether is is home or if we were at a friends house. Most of our friends don't drink. They might have one beer. Two tops once in a while. I would get embarrassed when he would continue to drink and get trashed then the drunk AH kicks in and total jerk to me. Eventually I still stood proud and realized that this isn't my problem I just married one!!!!!
I Finally Love My Life!!!
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
My XABF once threw a temper tantrum while we were on vacation because:
1. He had no O'Douls
2. Someone was going to the store to get food and supplies not offerred in the cabins in the middle of nowhere
3. He had lost his license due to his 2nd DUI and I refused to cancel our previous plans of swimming in the lake in order to drive to the little country store to get it for him.
4. Because I got angry he was cancelling plans for a beverage's sake.
This is O'Douls folks...granted going through 10 bottles of the stuff in a day was easy for him, but still...O'douls...is there anything worse tasting?
1. He had no O'Douls
2. Someone was going to the store to get food and supplies not offerred in the cabins in the middle of nowhere
3. He had lost his license due to his 2nd DUI and I refused to cancel our previous plans of swimming in the lake in order to drive to the little country store to get it for him.
4. Because I got angry he was cancelling plans for a beverage's sake.
This is O'Douls folks...granted going through 10 bottles of the stuff in a day was easy for him, but still...O'douls...is there anything worse tasting?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 105
AskingWhy - I remember those days when AH and I would attend some family or social gathering / event. It took me a long time to fully realize that the availability of alcohol controlled where we went, how long we stayed, and what we did once we got there. It was hell to live like that.
~ghm
~ghm
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
wonder why it took me so long to figure out we never went out to eat unless they had alcohol?????? duhhhh!!!! we lived in the sticks and he would drive 60 miles to eat at a restaurant that served alcohol, but never at the local restaurant that was dry.
he always made went on and on about how he was treating me to something special. i bought it, too.
can you imagine what it would be like to plan your entire schedule around the issue whether alcohol was available or not?
well, i kinda, sorta can......cause now, at my advancing age, i have to schedule everything around where i know where the restrooms are. that's the first thing i look for everywhere i go.......just in case, ya know.
he always made went on and on about how he was treating me to something special. i bought it, too.
can you imagine what it would be like to plan your entire schedule around the issue whether alcohol was available or not?
well, i kinda, sorta can......cause now, at my advancing age, i have to schedule everything around where i know where the restrooms are. that's the first thing i look for everywhere i go.......just in case, ya know.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: To the East
Posts: 81
OH BOY does this one sound familiar, I would never go to any restaurant that didn't have a liquor liscense or anywhere to a function or gathering that didn't have alcohol. NEVER. I would never go to a movie, because when I was drinking, I had to keep drinking, couldn't go the 2 hours without it during the evening. I hated it when I had to go to a school function for my niece, I sweated it out during recitals, I was miserable. I had social anxiety and still do some 20 years now without a drink.(althought it is much much better now) I would go a week stressing about a non-alcohol social event when I was drinking and then last moment cancel. I used to cancel all the time. I can relate to her.
It is so good that you are here and seeing these things about your AW behavior. It is so common. For me it was my low self esteem and self loathing, I thought no one noticed any of these things. HA!
Keep coming and sharing, my AH is a closet drinker, hides it from everyone, he thinks no one in the family knows...we all know. He is just too drunk now to go anywhere and do anything with anyone - ever.
I feel for you, it is so hard isn't it?
L
It is so good that you are here and seeing these things about your AW behavior. It is so common. For me it was my low self esteem and self loathing, I thought no one noticed any of these things. HA!
Keep coming and sharing, my AH is a closet drinker, hides it from everyone, he thinks no one in the family knows...we all know. He is just too drunk now to go anywhere and do anything with anyone - ever.
I feel for you, it is so hard isn't it?
L
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Now they have bars in movie theaters! This past New Year's I resolved to give up drinking. Thought that by taking the kids to the movie's on that night, I'd be safe ha ha..then I discovered the bar there! Course, I had to have a couple glasses of wine before the film started..
I really relate to this post...I hated dry events!
Karen
I really relate to this post...I hated dry events!
Karen
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
can you imagine what it would be like to plan your entire schedule around the issue whether alcohol was available or not?
I've snuck it into movie theaters and other places. When we got somewhere, I'd always have to "go to the bathroom" when we got there.
And yes, my whole life revolved around where and when the next drink would be. At the end, if I was caught without booze, I'd withdraw in public and/or in rather embarrasing situations. I started to WD once at a JC Penney supplier conference. All the big boys were there. Johnston & Johnston, Levi Strauss, Max Factor.....Another time I was caught in the car with my daughters driving back from Vegas. That was the longest 6 hours of my life.....
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 523
I remember on one occassion going to the pub with xab to watch a game of football and he didnt have much money and as always I pleaded poverty. He took a ruck sack full of cans of beer cos it was cheaper. i was so embaressed, but he didnt flinch, which got me thinking he used to do this on a regular basis.
