i think i'm gonna make it....really, i do
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
i think i'm gonna make it....really, i do
i just don't know where to begin. last 2 days have been alcoholic chaos. this is how it began.
call from local shop that xh was in parking lot and had hit one car two times.
he was impaired, severly impaired, but blew zero on the breathalyzer.
cops were going to let him go because he blew zero, and even tho he had crapped and voided in his pants and was obviously out of it.
i went to the shop,. he had an open container in his blazer. he also had 4 rx's with his name on them. one of the bottles had a mixture of meds.....oxycotin and hydrocodone to name a few.
i told cop.....these two things are illegal, and you are going to let him go????
i walked over to where my xh was sitting in the blazer and about died when i saw him. he was obviously in physical distress.....serious distress. i told cop he needed to go to hosp. the cop gave me the pill bottles and told me i needed to take them.
i loudly proclaimed to a group of by-standers.....no, YOU need to take this bottle of mixed meds and the open container of alcohol as evidence. he shook his head and said....well, he could have a rx for them. i said.......i don't want this man driving on our streets. it is your job to investigate why this man seems impaired, and why he hit the same car two times, and why he has open container, and why he has possession of these mixture of meds.
the cop asked me is i would take him to hosp!!!!!!!! i said hell no......call an ambulance......the man is in serious shape here.
so, xh wife called to see what was going on. she is hysterical, crying....said he tried to get his clothes from their home, and she told him to make due with what he had on his back....that he wasn't taking a thing.
he then went to his childhood homeplace, went out into the woods with a set of battery jumper cables, and tried to hang himself.....that's when he crapped his pants.
lordy, what a mess. i went to the hospital this morning to tell him goodbye, since he is sober. i told him i wanted him to take to his grave that i had loved him, and i also wanted him to know how deeply he had harmed me. i wanted to say goodbye while he was alive. he said......that is the most awful thing anyone has ever said to me.
i said....too bad.
he asked me what i thought would happen to him......i said most people on the outside looking in on your life would see prison or death if you continue to do things your own way. he asked me what i thought. i said i wish he would go to prison for a long, long time.
but he has something on his side.....the law around here just want him to go away....they don't want to deal with him anymore. so maybe they will just release him, and he will die in a few months.
sorry this is so long, folks.
i had a funny feeling at the hospital this morning. when i was looking at my ex-husband, i felt complete, and whole, and so very grateful for my life.
i had no feelings of mourning or loss. just gratefullness that i was alive, and healthy, and well. i felt grateful that i was loved by so many friends and family, and that i loved so many.
then he said......i want things to work out for us. bless his heart. laying there in soiled pants from yesterday, the stench in the room so bad you could barely stand it, and he was still trying to con, and be a mr. smoothy.
i said....well, darlin, things have already worked out for me....i will continue to pray that things will work out for you.
he says.....does that mean we have a chance?
i said....yup....bout the same chance as a snowball in hell, sweety.
he laughed, and we said goodbye.
call from local shop that xh was in parking lot and had hit one car two times.
he was impaired, severly impaired, but blew zero on the breathalyzer.
cops were going to let him go because he blew zero, and even tho he had crapped and voided in his pants and was obviously out of it.
i went to the shop,. he had an open container in his blazer. he also had 4 rx's with his name on them. one of the bottles had a mixture of meds.....oxycotin and hydrocodone to name a few.
i told cop.....these two things are illegal, and you are going to let him go????
i walked over to where my xh was sitting in the blazer and about died when i saw him. he was obviously in physical distress.....serious distress. i told cop he needed to go to hosp. the cop gave me the pill bottles and told me i needed to take them.
i loudly proclaimed to a group of by-standers.....no, YOU need to take this bottle of mixed meds and the open container of alcohol as evidence. he shook his head and said....well, he could have a rx for them. i said.......i don't want this man driving on our streets. it is your job to investigate why this man seems impaired, and why he hit the same car two times, and why he has open container, and why he has possession of these mixture of meds.
the cop asked me is i would take him to hosp!!!!!!!! i said hell no......call an ambulance......the man is in serious shape here.
so, xh wife called to see what was going on. she is hysterical, crying....said he tried to get his clothes from their home, and she told him to make due with what he had on his back....that he wasn't taking a thing.
he then went to his childhood homeplace, went out into the woods with a set of battery jumper cables, and tried to hang himself.....that's when he crapped his pants.
lordy, what a mess. i went to the hospital this morning to tell him goodbye, since he is sober. i told him i wanted him to take to his grave that i had loved him, and i also wanted him to know how deeply he had harmed me. i wanted to say goodbye while he was alive. he said......that is the most awful thing anyone has ever said to me.
i said....too bad.
he asked me what i thought would happen to him......i said most people on the outside looking in on your life would see prison or death if you continue to do things your own way. he asked me what i thought. i said i wish he would go to prison for a long, long time.
but he has something on his side.....the law around here just want him to go away....they don't want to deal with him anymore. so maybe they will just release him, and he will die in a few months.
sorry this is so long, folks.
i had a funny feeling at the hospital this morning. when i was looking at my ex-husband, i felt complete, and whole, and so very grateful for my life.
i had no feelings of mourning or loss. just gratefullness that i was alive, and healthy, and well. i felt grateful that i was loved by so many friends and family, and that i loved so many.
then he said......i want things to work out for us. bless his heart. laying there in soiled pants from yesterday, the stench in the room so bad you could barely stand it, and he was still trying to con, and be a mr. smoothy.
i said....well, darlin, things have already worked out for me....i will continue to pray that things will work out for you.
he says.....does that mean we have a chance?
i said....yup....bout the same chance as a snowball in hell, sweety.
he laughed, and we said goodbye.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
(((Embrace))))
Good for you hon!
