veryregretful

Today I have a task that I think will help me forget the really bad times and if and when AH comes over will help him not have the reminder of the vicious cycle of his drinking if he stops drinking. I'm going to bring back all the empties that I have in the house. Basement, porch anywhere else I can find. I will then put the money in an envelope and give it to him. Not tell him where it came from but just give it to him. I don't exactly need the money but since the money comes from all of his drinking it really belongs to him. He payed for the beers.

Rella927

Did he pay for it with his own money that he earned? Or money that you both earned?

I would keep the money for yourself and go buy yourself something nice or treat yourself to a manicure/pedicure! Do something for YOU! He made his choices so why reward him with the money from what created this vicious cycle! Think about you now! YOU YOU YOU

Just MHO!

veryregretful

I did buy myself something the night before I told him to leave. I went in and bought one of those front loading washer and dryers. It's coming on Saturday. I have a year to pay for it so I did that for myself.

As for the money from all the empties, I caved and called him and it wasn't that pretty so my mind may changed by the time I bring them all back.

When you are in so much turmoil your mind is very hard to keep straight.

Barbara52

I'd keep the money, spend it on the kids, hold onto it. But then I'm looking at why should AH benefit in anyway from his drinking.

Rella927

I agree with Barbara- spend it on the kids then!

So what are you going to do about it to get out of the turmoil?

embraced2000

i would keep the money. he will only pi$$ it down the drain by drinking it up.

it will benefit your children much more than him.

jmho

queenteree

I would keep the money and get the kids something with it. The first time I put my RAH out of the house and he went to rehab (when my kids were little), I cashed in all the empties and saved the money. And I know this is soooo bad to do, but he had a little stash that he hid somewhere (I had no money at the time, just started a job) and forgot about, well while packing his things, I found it and bought the kids new bikes with it. They were soooo happy and I figured they deserved it after what we all went thru with him.

hadenoughnow

I would take the money and spend it on the kids

Pick-a-name

I'd keep the $ in a "mad-$ fund"....when the time comes,you'll know how to use it. Until then, for me it would be a reminder to keep me moving forward. Think of it as "seed money" for your new way of living.

Might as well have some positive return on the a little of the money blown on alcohol!

Take care of yourself and enjoy the time with your kids!

ARealLady

If the money was so important to HIM, you'd think he would have taken all the empties back himself! You worked to collect up those bottles, load them into the car, drive them to the recycling point, unload them and collect the money. Returning the money to him after all your work seems like more enabling.

Keep the money and treat yourself to something special JUST FOR YOU! You deserve it!

ARL

Pick-a-name

I agree.... and reading this reminded me of the story of "The Little Red Hen"! We all know how that story ended!

Live

Real lady, my thoughts exactly.!

denny57

I'd examine my motives. What feeling or outcome would I be hoping to get out of doing that - turning over money to an alcoholic off the recycling of his empties, and never telling him the big secret of where it came from? I try to always turn it back to me - otherwise I get sidetracked by the dramas, including the ones I create.

Try to be nice to yourself. JMHO

veryregretful

I've thought about it and I'll get the kids some dinner tonight.

kglast

good for you