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ah violating restraining order

Old 07-23-2007, 05:32 PM
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Let Go Let God
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ah violating restraining order

The restraining order was made perm last Thurs and before the copies were cool , ah was violating it .

I told the police on Friday and felt much better about having told them . Since Friday night ah has sent many many text msgs , and left quite a few vmails .
Funny thing is , he clmd to have a new cell ph# and when he calls it comes up as restricted . But when he text msgs, it comes up with his name . He didnt change his number at all , he had just been blocking it . He also called from the house he is staying in so I have that phone # and the persons name that its registered to .

Im at work now so he also called many work extensions to try and find me . My co-workers kept yelling to me .. 'M we have T on the phone for you , what ext u at?'
I was practically having a panic attack . I went and told my supervisor what was going on and now they want a picture of ah to keep at the front desk so that they dont let him in , they want me to have a reserved parking spot in the front by the door , and they are considering having the key entry pad to our office activated .

I called the police again today and they tracked him down . The msgs he left were all threatening suicide so he is back in the hospital now .

I cannot believe this is my life .. what happened to happily ever after ?? Im afraid more now than I was before . I know the hospital will detox him and set him free (cops said he was drunk as can be) and then what ?? If he wants to die anyway will he find me and kill me first ?? I feel like I shld run but to where ??? I dont even feel
safe in my own home and my kids are now at a friends house and Im an hour away . I hate being so far from them ! aauugghhh ..

Sorry for venting . I just dont know what to do !
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Old 07-23-2007, 05:40 PM
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((((LGL)))) I'm sorry you're going through this, all I can assure you of is that it doesn't last forever.

I do have a little advice considering my ex had a restraining order against me. Keep reporting any violations to the police, don't think that anything is too small. They take those orders of protection very seriously. I was watching my kids at a swim meet last year, when I left there were two cruisers waiting for me. My ex and her boyfriend thought I was a little too close for their comfort. They called, the police responded immediately.
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Old 07-23-2007, 06:00 PM
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Let Go Let God
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Thanks Astro ... I do love to hear from those in recovery , your insight is priceless to me .

Its just so surreal that this is my husband . It seems like the road to where I am right now was abt a yard long .. yet when I look back it seems like it wraps around the world .. twice .

He just called me again .. from the hospital . he told me they were going to be calling me and I am to tell them that it was a mistake , he didnt threaten suicide . he said he has to get out of there because he has a job interview tomorrow and I want him to get a job , dont I ???

I just cant get over the size of his %@!!$
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Old 07-23-2007, 06:21 PM
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Let him stay there.
Have you not had enough?
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Old 07-23-2007, 06:29 PM
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Let Go Let God
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I have absolutely had enough . I know I need to let him stay there .
The only reason I answered the call is because I thought it was someone from the hospital .. not him !
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Old 07-23-2007, 07:19 PM
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(((lg))))

So sorry that you are going through this! My heart goes out to you!

Whatever you do Astro could not have said it better (One of SR's great A's!) REPORT ALL VIOLATIONS!

Mine did the same thing the papers were not even cool and BAM he violated! Kept on going-with the text messages (Which Verizon is unreal how they can block someone from your home phone but not your cell phone yet "They are working on it") the voice mails, the drive bys etc...

Mine violated 4 times-one time was put in jail was not out 45 minutes then spent 7 days in there after that.

They take this serious-but you need to follow through with it 100%

I personally would leave him there-and take care of yourself. If you are feeling unsafe then find somewhere else to go and stay for a few days (maybe where the kids are) It is about you not him-I stayed at 4 different places in one week-and regrouped with myself!

Take care of you and those kids-and stick to your guns!

((((LG))))
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Old 07-23-2007, 08:21 PM
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lg, i have nothing new to add except that i'm so sorry this has happened to you and your family. i would leave him in the hospital and be done with him.

also, i don't know who your cell provider is, but cingular/at&t essentially have a stalker plan that will block a specific number from your phone for something like a dollar a month. his calls to you would give him the message that your number is no longer in service.
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Old 07-23-2007, 10:08 PM
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As has been said, report each and every violation. However, you cannot expect him to respect the order as he obviously does not and some consider it a challenge.

I have been stalked and terrorized despite orders and statistics are that you are in the most danger from him at this time. I cannot emphasize enough that you cannot do too much to keep you and your children safe, even if it feels crazy or paranoid.

I, too, had security escorts at work looking out for me and escorting me to my car each evening. I still would find that he had broken into my car and left untraceable but recognizable to me messages that he could get to me at any time. Everywhere. I was simply not safe from him.

You may be able to arrange for police to cruise your home more...but even that can be gotten around. If you can find somewhere safe to stay where no one but a couple of emergency and savvy friends or relatives know....go there.

Report every little thing.

I think there is a list of ways to leave at the top of the women in recovery forum that would help you prepare for an emergency. And help keep you safe.

Above all, stay safe.

If you feel frightened then I believe you are in danger.

The hard and sad truth is that 50% of female homicides are by husbands, boyfriends, or ex's.
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