"This number is no longer in service" Sad Mom
 

Tonight I called my son's last phone number; a recording stung my ears, "This number is no longer in service" I have a overwhelming sense of loss + sadnss because it feels like the last thread I had to him has been severed.
Even tho he rarely called, occasionly he would pick up the phone when I called. When I knew where he lived, I popped in a couple of times a yr. as the only way to see that he is alive and the state he is in. He recently moved to stay on someone's couch that is unknown. Now it feels as if the abandonment is complete. It will probably be many months before he surfaces. My only child is incognito. Yes, I've been to alanon for 4 yrs. but I grieve cuz it feels like a death. He has become more & more estranged with ea. passing yr. now he is gone. I hope he is well.

*hugs*

Keep praying hon... he is ok, I would not go as far as to say well, but I believe he is going through his struggles and will return to you again one day....lets hope its soon.

(((((((((loving hugs, ss))))))))

i pray everynight for all the lost ones. tonight i will put a name to one of my prayers, ss son.

serenity prayer always helped me, ss.

love to you
jeri

(((((SS and son)))))

You and your son will be in my thoughts and prayers,also. This grieves (and frightens) me to read about this. I have known of several situations like this that have had miraculous out-comes and I hope yours will be yet another one.

hugs and prayers to you and your son. blessings, k

(((SS))) many of those and Prayers for you and your son! I feel badly that you are going through this but just send him love and prayers and grieve as much as you need but also remember to take care of you in the process.

(((((((SS)))))))))

I am so sorry for your pain; sending prayers up for you and for him.

Often I can detach from my sad negative thinking about my son, becasue I have no choice. Otherwise I'd be depressed. But at times I let my sadness wash over me and then try to move on. Your kind thoughts of encouragement mean so much.

((((SS)))))

*prays*

Sorry for your pain SS. Prayers from another mom who understands. **{SS}}

I too am so very sorry for your pain,
sending prayers for you and your son,

(((Spiritual Seeker))) ((Son))

You do not walk through this alone. Please know our prayers are with you both.

((hugs))

I am so sorry you have this new pain. You have my prayers and support.

It is a new night and I'm feeling some peace becasue I was able to put my son out of my mind today.Many nights I just ask my HP to keep him safe so that one day we can have a different relationship.
I've always been happy-go-lucky and one who lives with a joy for life. My child's addiction + estrangement has changed me. It has put a muffler on my joy. I understand addiction and have worked on my recovery in al-anon yet I continue to feel the loss profoundly. I have gratitude for my MANY blessings . But the lack of relationship with my son may continue this way for a long long time. I've got to get my groove back regardless...but it is a stuggle.The support + stories here at SR are part of the process
The last time I was able to reach him by phone he said he had cried just the night before because of the mess he'd made of his life and that even though he wanted to call me he just couldnt't and was mad at himself for not calling (his girlfriend & him were splitting up and he was moving to couch surf).
We spoke briefly and as we hung up he said he would call later that night, but as typical, he never did. His inability to call and be connected to his own mother is baffling.
This appears to go deeper than just his addiction. But there is nothing I can do to bridge this distance.

(((((ss)))))

SS, I have belonged to another support forum for 9 years. It's for stepmothers. Lovely isn't it? How my need for support groups grows. Anyway, I have known of at least 3 situations in which the children have slipped away from their parent(s) and stayed gone for sometimes a few years. Each time the children have returned with love and newfound appreciation for their parent(s). This last time, even I wondered if this woman's son would return. He let her know he hated her with a venom before he cut her out of his life. After a few years, they live together and have a much better relationship.

So, while I'm brand new to Al-Anon, I hope I can offer you hope that your son will come around. I hope that you'll enjoy many years of joy with him and that he'll realize how much he values you. I know you worry now. I have no advice on that. The women I know who went through it worried too. Lots of hugs and prayers were given. These folks seems to have some good specific advice. I'd listen to them. Ultimately, I know you are hurting deeply and hope you are able to carry on in peace until he returns.

Thanks for the hugs, words that give hope and understanding. It does ease my sense of loss.