steve11694

Demon Alcoholism - The Great Equalizer

Hi All!

The greatest single impression I got from my three weeks in treatment was how incredibly democratic the disease of alcoholism is. My fellow patients ran a gamut of social, economic, religious, political, age, gender, race and mental health backgrounds. One would be hard pressed to assemble a more "diverse" sampling of Americans.

Yet the evil thing that brought us together is the demon of addiction. Mostly alcohol, but mood altering substances as well. It has taken me a long time to accept this fact:

Alcoholism is a bio-chemical, bio-physical, mental and social disease of the most destructive type. Some are born with it, most are not.

It is a bad habit for many heavy, habitual drinkers who are NOT suffering from the disease. Those are the lucky few who can quit by the force of will. Not so for we true alcoholics.

I am 48-years old. I took my first drink at 16. My demon has been my best pal for 24 years - 2/3 of my life. My best pal will never be satisfied until it takes my life. It has nearly succeeded several times. Along the way, it has devoured almost everything good in my life. Some pal.

The demon took a 21-day vacation of its own while I spent the time at Fairview Riverside. I left fully understanding that it would be back as soon as the door shut behind me. And boy was it! Despite the mental therapy, my boyishly health took a dive during treatment. I developed uncontrollable shaking and muscle jerks. Bit my tongue clear thru and could barely eat or drink -- no matter how I tried to favor the left side of my mouth, the slightest irritant would find it's way into the bloody chasm on the right side. I had poor equilibrium, and took a couple of falls with lucky landings. I had zero energy and could barely stay awake thru the days. Yet I slept half-consciously, fretfully and violently.

continued
http://wogsblog.blogspot.com/2004/08...equalizer.html

LovesLife

Can you help me understand why people seek mood altering drugs. I see the combination of these with alcohol in my AD at times. And it's truly disaster.
Are these just a substitute for alcohol in some people. I am baffled - really baffled - as to why anyone goes down this part.

parentrecovers

hey HI, i haven't heard from you in awhile..

your blog is interesting. thanks for sharing.

sending support and peace, k

Rella927

Steve thank you for sharing this! I think IMHO from what you said on your blog "As I previously warned, this blog will be devoted to stories from treatment. Meant to be therapeutic for me, entertaining for you. I am going to profile some of the fascinating people I met and share some of their stories,"

I feel this could be therapeutic for myself and others! Great share and very Intriguing!

Thank you!
(((Hugs)))

Tenderheart

Dear Steve 11964: Thank you for your very candid account of your rehab stay. I am the mom of a 36 year old alcoholic. A bright, handsome, college-grad who now cannot hold a job, has had his car repossessed, and is soon to be evicted from his apartment. Saw him the first time in 5 months on Monday of this week and he looks terrible. He can hardly walk - sits in his apartment with the blinds closed on his couch with a blanket and watches TV and drinks. His speech is slurred, but he claims he doesn't drink all the time now -- needs less, but the effects seem much more pronounced. While working he drank at night, so there were actually some day-time moments of sobriety where he made sense. Now, it's only in the morning if I catch him that early. He has stabbing pains in his feet and lets and sweats profusely from a trip up or down the stairs. I am told this is due to a vitamin diffiency. He cannot make a simple decision to get out of his apartment and is now dragging it out until the bitter end - possible court action. I spite of all this, he cannot figure out what is so different about him now as opposed to a year ago. To himself, he is still the same son and actually asked me what I saw that was different. I took his laundry home and did it... nasty stuff - hasn't washed in a month - says its too hard to walk to the laundry mat with a load of wash. Bought him some sock and new shorts. Cried all the way home - so my question is what brings alcoholis to their knees. I thought it was bad already - apparently it isn't to him. His dad is trying to find some movers to get his stuff in storage -- he's getting threatening phone calls from creditors... shall I go on?? How is the world can he not see how bad things are, how bad his health is, and refuse help. Your insight, please.

Spiritual Seeker

Those of us in Family forum do like to hear from addicts to get a window into the disease. Thank you for sharing your struggle with us. Wishing you the very best as you learn to live as a "normie"

steve11694

I hope nobody is disappointed if I reveal that the posted blog was something interesting I came across on the net while soul searching for answers to the dilemma of my wife, being hammered by alcoholism.

Rehab for me has been Alanon and support groups for loved ones of addicts.

For " Tenderheart"; my answer comes from knowledge derived from 2 years of trying to detach. Bottom for each addict is thought to be different. It is not predictable. I have thought many times my wife would have reached the point of seeking recovery. Loss of job, eviction from apartment, horrendous hangovers, vomiting, losing meaningful friendships and FAMILY. Even her young daughter has not motivated her to sobriety.

I wish I could tell you as it must be/is heartbreaking to see your child in this state. I strongly suggest you attend alanon and even open AA meetings. At AA you will hear inspiring stories of recovery from the horrific. You will gain hope and better understand your son.