He also used to hate eating during a drinking session, he would go for days not eating, cheaper again i suppose cos he got drunk quicker.
His weekly shopping bill would be £7.00 and his drinking bill £190.00, scary.
M x
He also used to hate eating during a drinking session, he would go for days not eating, cheaper again i suppose cos he got drunk quicker.
His weekly shopping bill would be £7.00 and his drinking bill £190.00, scary.
M x
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Im impressed that they went anywhere. My AH is content to go home with a bottle and talk on the phone all night while taking shots. We do nothing together and if he goes out its only with other heavy drinkers, because "They know how to have fun."
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: somewhere, some state
Posts: 48
My ex used to do this, always scope out alcohol. For my college graduation he got us a nice hotel room. After we came back from dinner with my family after the graduation, I wanted to walk around. He gets bored, and we find the nearest liquor store, and then we stay inside and watch cable movies. Bah!
Also, my old roommates were a bunch of girls who didn't really drink...we just kept around some liquor from occasional parties we would have that we wouldn't otherwise touch. Well, my ex would come to visit me, and he drank half our supply in a weekend. I was so embarrased when my roommates asked what had happened to our alcohol next time we had a party
Also, my old roommates were a bunch of girls who didn't really drink...we just kept around some liquor from occasional parties we would have that we wouldn't otherwise touch. Well, my ex would come to visit me, and he drank half our supply in a weekend. I was so embarrased when my roommates asked what had happened to our alcohol next time we had a party
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
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I remember my exAH taking me to Baltimore where we stayed in a swanky suite and the Sheraton Inner Harbor Hotel. It was a gorgeous room with a view overlooking the water. What did he do when got there? Go to the National Aquarium? Go to the Science Center to watch some fabulous nature film in the IMAX theatre? Decide we should walk around and enjoy the gorgeous springtime weather at the Inner Harbor Shops? Visit Fort McHenry, where Francis Scott Key wrote our national anthem? Nope. He pulled out a jumbo bottle of Canadian Club whisky, dumped some cubes in a glass, and proceeded to watch t.v. and sip his booze.
He also did this when we went to Ocean City, Maryland. It was a gorgeous summer day, and by 2 p.m. he finally showed up on the beach. He'd been in our room half the day "watching a movie." Yeah, right ....
He was a social creature, however, and was not home that much, preferring to play golf with his booze-hound buddies or practically live in his favorite bar with the other drunks.
I certainly preferred that to the AH I have now who NEVER leaves the house, but just isolates and staggers around here. Gee, I'm beginning to miss the first AH - LOL!!!!
He also did this when we went to Ocean City, Maryland. It was a gorgeous summer day, and by 2 p.m. he finally showed up on the beach. He'd been in our room half the day "watching a movie." Yeah, right ....
He was a social creature, however, and was not home that much, preferring to play golf with his booze-hound buddies or practically live in his favorite bar with the other drunks.
I certainly preferred that to the AH I have now who NEVER leaves the house, but just isolates and staggers around here. Gee, I'm beginning to miss the first AH - LOL!!!!
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Originally Posted by prodigal 
I remember my exAH taking me to Baltimore where we stayed in a swanky suite and the Sheraton Inner Harbor Hotel. It was a gorgeous room with a view overlooking the water. What did he do when got there? Go to the National Aquarium? Go to the Science Center to watch some fabulous nature film in the IMAX theatre? Decide we should walk around and enjoy the gorgeous springtime weather at the Inner Harbor Shops? Visit Fort McHenry, where Francis Scott Key wrote our national anthem? Nope. He pulled out a jumbo bottle of Canadian Club whisky, dumped some cubes in a glass, and proceeded to watch t.v. and sip his booze.
He also did this when we went to Ocean City, Maryland. It was a gorgeous summer day, and by 2 p.m. he finally showed up on the beach. He'd been in our room half the day "watching a movie." Yeah, right ....
He was a social creature, however, and was not home that much, preferring to play golf with his booze-hound buddies or practically live in his favorite bar with the other drunks.
I certainly preferred that to the AH I have now who NEVER leaves the house, but just isolates and staggers around here. Gee, I'm beginning to miss the first AH - LOL!!!!
He also did this when we went to Ocean City, Maryland. It was a gorgeous summer day, and by 2 p.m. he finally showed up on the beach. He'd been in our room half the day "watching a movie." Yeah, right ....
He was a social creature, however, and was not home that much, preferring to play golf with his booze-hound buddies or practically live in his favorite bar with the other drunks.
I certainly preferred that to the AH I have now who NEVER leaves the house, but just isolates and staggers around here. Gee, I'm beginning to miss the first AH - LOL!!!!
Wow, what a mind boggling example of the lesser of 2 evils, or different evils. Perhaps you deserve a chance to compare that with a non addict happy fun loving person?
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