Engawa

Both my parents were alcoholics (mother died from it). Now, I am in my late 30s (don't drink) and my brother is in his early 40's. He is an alcoholic. He was in treatment years ago. Recently he relapsed drinking up to a gallon (yes...gallon!) on liquor per day. We brought him to the hospital where they said they rarely ever saw someone with his alcohol content.

We persuaded him to go back into rehab but at the last minute he backed out and said he could handle it just by going to meetings. Well....that didn't work when he was relapsing.

What now? Do I cut off contact until he agrees to rehab? The rest of our family is gone, so he is now cut off from everyone (doesn't have friends) and I am without my only living family member (not counting my husband/son).

I'm confused on what is best. I don't want him to die.

dollydo

Welcome,

To be honest, there is nothing you can do. It is his problem, he created it, and he must resolve it on his own.

Some people never recover, and, some never seek recovery. My Mom is the latter, she has been drinking for 60 years, every single day, day in, day out.

I no longer think of recovery for her, she is not interested. So, I have detached and accepted what I cannot change.

If you do not attend meetings, I would suggest that you do, it saved me.

Keep posting, we are here for you.

Mr. Christian

Ditto...

WantsOut

This analogy isn't perfect but today a friend was telling me his mother who lives alone will not comply with her diabetes treatments. She eats what she wants and refuses to consider a pump which would help her a great deal.

What can you do when a grown person will not take care of themselves? You could go sit with the person and make sure they do what they need to do each day, but who wants to live like that?

When your bro wants treatment, when my friend's Ma wants treatment, they will let everyone know.

redbear

Oh Honey, I am sorry you have to go through this...it is very hard... I am new at this site and at the same place...frustration...one thing that I have learned...you can't make an A stop drinking...and you can't take that burdin on...you need to recover as much as he does...please think about Alanon...you will be amazed the loving and caring people you will find there and you will learn how to take care of you. Keep strong.

justjo

Engawa, Honey I know your pain exactly. I have been here with my sis for a longtime and not much has changed for her, on the contrary she is and has gone worse over time. So much has happend in only twelve months it would take me two days to write it.
Understand you love your brother and of course you dont want him to die, you love him, I understand that really I do.
There is absolutely nothing you can do for him at this stage as he needs towant it himself so badly. If he is telling you he is ok and doesnt need help, he means it, he doesnt want help right now. All I can tell you is this.
Tell him that you will no longer help him to drink. Tell him you love him and care but you will not help him to drink. Tell him that when he needs your help you will be there but he has to call you for help. You are not to mention that he needs help or tell him what he SHould or SHouldnt do things as this makes it worse. Just be there, that means, say hi occassinaly, meet for coffee when hes sober. If he is drunk cut the conversatin short, and say you will talk when he is sober.
The day may come when he makes the call to you and says he needs help. Drive him to rehab and leave.
Very hard and tactful but slowly but surely it may switch on the lightbulb moment for them.