Tiredofthismess

My AH went on a last hurrah with his oxy, ativan, and vodka. I doubt it will be his last hurrah with the vodka, but his pain dr will no longer give him Oxy and ativan. He was supposed to be tapering at a low dose, but it appears that he took it all at once instead.

It started Wednesday afternoon when I found him in the basement on the floor picking up pills that he had spilled all over the place. He was clearly intoxicated and wayyyy out there. He got in the shower a few mins later and I came back to see if all of his pills had been picked up....they had not. The dogs were eating them! They were ativan and some other drug I'm not sure of! I took the kids and went to a hotel.

Came back Thursday morning, and he was in the house walking aimlessly EVERYWHERE looking for something?? His behavior was very strange. He was wobbily, speech slurred, eyes pinpoint, eniberated. He went up to my bedroom, locked himself in and was going through my underwear drawer? I broke in and asked what he was doing? He didn't know...

By this time I had a call into his pain specialist and was waiting for a return call back. When she called she told me to call 911.

The next thing I know...he is locked IN the garage and from what I could see he was looking to be crushing something between a pair of pliers. My son got my keys and I opened the door, and whatever he was trying to crush flew out from between the pliers. We think it was a pill, but still have yet to find it. There was also a straw next to him. I think he has been snorting this stuff for a long time. I am sick about this! He is so sick. Sicker than I ever though. So he was still sitting there with the pliers in his hand and he was making no sense at all with his words.

Long story short...police came, he was taken to detox. He hit someone at detox, got out of there when they took him to the hospital to have his arm looked at(he broke it somehow), and instead of getting treatment, he left the hospital, got a cab and came home. He broke into the house just as I was pulling into the driveway at 9 pm from a trip to the store with my kids. I called the police, they came, said that there was a warrant for him in MN(we border MN and that is where he was at detox), but since we live in WI and he was now in WI, there was nothing that they could do. He was refusing to go back to detox. Still VERY intoxicated. How could he still be so high/drunk for so long?? I mean...he was picked up at noon, and at 9 pm he was STILL messed up.

So anyway...they brought him over to his parents home. I refused to let him stay here. His parents hate me...they think everything is my fault. They are in such denial it is sickening.

So this morning AH calls and talks to my 15 yr old son and he asks..."what happened?", and my son tells him everything. AH had NO IDEA what he had done/occured! Not one memory of it! So then he asks to talk to me...he tried to get me to allow him back home. I stood my ground and told him NO! The police told me to get a restraining order placed because he is a danger to me, the kids, and himself. They told me that it is abusive. I did not realize this! But, yes, and it is neglect too!

He came home to get his truck and some clothes, and when he did, he was mad at me and told me that he's leaving and never coming back. He said he doesn't want me, the kids, the dogs, or the house...."you can have it all, I'm sick and tired of this crap". He is still VERY doped up and not himself. He was confused and walking funny too.

So, he just called me about 20 mins ago asking if I found any of his oxy? He said he was "supposed to titrate off" of it. I, along with my BIL and SIL scoured the basement for pills because I was afraid of my small children getting a hold of them. He has been so wreckless with his meds! We found a ton of empties script bottles and a bunch of empty vodka bottles hidden. When he hung up he said he was afraid he was going to have a seizure. I told him then he'd better get to detox.

I am a mess. I feel like my world is crumbling.

Pick-a-name

(((~Kelly~)))

Barbara52

I'm so sorry you and your kids are going thru all this. {hugs}

Its going to be difficult as you move forward but the most important thing for right now is that he is out of the house and you and the kids are safe. Do get the restraining order and do report all violations of it once you have it. You need to think about yourself and those kids first.

parentrecovers

it's just so much chaos. hold your ground, and keep you and your children safe. blessings, k

sthrnraizd

Oh god Kelly, I have no words to help you. I am soooo sorry you are dealing with this. And I thought my last night was bad. This puts me in my place. I will pray for peace in your house and soul and that of your kids. Thats all I know that works!

Stay strong and make sure you have your support folks close at hand!

denny57

(((kelly)))

denny57

It can also serve as a glimpse of another possible scenario 20 years down the road. I spent many years thinking only of how grand it would be if he got sober; I did not spend enough time thinking about what life would be like if he didn't. When making decisions for my life, I have learned now to consider all possible outcomes, not just the ones I hope for. It keeps me in reality.

Sorry for h/j.

an'ka

One day at a time, Kelly. I was so relieved when you said you took the kids to the hotel the night your found him wondering aimlessly. Even if your AH has never been an abusive man, there is no telling what one might do under the influence of so many drugs and alcohol! In fact, even now that he is out of the house, I think you should take whatever precautions necessary becasue you are still not safe. He could come back at any time and not remember a thing he did. I am so sorry you have to go through this with the kids. ((((Kelly))))

ladyjane

(((Kelly)))
You did good.
________________
Trish

LGLG07

(((Kelly)))

I could have written that myself !
Keep putting you and your kids first .. so sorry you have to go through this , something really great must be waiting for you when this is all over