redrose51

Hello to all. I justhave one question pleae. how do you tell if the man you are married to who is an alcoholic and one mintues loves you the next he doesnt, and so on. as you know my husband is i the va for treatment program MICA for 45 days. I went up to see him, we sat for a bit, then qwe went over and sat on a swing, and tried to talk, but he just sat there with his eyes closed,and wouldnt say anything, except I cantr answer your questions and I get like this sometimes. no definite answers to anything, as to coming home on pass, how ,ong he will be gone etc. then he got up and left me there to get up off the swing by myself. just like I wasnt even there. why bother asking me to come up id we cant talk or discuss anything.I have lots of patience, weve been through this before, so its nothing new. just his behavior is so bizare if you will at times. what do you believe and what do you dont. sorry to vent so much. just terribly confused and dismayed. have a good night.
thanks
patty

Debbie

******{Patty}}}}

Vent away. I do it all the time

Your husband is the only one that knows what is going on in his own head and I would think it is all overwhelming at times especially when they are trying to get help.

I can really relate to your post though. I went to see my hubby yesterday at the hospital and we sat together and we didn't do a whole lot of talking. He didn't have answers to a lot of my questions either partly because he is highly medicated and partly because he doesn't know and possibly because he didn't want to or feel like it.

I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you but all I can say is give him some time to work thru on what ever is going on in his head. I know, not much comfort but things will work out.

Try to take care of you. Take a look at the rebellious thing, that is a fun thread. Maybe it will give you a smile and an idea for being a just a tad rebellious.

Take care.

Many hugs,
Debbie

D MOM

Patty,

A couple of weeks after my son started in-patient treatment he called. I tried to ask him some questions and he said I do not want to talk to you or dad about what goes on here. I was shocked. He had always talked to me about everything. I thought, what is going on there? But I didn't say any of that. I just said, ok, you don't have to tell us anything. Maybe two weeks later after some phone calls just talking about what we were doing he stated talking about the program and how he was doing. Now he is very open about it. From my experience you just have to be patient and when they feel comfortable they will talk.

While your Husband is away start focusing on yourself. It will drive you crazy if you just focus on him. I will keep you in my prayers.

DMOM

Summer

It's the disease talking (quacking). When my A is drunk or hungover he makes no sense at all, blames everyone and anything just so he can justify what he did. When he's sober for awhile and the fog lifts he is so much easier to be around.
Summer