veryregretful

I also feel I am losing my support system. In a way I don't want to anyone to know what's going on or how bad it really is. There is only one person that I confide in now because she is in sort of a similar position. Her husband has bipolar and heavily medicated and he acts just like my AH. We are able to talk and vent because basically we are going throught the same thing. There is one difference. My husband can with help stop drinking and turn our relationship around but hers can't. He always had bipolar and then had a head injury which made him worse. So she feels guilt if she were to throw him out. Everybody else I used to talk to really don't talk to me too much now and it's sad because I think on a level I pushed them away for I really didn't want them to know how bad things really were. I'm just starting again letting them into my hard circle I built around myself. Now that you have taken steps to fix your life and self esteem your friends will come back around and love the real you. Not the codependent one.

Sav

God, I'm really sorry to hear that. There's nothing worse than having a loved one taken from you because of a head related trauma. At least with an accident that kills you can grieve and mourn healthily, the person is gone. But with a head injury, it's like the person has been replaced by a doppleganger who looks the same but is now someone else (usually a worse someone else).

I've got a neighbor like that. He has an inoperable tumor, and it made him...twisted. His wife had to make a choice as to whether to leave him or not, and she couldn't do it (afraid of being alone). So she lives a really unhappy life, locked in their room, afraid he's going to get in trouble or arrested everytime he walks out the door. They have no friends, her family has cut her off, and it's like their life stopped 15 years ago when this started.
They only go out to pick up their meds (which they're BOTH addicted to now), go to the store, and that's it! All he does is sit at home, rail at the world, get high on pills (they both do that) and go out and get in trouble when he wants to "prove" he's still important and "likable". He inevitably ends up in court being charged with stalking other woman or "menacing and harassment". She lies for him and denies it's happening, and actually helps him with his "stalking" to some degree!!! (I think it's to try to keep him from going to far...)

There's a story to convince you sometimes it's better to just walk away!!!

FormerDoormat

You are the rowboat, the motor boat, and the helicopter. You can save yourself. If you want to.