thinkmink

There are co-dependant forums out there already. Or you guys can start one up if you like. But I consider this site as an extension of my recovery, just like al-anon. So the focus is still on myself regardless of exactly where/how the alcoholic who inspired me to get well is in my life. My sponsor's A she divorced and he later died YEARS ago. She still goes to al-anon every week and has sponsees. Part of it she does for herself, the other part is to help others in the program. If you don't feel that you are getting everything you need from this site then I do urge you to find what you need elsewhere. Just like some people have more than one sponsor, you can have more than one forum. You can certainly talk about other things like your work relationships, etc. if you like here in this forum. It's your choice to do so or not do so. But people who are seeking recovery forums when dealing with a friend or family member who is an alcoholic need forums too. That is what I needed and the name of this forum helped me find it.

justjo

I for one love the name. I came on here some months ago seeking advice that I badly needed. I found the most wonderful people, not just here but on other named forums aswell.
I have a sister who is cronically ill with alcoholism and I will never give up faith or never give up on that fact she may one day see the light!!
I dont think it matters what the name is. Family & Friends. A great name for all to share their experience, sorrow, happiness and ideas.
Co depency, well, thats another story for me. There have been many threads on this one.
I wish you all the best.

denny57

The site is called the Sober Recovery Community. I always get confused with the co-dependent thing, since I see that term used as its own disorder. For me, co-dependency is involvement with a dependent, whether alcohol or not. Personally, I'm not sure what I would post on a "co-dependent" site that is any different from what I already post here.

I think it's true many post here to vent about the addict in their life. I think that's valuable. There are many others who try to share their ES&H about how important it is to keep the focus on oneself. Coming to the awareness, as gns seems to have done, that there is a life to be lived free of the hold of alcohol, is also something very valuable to be shared here.

lostnfound1961

For some reason I thought I saw Co-Dependent listed int he forums but it'snot. Yes I too think it would be great to add it to the site. (not change the name though) I post about my situationa but sometimes it would be nice to talk in a forum of people who are focused on the co-dependent part of their recovory. The fact is that Alcohol is a symptom of my co-dependents not the other way around.

I was led to this site by a woman named RITA and I want to thank her because this site has been a major blessing to me.

Have a great day everyone!
D

gns

Well, I hereby revise my original post.

Clearly the name is appropriate for those people that are still attached to their A.
I propose adding a co-dependency/personal growth forum to this site

I like the input and wisdom of the members on this site and would not want to leave the site entirely.

Denny, your philosphical and broad-minded approach is always a pleasure to read. I imagine you must be a professor or artist!

minnie

Why not PM Morning Glory with your suggestion?

In the meantime, looking forward to you starting some threads on here about the subjects you are interested in. Perhaps they would add more weight to your idea if you got some good discussions going about recovery rather than the qualifier.

best

A thought I just had...

An addict looking for answers will use certain words to do a search and most of them will bring them to SR or one of the other recovery sites.
A alcoholic will do the same and with what words they would use, they would find SR or one of the other recovery sites.
Yes there are more sites then SR but I happen to think SR is the best.

Now as for people who are codependent that start out looking for assistance and answers... Most will not even know what being codependent is or may remain in denial of the fact that they are codependent untill such a point that they start finding answers to the questions they ask....
Help
Help me
What can I do?

Till we start to grow and learn, many of us had no idea we are dependant on anything or that we could even be codependent.

The only people who would show up to a codependent forum would be people who have already started to find answers and a few who may be curious about seeing what such a word as codependent means. Those who are seeking answers would most likely walk right past the doorway with no clue that the answers they seek may be behind a word...codependent.

Oh a little piece of info that not many know...
The person who puts all the thought into what names get given each forum knows what Mensa is. Someone that smart ...I know puts more thought into things then I ever would if given a whole month to think on it.
Trust me on that... we are in good hands. *smile*

Spiritual Seeker

Just like a codie try to fix or change. Sometimes we have to just accept what it. Life is easier that way, especially for those who live with us and deal with us.

