QU31

Hi everyone,

This might be a stupid question, but something I've always wondered about. A lot of people who are not alcoholics seem to go to open AA meetings. If you don't consider yourself an alcoholic, are you allowed to share at these meetings and if so, how would you introduce yourself?

Another question: has anyone else other than me had the experience that people at AA meetings seem more approachable and /or friendly than those at Al Anon meetings? If so, why do you think this is? Thanks!

denny57

Why would I want to share at an AA meeting if I'm not alcoholic?

No, I don't think people at AA meetings seem more approachable and/or friendly than those at Al Anon, thought I could see where I might since fellow Al Anoners challenge me.

QU31

I suppose the same reason alcoholics sometimes come to Al Anon meetings and share....or drug addicts go to AA and share... because they feel compelled to share on the topic, or the step, since the steps are the same...

GlassPrisoner

Just announce yourself as "Vistor", or "Friend of" or "I'm in al-anon".

I've haven't been to an al-anon meeting (yet), so I can't compare. I do know that of all the meetings I attend, the people are really friendly and want to help.

BTW, we had TWO ladies come in in two weeks to AA. Both were distraught over their loved ones disease. I told them what I know about alcoholism, and strongly suggested they get to an al-anon meeting. I even took the liberty of quoting the 3 Cs.

denny57

The focus of Al-Anon meetings is to discuss our common experience of being affected by someone else's drinking. A's do not attend to discuss their disease, but their own Al-Anon issues. So I'm not sure what I would share at an AA meeting, as I am not an addict.

MsGolightly

i went to AA meetings with my ex and i never shared anything - i didn't feel it was my place. i just passed when it was my turn, and i think it was fairly obvious that i was there for support.

i did, however, read passages that were asked of me, but i find that to be different than sharing.

harleygirl92156

Our home groups, AA and Al anon have one meeting a month together. EVERYONE is encouraged to share at the open meeting. The A's say they like it when we share because it helps them understand what they have put their loved ones through. It is good for us in Al anon to hear the progress, struggles, pain, etc the A's have endured.

We all share as a form of education I guess, it gives all in both groups a much better understanding of the other side. I definately promotes COMPASSION.

I personally think open meetings are a good thing.

jimhere

Each group is autonomous. I am AAer myself, so I can't really tell you much about Al-Anon or NA meetings. The group itself decides who gets to participate. I myself feel that only alcoholics should participate in an open AA meeting in keeping with AA's single purpose. My home group's meeting is a closed meeting, only alcoholics or persons seeking help for their drinking problem are allowed in the meeting.

I have been to a few Al-Anon meetings. I attending one where a man, a "double winner," was going on at length about his alcoholism. After he finished his talk, an older woman who is a well respected Al-Anon longtimer in our area, quietly went to the literature rack, took a pamphlet out of it, and handed it to the man. The pamphlet is called "Al-Anon Spoken Here."
Jim

Spiritual Seeker

I have gone to a few AA mtgs. I prefer speaker meetings. Then I just listened. I did this to understand the disease and to hea examples of recovery, which gives me hope.

ScottyC514

I would imagine that you could possibly find benefits to attending both as long as you didn't get too far out of your lane. Kind of like here on these boards......IMHO, your experiences may differ.

angelonmyshould

When I go to an open AA meeting I introduce myself by saying:

"Hi. My name is Donna And I'm addicted to alcoholics which led me to be a GRATEFUL member of Alanon."

If I can relate to what the topic is I will speak if not I would pass.
For me it helps to understand the AH and others. And I hope that my story helps them.

parentrecovers

i go to open aa meetings with my daughter. the recovering alcoholics sometimes seek me out to hear my perspective on things. i find open aa meetings to be very helpful and appreciate the time with my daughter. i've always felt very welcomed at them. alanon meetings help too!

blessings, k

ritabee

I have been to many open AA meetings in our area. They are weekly meetings and are all speaker meetings. I see a lot of women there that I recognize from Alanon, and a lot of couples. Some bring their small children and "try" and keep them quiet. I have seen many people receive their chips with their whole family in attendance.

All their stories are very interesting but usually with an element of sadness. It gives me hope to hear the success stories and see how happy everyone seems to be.

socalgal

Well, I can go to AA or Al-anon or ACA, and now, another 12-step group as a partner of an addict. I feel I can speak at any of these meetings because I "qualify"for all of them.

If I were to attend an open meeting for something that I didn't qualify for, NA- for example, I wouldn't feel that it was appropriate for me to share.

-K

Astro

Perfect! I'd love to hear someone say that at my AA meetings.

We have students, nurses, gamblers, addicts, and family come to our open meetings. I'd like to think they do it for the same reason I attend Al-Anon- to help me understand as much about the disease as possible. Also, Al-Anon and CoDA are Stage 2 recovery for me. AA shows me how to stay sober, but in order to live a fulfilling life I need more forms of recovery.

As far as Al-Anon'ers being less approachable, that would be caused by my insecurity as an alcoholic. When I came to understand why they needed recovery, those "Big Bad Al-Anon'ers" were some of the friendliest and most genuine people I've ever met.