MsGolightly

i never thought of this either... good point, LTD.

guys, i didn't mean to spark a debate, i was just sharing my opinion of what i would do in the situation... i don't think anyone is right or wrong. no matter what happens or what she decides, there are positives and negatives and risks involved.

i wouldn't NOT tell her about the party, but i wouldn't ask special permission for her to leave rehab in order for her to attend... where drinking would be involved. i just didn't see the sense in that, nor would her rehab counselors... who ultimately would be making the decision for her.

embraced2000

inthis......good debates are always so welcome on my part....helps me sort through things.

and then there is always that special something said that rings that bell in my head....like, "whup upside the head", i could've have a v-8!!!!"

i found that all of my actions re: my xh sprung out of love, but those same actions were harmful to me and to him. like emptying the house of wines that i enjoyed when he was in recovery.

see, the wine really didn't mean diddly squat to me, and would have probably sat in my rack for a year or more. but i liked it, and enjoyed the look of my beautiful wine rack filled with different wines and all the accessories. i liked it.

so now, after all the good debates on this thread, i'm going to really read, study, and think about my actions on a different level. when i think of this action of ridding my house of the wine, i can see how this same action often carries through in many different aspects of my life and the choices i make, and how those thought processes of mine are like an anchor holding me from expanding my recovery efforts.

Grasshopper

Hi,different strokes for the many different folks,of course.
My hub drank for many,many years,and went to rehab and AA.So of course during his early recovery,we thought that he shouldnt be around booze.Once he realized that we were purposely,doing things ,such as having no booze,at parites,,etc,,he got really offended.Go figure.lol.Told all of us,to do as if he wasnt around,for he needed to learn to live,life on lifes terms.
And yet a friend of mine who is also alcoholic,could not be anywhere near booze,or those who drank,for a longggggggggggg,,time.
My suggestion,would be,pray on this matter,and, to ask---- her----how she is feeling about this.

justjo

I have been away for the weekend and only just read everyones replies, thankyou so much! My neice misses her mum, she still wants her included in family gatherings as our family has always been pretty close. All the kids birthdays we get together, friends, the whole lot. We go to group meetings which has helped my sisters kids alot. Basically, over the years I have taken on alot with them. They may aswell be my kids. I am no hero by any means, my sister thanks me because she is uncapable of being there for them. She makes the decisions for her children, I just help out with small things. Anyway, on the other note, I have decided it is way too early for her to face this. Why, because she has been in rehab 3 weeks, rang me last night, was pissed as a fart and wasnt coping. You see, in South Australia the rehabs are pretty poor. Basically every time she goes in, she smuggles booze in. Eventually she gets caught and they kick her out. Obviously she got away with it yesterday because my nephew rang me just now and said he visited her and she was fine. He is 15. My neice is 18.
I think it will be along time coming before I have to think about this again. My sis is what I call a cronic alcoholic. Rehab 9 times now (I think) ive lost count. I have learnt to deal with alot of things with her now, but the one thing I cant accept is that I may have to plan her funeral one day and hear I am worrying about whether to invite her to my sons birthday party.
Heck, makes you stop and think.