You reap what you sow/Act as if?!

Old 07-12-2007, 01:16 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 518
You reap what you sow/Act as if?!

Does anyone believe that if they begin to THINK they are wonderful, deserving- all that good stuff- that they will eventually develop these qualities?? I don't even mean BELIEVE, I guess I mean to ask if anyone has had experience with this ??

I realize the idea that we are all inherently worthy etc. but am wondering that if we really ACT and BEHAVE as though we respect and love ourselves and we are priceless goods and we value ourselves- will we eventually begin to feel it/develop it?
HKAngel24 is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 01:18 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
cookconfay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: on to bigger & better things
Posts: 4,122
I've been told these kinds of things by my sponsor for years. It also can be said like this "Where the body goes, the mind soon follows". Does that make any sense? I have done the "acting as if" stuff and I've gotten through some pretty tough times that way. Even acting as if I had faith for God to get me through, whether I believed it or not. In the Language of Letting Go book it has some stuff on it. . .
cookconfay is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 01:28 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
let it grow!
 
parentrecovers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
fake it 'til you make it!
parentrecovers is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 01:33 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Guess what, I'm not crazy.
 
lostnfound1961's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 286
Well one thing I can tell you is when you act/feel like you are not worthy and a failure,then that is what you become. (A marter.) YUCK! So it makes some sence that it would work the other way.
D
lostnfound1961 is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 01:53 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
denny57's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Worked for me. ((()))
denny57 is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 02:01 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Moderator
 
Peter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Yes. I believe it. We are what we think.

However we also need to have "realistic expectations" of ourselves.

I know I am a beautiful wonderful person but that does not guarantee that I will find someone to always love and cherish me , never hurt me and never leave me.
Peter is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 03:11 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Thanks Peter!

Yes, I do believe it. Very much.

As we act differently, our self image changes.
Live is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 04:09 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Don't get undies in a bunch
 
best's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Some call it an upward spiral.
When we start acting with respect towards self, we start pulling in others towards ourself. They see our smile and smile back. Their smile helps us realize...we are worth it.
With my spirit lifted and then seeing the impact I can have on others by sharing my smile...others start in an upward spiral.
The more I gave away, the more I grow. Service work is an important part of finding that upward spiral. Self worth grows by doing. Sitting at home on the pity pot only gains me a red ring *LOL*
best is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 04:10 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
ROFLMAO

anyway right on!
Live is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 04:21 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: here and now
Posts: 1,291
Smile

Originally Posted by HKAngel24 View Post
Does anyone believe that if they begin to THINK they are wonderful, deserving- all that good stuff- that they will eventually develop these qualities?? I don't even mean BELIEVE, I guess I mean to ask if anyone has had experience with this ??

I realize the idea that we are all inherently worthy etc. but am wondering that if we really ACT and BEHAVE as though we respect and love ourselves and we are priceless goods and we value ourselves- will we eventually begin to feel it/develop it?
There is a book, "I Could Be Anything If I Only Knew What It Was" by Barbara Sher.

In a part of the book she talks about "acting as if". She says that if you 'act as if' you are __________(fill in the blank) . Then you will start to be that person. She said that actions can come before affirmations.

She tried this out with ex-heroin addicts she was working with who were trying to find employment and she said it was a very successful approach.

Last edited by raerae6; 07-12-2007 at 04:46 PM.
raerae6 is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 04:25 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Forum Leader
 
Astro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 22,950
Originally Posted by best View Post
Some call it an upward spiral.
When we start acting with respect towards self, we start pulling in others towards ourself. They see our smile and smile back. Their smile helps us realize...we are worth it.
With my spirit lifted and then seeing the impact I can have on others by sharing my smile...others start in an upward spiral.
The more I gave away, the more I grow. Service work is an important part of finding that upward spiral. Self worth grows by doing.
I don't think I've ever heard it stated more perfectly than that.

Yes, I believe that good self-esteem is a must, especially in recovery. I beat up on myself constantly, but service work helps me see that I'm worth something.
Astro is offline  
Old 07-12-2007, 05:00 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
I Finally Love My Life!!!
 
cagefree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 648
Originally Posted by parentrecovers View Post
fake it 'til you make it!

heh - yup.

I think that we associate behaviours and feelings. Just like pavlov's dog, I'm classically conditioning myself to first unlearn the false crap ingrained in my brain, then to learn what I've been dying to know all along...I am worthy, acceptable, capable.

"Upward spiral" - love it!
cagefree is offline  
Old 07-13-2007, 12:47 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 16
Hi,

Have you all heard of The Secret?

I also have a book called Ask and it is Given, it is very inspirational and very practical in giving advice and help in raising our innner vibration to one of self esteem
Oceania is offline  
Old 07-13-2007, 01:01 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
ABSOLUTELY!

Earthworm

Originally Posted by HKAngel24 View Post
Does anyone believe that if they begin to THINK they are wonderful, deserving- all that good stuff- that they will eventually develop these qualities?? I don't even mean BELIEVE, I guess I mean to ask if anyone has had experience with this ??

I realize the idea that we are all inherently worthy etc. but am wondering that if we really ACT and BEHAVE as though we respect and love ourselves and we are priceless goods and we value ourselves- will we eventually begin to feel it/develop it?
fluffyflea is offline  
Old 07-13-2007, 01:14 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Mauldin, SC
Posts: 35
John Kennedy Sr. is quoted as saying, "You ARE what people think you are."
LovesLife is offline  
Old 07-13-2007, 04:11 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
How we think, not only about ourselves but also about what we do and do not do, does affect how we feel. Learning to block the negative thought and replacing them with positive thoughts is part of training ourselves to get rid of the garbage that can lurk in our minds. Postivie thinking and affirmations can make a huge difference in how we progress.
Barbara52 is offline  
Old 07-13-2007, 06:20 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I used this practice today albeit in a different situation....not regarding self-esteem or not. But in the difference between what I felt like doing and what I did. It was a positive learning experience.
Live is offline  
Old 07-13-2007, 06:48 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
prodigal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
The route that led me to respecting myself was (1) The Golden Rule: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you; and, (2) learning that I COULD control my tongue. Thinking about what I said or refrained from saying, taught me self-control. With the tool of self-control I learned self-respect. Words are powerful. Speaking calmly and respectfully to others earned me respectful replies.
prodigal is offline  
Old 07-13-2007, 08:19 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
DesertEyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hi there Heather,

Originally Posted by HKAngel24 View Post
Does anyone believe that if they begin to THINK they are wonderful, deserving- all that good stuff- that they will eventually develop these qualities?? I don't even mean BELIEVE, I guess I mean to ask if anyone has had experience with this ??...
I have

Here's how I did it. I took a long hard look at my grandkids, and I realized that babies are born with perfect self-esteem. They have absolutely _nothing_ unworthy in their self-image.

Well.... I was born the same way. Naked and stupid. So all of my unworthy feelings I must have learned somewhere along the way. Anything that I learned, I can un-learn. Once I figured that out then I did the "Healing the child within" stuff that you read about in all the self-help books. I talk about it a little bit here.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ner-child.html

Mike
DesertEyes is offline  
Old 07-14-2007, 05:57 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
I find if I start into negative thinking then I start to act negatively and then those actions will develop a life of their own. If try to take a situation and think positively and take positive actions then the situation will have a totally different outcome.


Earthworm
fluffyflea is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:57 PM.