Why me, God? What have I done to deserve this?
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by dollydo 
I am so sorry, due to my numerogly readings (I have been reading for 30 years or so) it appears that life goes in 7 year cycles, over the years I have begun to believe that.
Hope this is true....feels like it might be! My last six years have been pretty rough...
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
My mother died of metastatic breast to bone cancer and towards the very end was able to have a morphine pump put in. Her doctor came and refilled the resevoir for her (although I think Hospice would probably be able to do it). Fortunately, her doctors were of the mindset that she should be kept as comfortable as possible.
She also had a tumor that was pressing on her siatic nerve that was removed and sensation to that area surgically severed. She was no longer able to walk, but she already could not and we all knew it was only a matter of time...very little. That is when the pump was put in,too. That was 20yrs ago; the technology hopefully is even better to help your aunt manage the pain some. She was able to keep controlled enough so that she was able to be at home, and died there.
Sorry you and your aunt and family are going thru this.... (((FD)))
She also had a tumor that was pressing on her siatic nerve that was removed and sensation to that area surgically severed. She was no longer able to walk, but she already could not and we all knew it was only a matter of time...very little. That is when the pump was put in,too. That was 20yrs ago; the technology hopefully is even better to help your aunt manage the pain some. She was able to keep controlled enough so that she was able to be at home, and died there.
Sorry you and your aunt and family are going thru this.... (((FD)))
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Dang Jill..... Have a big hug and know that Im feeling for you.... you are in my prayers and I will also pray that your Aunts pain lessons....
I know its hard sweetie, but just know that we are here with you and keep posting and getting it out of your system.
I know its hard sweetie, but just know that we are here with you and keep posting and getting it out of your system.
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((JILL)))))))))))))) )))))))))))))
I am sooooo sorry for your pain. Sometimes it seems as tho we cant go on anymore and then just like that the good Lord up above gives us the strength we need to continue on. You are definetly in my prayers hun... stay strong.
I am sooooo sorry for your pain. Sometimes it seems as tho we cant go on anymore and then just like that the good Lord up above gives us the strength we need to continue on. You are definetly in my prayers hun... stay strong.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I'm so sorry for your pain. None of us eludes illness or death. It is most often an inconvenient event. It is rarely easy. My Uncle once stood outside the hospital looking back at the building where his wife was inside having her leg amputated from diabetes. He wouldn't allow any visitors, including me. He shook his fist saying what did she do to deserve this!!!!?
Of course she doesn't deserve this, no one in the building does. Sickness has nothing to do with what we deserve. It is a course in life.
I believe in miracles mostly I think because I choose to see them.
The time between now and her death can produce many many miracles.
As you pray for her, she is praying for her loved ones.
I work with chronically ill and terminally ill children. A nurse I am working with right now works at St. Judes doing bone marrow transplants.
The miracle can be realizing that each day can be our last and every day that is pain free is a blessing. When a person is in pain and we se it, the concept of how important a minute is takes on new meaning and importance. Live while you can. The moment she goes another will come. Take a stroll to the waiting room at eh maternity ward and take some of that good juju in. It's hard but you are good at doing hard things. Have you considered that in this time that none of us can escape,
she has her miracle, you at her bedside.
Of course she doesn't deserve this, no one in the building does. Sickness has nothing to do with what we deserve. It is a course in life.
I believe in miracles mostly I think because I choose to see them.
The time between now and her death can produce many many miracles.
As you pray for her, she is praying for her loved ones.
I work with chronically ill and terminally ill children. A nurse I am working with right now works at St. Judes doing bone marrow transplants.
The miracle can be realizing that each day can be our last and every day that is pain free is a blessing. When a person is in pain and we se it, the concept of how important a minute is takes on new meaning and importance. Live while you can. The moment she goes another will come. Take a stroll to the waiting room at eh maternity ward and take some of that good juju in. It's hard but you are good at doing hard things. Have you considered that in this time that none of us can escape,
she has her miracle, you at her bedside.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and support. You all are a kind and wise bunch and you're very dear to me. You're right. Miracles come in all forms. Perhaps the greatest miracle of all is that I found SR in the first place. And what it makes is even more special is that Richard took me by the hand and led me here. It's as if he left me in your care.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
We can watch people struggle and in pain. We get ticked at the stinking doctors and the lazy nurses. We hate hospitals and we question all the junk they do that never really seems to work. I do have a question from an epiphany that I had in my frustrations is working as a nurse.