DesertEyes

In techie terms those are called "keywords". The search engines will give you a list of the most frequently sought keywords (for a price ) so that you can build your website to match the appropriate keywords. The keywords currently in use by this website are these:

al-anon,alanon,alcoholism,alcoholic,addiction,addicti on treatment,relapse,support groups,AA meetings, NA Meetings, sober chat, information, blog,anonymous,meetings,sober living,recovery,christian,substance abuse,rehab,ptsd, bi-polar,eating disorders, RSS feeds,crack cocaine,family,wife,spouse,husband,son,daughter,ch ild,alcoholic,drug addict

Notice that "family,wife,spouse,husband,son,daughter,child " are in the list. That's because a _lot_ of people key in searches like "help me with my husband/son/child" The search engines keep track of what sites people choose after putting in such an query. The word "help" is replaced with the various drugs, and with "alanon/al-anon/alcoholism" cuz the majority of people seeking help on the web, but not _naming_ the disease, choose alanon related sites as their answer.

Choosing a name for a website, and for the forums within, is a fairly complex marketing decision.

Mike

mallowcup

If it aint broke, don't fix it. This forum serves the needs of many.

minnie

There is plenty of scope on this forum for discussing the scenarios that led us to this place. I wonder why you haven't taken advantage of that, gns. I would understand your post more had you tried posting on codependency issues and been berated, however I'm not sure that is the case.

In fact, given that the subject line of the forum has changed to a "12 Step" orientation (without any consultation or comment, fwiw) and given that Al-anon is about focussing on ourselves, rather than the qualifier, I am still uncertain as to where your issue lies.

Still looking forward to your posts about issues pertaining to you. If you go to meetings, why not bring the topic to the boards?

DesertEyes

That happened last year. It was caused by a copyright problem and the names of several forums had to be changed to keep the lawyers poor. That cost the owners a bundle cuz the search engines archived the URL of the _old_ forum names. So people who clicked on those old links could not find the _new_ forums. That made the "rank" of SR to drop in the search engines, which made some advertisers very unhappy. Dunno how many pulled out, or how low the ad rates had to go, but I do know it was painful.

So yeah, changing the name of the forum, even though it seems simple on the surface, is really a _huge_ deal.

However, that does not mean we're not interested in hearing suggestions for improvement!!!! Any ideas of what we can do to make this a better, safer place for those in pain are always welcomed. We may not be able to implement every single idea, but we'll try

Mike

minnie

That's not entiely true, Mike, as those of us with elephant memories know. There were copyright problems when the forum was known as Al-anon but that was further back than a year and then we were just known as "Friends and Family" for quite a while. The "12 Step" addition is more recent.

Just for clarity. It doesn't seem to have made much difference, tbh.

mallowcup

The very desire to change the name of the forum is evidence of it's success. Obviously there has been recovery and growth beyond those search words that led to gns first encounter here. I find the site very well rounded with many forums to choose from. If there's nothing more to take away, maybe it's time to share wisdom that will help others just arriving.

DesertEyes

What part is not entirely true? I covered a lot of material in that post.

My bad then. I coulda sworn it was only last year.

I'm not finding the "12 step" addition that you mention. The URL is

http://soberrecovery.com/forums/frie...ly-alcoholics/

can you be more specific please?

I'm glad the previous name changes did not cause you any distress. They were huge for the owners, for the ranking in the search engines and for the advertisers that pay for this place. Unfortunately, we have a lot more people to please than just the membership.

Mike

sthrnraizd

I think the name is correct, the forum is correct, If someone needs a codie site then they are there. But most of us in here are dealing with the codie us and our envolvment with the alcoholic in our lives. This is the proper place...

123onelove456

Hi((((((((((((gns))))))))))))))

Hi! I am a newcomer to this site but I have been on 2 other sites for Al-anon!!!

I think the name of the form is good I too gns have nothing to do with my alcoholic family.. I still love them but at a distance.... My mom died from this dieases 7 years ago..... My dad, sisters, brothers, and brotherinlaw are still very active in there sickness....

I have been going to Al-anon for 3 years now... It has been a journey..... My best childhood girl friend told me about this site.... WOW what a wonderful site too!!!!

Thanks
123onelove456

Ann

If the biggest problem I have today is the name of this or any forum..."Thank You God".

We do the best we can, sometimes we are challenged legally and lose. We continue to do the best we can. It's how it works here.

Hugs

denny57

Sometimes worrying about the details kept me from looking at the big issue.

DesertEyes

Hello there 123onelove456, and welcome to this wonderful website

Three years in al-anon is awesome, congratulations I'm glad you decided to join us. If you care to, could you start a new thread of your own so all the "regulars" can give you a proper welcome? We love having new folks drop by and give us fresh perspectives.

Welcome again

Mike