Going to extremes
 

Im sat here its 10.30pm here in rainy Wales, and ive decided to write a list of the silly and sometimes naughty things i used to do to stop my xab from drinking. I'll give you a few examples

I used to change the time on all the clocks in the house i.e if he'd been drinking in the afternoon and had gone to sleep it off for the evening session, he'd wake up at say 8pm but all the clocks in house would say 10.30, thanks to me.

I have pretended to have a bad stomach ache, so weve had to go home early.

(this is a bad one) ive taken his cash card from his wallet and hidden it I did this on a saturday afternoon so he couldnt get cash out from the bank. On monday morning i put it back

Hi Mair, I have family that I visit yearly in Pwllheli
Sounds like you have figured out codie behav to make it easier.
It is a struggle for all of us loving an addict/alkie. We all just do the best we can.

I havent finished i pressed the wrong button on this computer!!!! anway the list goes on and on, i am so embaressed. But it just goes to show how the codie mind works i suppose. A lot of time and effort went into all these sabotages (sorry terrible spelling, Welsh first language) no wonder i was worn out. Im hoping im not alone here????

M x

Pwllheli is lovely im on Anglesey about an hour away. And your so right it is a constant struggle loving an addict/alkie.

M x

You are sooooooooo not alone!
Hmmm......I would pretend to have ordered him the next drink he requested before he went to the restroom and try to get him out the door before he realized it.

But I would also use other weird manipulations to try to control his behavior or its effect on me. For example, I would try to stay up just late enough to get him to pass out on the couch instead of in bed with me. I would use niceness to manipulate situations in times where I should have just walked away, such as when he would be insistent on driving, I would say, "AH, it's not that I don't think you can drive us. I know you're okay to drive, but you know how these cops are....any hint of alcohol, and they'll get you. So I know you're fine, but just let me drive?" I should have not been there in the first place, but I would use my backwards way of manipulating him. Come to think of it, that probably screwed up his thinking even more.

I have more....let me think. :)

I would put water in the vodka bottle, apparently I was 'found out' when he put the bottle in the freezer....DUH!!

I would call the bar he hung out at and tell them he was drunk when he got there and shouldn't be served any more alcohol...(I had to make amends to the bar maid as she got in trouble for serving him)....

I would 'hide money' so he couldn't rip me off while rummaging through my wallet while I was sleeping....

I know there's more things I'm guilty of doing...perhaps I'm blocking because I'm too embarrassed????

I bought one of those alcohol testers that you blow in and would make him blow when I suspected he was drinking.

I used to find his water bottles (what a hassle for him to have to pour his vodka into the water bottles, then ditch the vodka bottle) and dilute the vodka with water.

I can't count the number of times we've gone to dinner and I haven't ordered a drink when I wanted one because I might tempt him.

I've taken his car to the grocery store just so I could rummage through his trunk and find booze. He usually kept it in his golf bag.

I asked his friend not have have booze ready for us when we came to visit. He found out and BOY was he pissed that I blew his anonymity.

Mair!!!

Would you believe that we have our boat in Holyhead Marina?! In fact, my Dad's there right now, so give him a wave.

Unfortunately, I'm only going to be making one more flying visit before we take her to Spain in a few weeks - it would have been so great to meet up.

Yeah, I did tons of things to manipulate R's drinking. Some so subtle that I am still learning how.

Small world Minnie!!!!! Definately get in touch if your in the area my mother lives in Holyhead. Im on the roof of the house waving to your dad lol xx

M x

I would get drunk so he'd drink less and take care of me. You know it actually worked most of the time

Nice move Cinders!!!!!! Mine would hate it if i drank and when i did it would be world war 3 and i wouldnt hear the last of it for weeks!!

M x

Sometimes I have pretended to be asleep to keep from going out with him, sometimes I realy was asleep because I was so worn out from his antics.

I used to get in the car and go looking for him if he was out too long or if we had been in a fight. I felt like I had too. (I stopped doing that years ago)

I have lied through my teath about stuff to keep the waters calm or to get him to do or not do something but mostly to keep the waters calm.

I tried the getting drunk part but he just got drunk too and still expected me to drive. He would get totaly Pi**ed if I told him I couldn't drive.

Heh, heh. I'll ask him if he saw you!

I'll PM you next week - I'm going over the following weekend. Maybe we can get together for a coffee?

An I gonna challenging the record for most SR people met IRL? I'm up to 12 so far, I think. Although most don't post anymore. I hope there's no connection!

same here Lost, i would always end up driving so another trick i had was i would make sure that if i had to go out with him i would choose somewhere really far away in the middle of nowhere that would take a good hour to get to. In my codie head it made sense two hours of no drinking. The hours drive there was always lovely i would have my normal darling man; on the way back i'd find mr jeckyll sat next to me.

M x

Minnie that would be lovely!!!!!!i'm so glad you said coffee lol

Mx

i'd take the battery out of our cars so my daughter couldn't leave in them..

Just be careful. "A coffee" with Minnie turns into 10 hours. There was cheesecake in there, though, so no complaining really LOL. :tongue:

I never intentionally got drunk so he wouldn't drink. He'd probably love it. But when we were first together, we used to take turns being the designated driver. That didn't work very well. He was NEVER sober on his turn, and I drove when I shouldn't have. I should have made him call us a cab.

I think at some point all of us have done things to manipulate/control our A's drinking. I put my husband in jail. I wanted someone other then me to tell him that he had a problem. Jail worked for a few days, but then he was back to saying he is not a drunk....and the AODA guy basically confirmed to him that he didnt have a problem by saying he was just abusing alcohol.

Now we are back to the battle...but someday he will wake up.

I just have to say that I love this forum. I dont think I could make it through the hard times without knowing that there are people out there who know and understand what I go through every single day...and yet allow me to vent, cry and moan without added pressure to make a move.