Something occurred to me. I see alot of sickness and death among children. Dead children is particularlly tough. we have all seen someone we love out of this world and into the next. The world doesnt' even have the respect to stop spinning for one second either. Our entire world shifts forever and no one hardly notices.
Has anyone noticed that when a loved one passes and you recall them, you remember them well and not sick? We forget the suffering and remember them laughing, the jokes they told, the funny things they did, We remember them at their best.
Does anyone believe that we are not remembering them but seeing them glorified as reassurance that there is eternal life in a glorifed body and mind?
That in fact we see them forward and just call it remembering? Does that make sense to anyone?
Something occurred to me. I see alot of sickness and death among children. Dead children is particularlly tough. we have all seen someone we love out of this world and into the next. The world doesnt' even have the respect to stop spinning for one second either. Our entire world shifts forever and no one hardly notices.
Has anyone noticed that when a loved one passes and you recall them, you remember them well and not sick? We forget the suffering and remember them laughing, the jokes they told, the funny things they did, We remember them at their best.
Does anyone believe that we are not remembering them but seeing them glorified as reassurance that there is eternal life in a glorifed body and mind?
That in fact we see them forward and just call it remembering? Does that make sense to anyone?
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Posts: 191
sometimes life can just suck the snot of us. &($&@(&#^@*^*$(^#* F-life.
saying that made me feel better.
I hope reading all this love makes you feel better, I sure as heck am sorry for all your loss....no words of wisdom from me, just empathy, love and understanding. We are your soft spot to fall on...so fall away. XOOXO
saying that made me feel better.
I hope reading all this love makes you feel better, I sure as heck am sorry for all your loss....no words of wisdom from me, just empathy, love and understanding. We are your soft spot to fall on...so fall away. XOOXO
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by FormerDoormat
...It's as if he left me in your care.
Mike
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
"Does anyone believe that we are not remembering them but seeing them glorified as reassurance that there is eternal life in a glorifed body and mind?"
I hadn't realized how often people remember their loved ones in this manner until you pointed it out to me in a previous thread. I thought I was just sharing my thoughts about Richard and describing who he was as a person, what I saw through my eyes, and why he captured my heart. I never realized that I was seeing him in his glorified body or that my vision of him provided reassurance that there is eternal life. But I believe you're right.
After my 22-year-old brother was killed by a bolt of lightening through the heart, I was angry. There was no thunderstorm in the area. Just a single bolt of lightening which struck a nearby tree, traveled through the roots, and instead of dissipating into the ground (its normal path), it traveled upwards, blew a hole through the ground, and struck him in the heart, his dog tags being the conductor.
I remembered a passage from the Bible that said "God commands the lightening," and I grew angry. Angry at God for taking my brother in the prime of his life. I needed to find answers so I could find peace in my heart again. Then one day at the checkout counter at a bookstore, I picked up a book that dealt with near-death experiences in small children and began to browse through it.
The author worked as doctor and had brought many children back from the brink death during his career. A number of these children shared their near-death experiences with him. He felt what they shared was very real and not likely to be tainted with imagery or stories they'd heard about previously or seen on television, being that they were so very young.
One story that was particularly poignant to me was the story of a young boy, who upon meeting his Higher Power said "I'm surprised to find myself in heaven. I didn't think it existed." To which God replied "I give people signs that there is eternal life every day. They just have to be wise enough to recognize them."
I think you're one of the wise ones and I thank you for sharing that with me.
I hadn't realized how often people remember their loved ones in this manner until you pointed it out to me in a previous thread. I thought I was just sharing my thoughts about Richard and describing who he was as a person, what I saw through my eyes, and why he captured my heart. I never realized that I was seeing him in his glorified body or that my vision of him provided reassurance that there is eternal life. But I believe you're right.
After my 22-year-old brother was killed by a bolt of lightening through the heart, I was angry. There was no thunderstorm in the area. Just a single bolt of lightening which struck a nearby tree, traveled through the roots, and instead of dissipating into the ground (its normal path), it traveled upwards, blew a hole through the ground, and struck him in the heart, his dog tags being the conductor.
I remembered a passage from the Bible that said "God commands the lightening," and I grew angry. Angry at God for taking my brother in the prime of his life. I needed to find answers so I could find peace in my heart again. Then one day at the checkout counter at a bookstore, I picked up a book that dealt with near-death experiences in small children and began to browse through it.
The author worked as doctor and had brought many children back from the brink death during his career. A number of these children shared their near-death experiences with him. He felt what they shared was very real and not likely to be tainted with imagery or stories they'd heard about previously or seen on television, being that they were so very young.
