Another take on why some of us seek chaos
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
Another take on why some of us seek chaos
As I have mentioned before, I'm always looking for the shoe that fits in regard to how I ended up where I did. Nothing has ever felt quite right, but I stumbled across another idea today. I think it could definitely be a fit for me, and I wanted to share it in case it could help some of you too!
This was instantly a fit for my life. I love the rush I get after I am able to just narrowly escape a mishap. Whew, I managed to cover that check with some random money that came in. Wow, I was racing around to get the party for work done before the guests arrive, and I'm carrying off the boxes on the side while the guests are showing up. Close call, I raced around my apartment in record speed, cleaning everything in minutes before company arrives. It makes me wonder if somehow that ties into chaos in my personal life too, specifically life with XAH. I haven't quite gotten that part yet, but I'm thinking on it. Anyway, I thought maybe it could give some of you lightbulbs too! 
Some people keep their lives or spaces disorganized because they love the thrill of coming to their own rescue and seeing their way through almost impossible situations. Often, people like this grew up under challenging circumstances and more so than anyone know how to handle a crisis.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Heh!!!
I am soooo a put-off-things-to-the-deadline girl!
In truth, I hate it. But part of me wants it too. Personally, I think I am still a teenager and rebelling against my oh so organised mum. I know I also to do it so that I have a ready excuse to not be perfect. After all, who could do a perfect job at the last minute? I am only realy galvanised into action when the deadline is really close. The "the task expands to fill the time allowed" thing certainly applies to me.
I am soooo a put-off-things-to-the-deadline girl!
In truth, I hate it. But part of me wants it too. Personally, I think I am still a teenager and rebelling against my oh so organised mum. I know I also to do it so that I have a ready excuse to not be perfect. After all, who could do a perfect job at the last minute? I am only realy galvanised into action when the deadline is really close. The "the task expands to fill the time allowed" thing certainly applies to me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
I loved your post title "why some of us seek chaos".
I've been obsessed with that question for about 6 months now.
I know that question you posted led me to very long,
complicated thoughts and discussions on people's behavior, people's reasons
for their behavior. And then people's regrets over their behavior that they believed
was the right thing to do at the time they did it.
And about a couple months ago, i decided on the idea of stopping a lot of my busyness activity. Sort of like meditating, just without the sitting.
When i look back, so many of my actions just end up looking like i'm one of the 12 key stone cops, seriously intent on my mission at the time, but in the end i look like a buffoon running around in circles, running into other buffoons, and randomly hitting people over the head. But i hit people over the head with my words instead of a stick.
So i've been really trying to schedule and do less and less.
Cuz i'm tired of the endless cycle of behavior that leads to regret.
But i must say, at this point, it's sort of a scary place to be.
Cuz i'm not relating to people around me very well, not bonding very well.
I'm being too analytical.
But dam, i don't know what else to do.
i'm tired of screwing stuff up, or at least acting in ways i don't like in later years.
but i do enjoy the friendship and collaboration when i shut my judgments off.
but i don't always enjoy the feeling that i was creating chaos when i shut my judgements off.
this was sort of a ramble. hope it made a little sense. :-)
I've been obsessed with that question for about 6 months now.
I know that question you posted led me to very long,
complicated thoughts and discussions on people's behavior, people's reasons
for their behavior. And then people's regrets over their behavior that they believed
was the right thing to do at the time they did it.
And about a couple months ago, i decided on the idea of stopping a lot of my busyness activity. Sort of like meditating, just without the sitting.
When i look back, so many of my actions just end up looking like i'm one of the 12 key stone cops, seriously intent on my mission at the time, but in the end i look like a buffoon running around in circles, running into other buffoons, and randomly hitting people over the head. But i hit people over the head with my words instead of a stick.
So i've been really trying to schedule and do less and less.
Cuz i'm tired of the endless cycle of behavior that leads to regret.
But i must say, at this point, it's sort of a scary place to be.
Cuz i'm not relating to people around me very well, not bonding very well.
I'm being too analytical.
But dam, i don't know what else to do.
i'm tired of screwing stuff up, or at least acting in ways i don't like in later years.
but i do enjoy the friendship and collaboration when i shut my judgments off.
but i don't always enjoy the feeling that i was creating chaos when i shut my judgements off.
this was sort of a ramble. hope it made a little sense. :-)
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