That is a wonderful display of health and recovery! So keep moving forward-it is a wonderful feeling when that can be done and they cannot drag us into their chaos anymore!
Great job! No doubt you are going to make it! You made it through the last 2 days of chaos and your still standing tall!
Good for you hon!
That is a wonderful display of health and recovery! So keep moving forward-it is a wonderful feeling when that can be done and they cannot drag us into their chaos anymore!
Great job! No doubt you are going to make it! You made it through the last 2 days of chaos and your still standing tall!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
it's been such a rough past 3 years.....my heart was so broken i just thought i would die.
this morning in the hospital, i had a "moment of clarity"......i know now that i will not hurt forever over losing my marriage and my husband.
yes, yes, onwards and upwards. and i will certainly continue to send prayers up for him, too.
this morning in the hospital, i had a "moment of clarity"......i know now that i will not hurt forever over losing my marriage and my husband.
yes, yes, onwards and upwards. and i will certainly continue to send prayers up for him, too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Mauldin, SC
Posts: 35
I wish someone could comment on what the appeal of taking pills that put a person out of their mind could possibly be. I just truly don't understand. My AD has the same problem. The alcohol comes into play when their are no more pills available, at least this has been the pattern so far. Anybody have any insight into this? As Embraced described, the person end up a total fool. Can't they see that?????
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Originally Posted by LovesLife 
I wish someone could comment on what the appeal of taking pills that put a person out of their mind could possibly be. I just truly don't understand. My AD has the same problem. The alcohol comes into play when their are no more pills available, at least this has been the pattern so far. Anybody have any insight into this? As Embraced described, the person end up a total fool. Can't they see that?????
Wow, so sad to read this for me anyhow. I know we have to get on with our lives but hell, Im too soft. I couldnt wish someone could die for this. He needs professional help. He obviously, doesnt see it yet. Who knows what has to happen for him to see it. I think the addiction is so bad, its all he sees. How to kill whatever it is he is avoiding.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
welllllll......sad news, i think. his drug test came back clean. no alcohol or drugs other than the script he had for one of them. and within therapeutic range.
so, they have sent him to a behavioral unit in another city. they said he was in a state of psychosis.
so sad that this is a snapshot of end stage alcholism. he looks like he is 65, and walks like he is 110.
the quick progression of this is unbelievable.
so, they have sent him to a behavioral unit in another city. they said he was in a state of psychosis.
so sad that this is a snapshot of end stage alcholism. he looks like he is 65, and walks like he is 110.
the quick progression of this is unbelievable.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
(((jeri)))
what a mess this all became. but i'm so proud of how strong you're being and how well you're handling everything that comes your way. there's nothing more sad than watching someone you love turn into something you can't even recognize. i'm glad you got out when you did, and you've been able to distance yourself from him and the destruction he causes. keep us posted on what happens.
what a mess this all became. but i'm so proud of how strong you're being and how well you're handling everything that comes your way. there's nothing more sad than watching someone you love turn into something you can't even recognize. i'm glad you got out when you did, and you've been able to distance yourself from him and the destruction he causes. keep us posted on what happens.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Mauldin, SC
Posts: 35
Justjo, I don't think anyone wants anyone to die. I'm so sorry if you interrupted my post that way. We all pray for a miracle for those we love who are in trouble. But as is so often said here - We can control it.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
My exabf has all ready outlived his prognosis...heart failure due to alcoholism. I don't wish death upon him, but I am prepared for it.
A year and an half ago if he would have stopped drinking they might have been able to do something about it.
Not anymore.
I too have made my amends and goodbyes tho' I still talk on the phone with him sometimes. I will not go to his funeral. And have told him such.
A year and an half ago if he would have stopped drinking they might have been able to do something about it.
Not anymore.
I too have made my amends and goodbyes tho' I still talk on the phone with him sometimes. I will not go to his funeral. And have told him such.
Let Go Let God
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
you sound great embraced ! very happy for you that you had this moment of 'clarity'. Maybe it was one of those little 'gifts' that we dont always notice ..
onward and upward .. here here !
onward and upward .. here here !
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Wow Jeri I am _so_ happy for you. Yes, you did have a wonderful "moment of clarity" and you broke the "spell". You sould be all proud of yourself.
I am also terribly sad for your ex, but I am also hopeful that perhaps he can have his own moment of clarity. It's up to him now, just like it always was.
and hey, you handled the cop just fine, no pushover you, that's fer sure
You go!!! girl !!
Mike
I am also terribly sad for your ex, but I am also hopeful that perhaps he can have his own moment of clarity. It's up to him now, just like it always was.
and hey, you handled the cop just fine, no pushover you, that's fer sure
You go!!! girl !!
Mike
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