One story that was particularly poignant to me was the story of a young boy, who upon meeting his Higher Power said "I'm surprised to find myself in heaven. I didn't think it existed." To which God replied "I give people signs that there is eternal life every day. They just have to be wise enough to recognize them."
I think you're one of the wise ones and I thank you for sharing that with me.
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 58
I will keep you and your aunt in my prayers.
I just also wanted to mention my grandmother's passing. She died of leukemia two years ago and received care from hospice (who were just wonderful!) as well as myself and my brother. Her platelets and red blood cells escaped her body so much quicker than they could be put in. She was extremely weak and eventually bed ridden.
I remember though, on the day she died, she wanted out of bed. She wanted to get into her wheelchair and seemed anxious. My brother and step-dad wheeled her into the living room and she sat there a minute or two then wanted to get into a chair in there. She sat there a minute staring up into the corner of the room, then got antsy and tried to get up again.
My mom and I helped her up this time, and after she stood, she lifted her arms out (like a child does to be picked up by their momma) and tried walking toward that corner where she had been staring. After a moment, she was ready to sit back down but wanted back in her wheelchair. Less than an hour later, sitting in her wheelchair, she passed away and I believe that our HP took her into his arms and carried her home.
As far as my thoughts of her now, I found it difficult to take myself back to the days of caring for her to remember how sick she was. The memories of good times resurface so much faster and easier than those of the bad. And believe me there was bad. Witnessing death, or the process of death, of someone you love or especially someone you are trying to keep alive is one of the hardest things to endure, at the time. But now I am sooooo thankful that I had the opportunity to be there, to love her and care for her. Believe me, I thought the memory of lifting her face, calling her name, telling her to wake up, then realizing she had died would forever stay burned in the front of my thoughts. But it hasnt and I recall now, her holding out her arms, her laughter, her smiles, her hugs, her wise cracks, her wise words, and her love.
So yes And I also believe that sometimes we are even carried over to the eternal life.
I just also wanted to mention my grandmother's passing. She died of leukemia two years ago and received care from hospice (who were just wonderful!) as well as myself and my brother. Her platelets and red blood cells escaped her body so much quicker than they could be put in. She was extremely weak and eventually bed ridden.
I remember though, on the day she died, she wanted out of bed. She wanted to get into her wheelchair and seemed anxious. My brother and step-dad wheeled her into the living room and she sat there a minute or two then wanted to get into a chair in there. She sat there a minute staring up into the corner of the room, then got antsy and tried to get up again.
My mom and I helped her up this time, and after she stood, she lifted her arms out (like a child does to be picked up by their momma) and tried walking toward that corner where she had been staring. After a moment, she was ready to sit back down but wanted back in her wheelchair. Less than an hour later, sitting in her wheelchair, she passed away and I believe that our HP took her into his arms and carried her home.
As far as my thoughts of her now, I found it difficult to take myself back to the days of caring for her to remember how sick she was. The memories of good times resurface so much faster and easier than those of the bad. And believe me there was bad. Witnessing death, or the process of death, of someone you love or especially someone you are trying to keep alive is one of the hardest things to endure, at the time. But now I am sooooo thankful that I had the opportunity to be there, to love her and care for her. Believe me, I thought the memory of lifting her face, calling her name, telling her to wake up, then realizing she had died would forever stay burned in the front of my thoughts. But it hasnt and I recall now, her holding out her arms, her laughter, her smiles, her hugs, her wise cracks, her wise words, and her love.
So yes
Does anyone believe that we are not remembering them but seeing them glorified as reassurance that there is eternal life in a glorifed body and mind?"
Last edited by 5Stars; 07-02-2007 at 10:08 PM. Reason: spelling
Always hopeful...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 429
FDM, you have had too many heartbreaks in the recent years. I know how that feels, and my heart aches for you. It was only a few months ago your Uncle passed and your Mom was traveling all over to get there in time.
I have had multiple deaths and illnesses & accidents to my loved ones in recent years. When this was happening to my daughter recently I just knew I had been cursed by someone.......
Anyway, thinking of you.....and praying for Aunt to have relief.
(That 7 year thing I have heard of also, but I think it forgot to quit at 7 years!)
I have had multiple deaths and illnesses & accidents to my loved ones in recent years. When this was happening to my daughter recently I just knew I had been cursed by someone.......
Anyway, thinking of you.....and praying for Aunt to have relief.
(That 7 year thing I have heard of also, but I think it forgot to quit at 7 years!)
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