What I Accept
Acting not reacting
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
What I Accept
For a long time I accepted unacceptable behavior.
I would say it was unacceptable, but I would tolerate it by sticking around or by replacing one toxic relationship with another.
It had been many years since I was exposed to proper behavior by a healthy man who was genuinely interested in me. Until a couple weeks ago.
Ive met someone who is all of the things the healthy me wants and none of the things the sick me used to 'need'. I am sure the sick me would not have attracted this person. I was getting a little anti-recovery up until it clicked in my head. My life is vastly improved by my getting well. It wasnt about my ex and his sickness, it was about mine and my getting well enough to want healthy things.
I don't know where this is going and where it will end up, but I am sure that I will never go back to the person I was. Not to mention the person I once could never imagine being without. A man with no red flags. I am not scared, or afraid, or sad, or even nervous. This must be what healthy relationships look like...and I like it!
Im so thankful that I didnt stay stuck in a bad relationship, there are too many healthy people out there for that
I would say it was unacceptable, but I would tolerate it by sticking around or by replacing one toxic relationship with another.
It had been many years since I was exposed to proper behavior by a healthy man who was genuinely interested in me. Until a couple weeks ago.
Ive met someone who is all of the things the healthy me wants and none of the things the sick me used to 'need'. I am sure the sick me would not have attracted this person. I was getting a little anti-recovery up until it clicked in my head. My life is vastly improved by my getting well. It wasnt about my ex and his sickness, it was about mine and my getting well enough to want healthy things.
I don't know where this is going and where it will end up, but I am sure that I will never go back to the person I was. Not to mention the person I once could never imagine being without. A man with no red flags. I am not scared, or afraid, or sad, or even nervous. This must be what healthy relationships look like...and I like it!
Im so thankful that I didnt stay stuck in a bad relationship, there are too many healthy people out there for that
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Funny Elizabeth, this was my theme on my run this morning,,,
Getting to the point where the unacceptable would TRULY be unacceptble.
I often would say that, "this is unaceptable" to me and as you said, continue to accept it. No wonder I didn't get the respect I thought I deserved. I wasn't INSISITING on it.
I've been practicing doing that. Now perfect at it yet, but every day getting closer to what it means to say what I mean, AND mean what I say,,,
But, damn, girl, I'd probably BOLT from a "healthy" relationship right now,,,,
Your an inspriation. And what I aspire to be,,,
Good luck with the cute boy,,
Peace
Getting to the point where the unacceptable would TRULY be unacceptble.
I often would say that, "this is unaceptable" to me and as you said, continue to accept it. No wonder I didn't get the respect I thought I deserved. I wasn't INSISITING on it.
I've been practicing doing that. Now perfect at it yet, but every day getting closer to what it means to say what I mean, AND mean what I say,,,
But, damn, girl, I'd probably BOLT from a "healthy" relationship right now,,,,
Your an inspriation. And what I aspire to be,,,
Good luck with the cute boy,,
Peace
Acting not reacting
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
often would say that, "this is unaceptable" to me and as you said, continue to accept it
Actions talk and words whisper. I was saying I wouldnt tolerate it, but my actions were saying (much louder) that I would.
You got it CE..mean what you say and say what you mean is a them I try to have daily!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Thanks girls for this reminder as I too claim something is unacceptable while still in some facets allowing it and doing nothing, besides whining about it. Ill get there one day, still taking baby steps,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
To me, the biggest red flag is when the relationship gets put on RUSH....I believe with all my heart it takes two years to get to know someone, so I wouldn't considered moving in with someone I hadn't known/dated for 2 years.
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