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I was never allowed anger growing up. It was "ugly". By the time I was about 30, I didn't even know what I felt was anger, needless to say, not a clue about expressing it.

I used to journal alot. But I find now I need to get it out more than that.

Lately I have been saying and wishing some really rotten things on the person I am angry about. I don't feel bad about that....it doesn't cause them any harm and if any of the things I wish on them should ever occur, that is coincidence and is called wishful thinking and is not based in reality. It gets it out and then I get over it pretty quick and forget about it. It releases it. My therapist tried to get me to hit a pillow at first and I couldn't even do that! LOL

Then I was with an alcoholic....boy did I learn to really feel anger then. But not how to handle it.

I don't want to leave an "angry book". I was doing that. And then, I would not want my survivors to ever see it or read it. That would hurt them badly. So I do it here.