QU31

Hi everyone, I first posted a few days ago wondering about how to best split up household finances with my recovering ABF. I've had such a crazy weekend and just need to vent a little bit, so I thought I'd share a little more of my story. I have been together with him for about a year and a half and he has about a year of sobriety now. During this time he has been trying so hard...going to meetings several times a week, working the steps, has a great sponsor, etc. In the meantime, I've been going to Al Anon too, trying to get myself healthy. Despite the fact that he's been able to stay sober and has been working so hard at AA, something still seemed a little off. His moods would swing. He'd be is a great mood for days and then, as if in the flick of a switch, he would fly into a tantrum, the way a toddler does. At first I suspected bipolar, but after talking to people, wrote it off as simply a symptom of "the A-disease" and hoped as he made progress in his program, the tantrums would lessen. Well, last Friday he was laid off from his job and became very depressed, asked me to take him to the hospital. Since then, he has been diagnosed with bipolar and will be at the hospital until sometime this week while they watch how he reacts to a drug called Lamactil (mood stabilizer).

On the one hand, I feel soooo relieved to finally have a diagnosis and drugs that may potentially prevent the mood swings. I am also relieved because now we finally have a real excuse to sell our house and get something smaller and less expensive (due to him losing his job) which will take so much stress away. But I am also terrified of what this diagnosis truly means. Selling the house and finding an apartment is going to be stressful, especially with someone on new mood stabilizing drugs. Plus, I don't know what to expect for the future. I have a sister who is bipolar and she is quite stable now. But I have also heard horror stories. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with it? I can't find any support groups online, Al Anon helps but I feel like I need something else. Whether you have bipolar or live with someone that does, any hints, tips or advice would be GREATLY appreciated! Oh, and by the way, I really do love this man! Thanks for reading, I know this is a long post!

Live

Check out our mental health section!

reader

Come on over to the mental health group, a nice bunch of folks there!!!

QU31

Thanks guys,

I did make it over to the mental health section and got some great feedback (thanks!)

I almost kind of have to laugh because there are so many different forums I could choose on sober recovery!

I have anxiety
my mom is an adderall abuser
my dad is an active alcoholic
my boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic/has bipolar disorder
I have another sister with borderline personality disorder
Heck, even my cat is on an antidepressant!....The list seems to go on and on!

Yet for some reason, life just doesn't seem that bad...

Pencil Pusher

Hi QU. My XAAH is probably bipolar, and medicates with pot, alcohol, and pretty much any other thing he can get his hands on. His mother was severely bipolar, and I dealt with her disorder for 13 1/2 years, though we lived in different states so it was not a day to day thing. Plus I lived with her more than likely bipolar son for all those years too. I believe it has varying degrees of severity. Some people are able to control it through nutrition (believe it or not). Some medicate with alcohol and drugs, some take prescriptions. XAAH's mom took the prescriptions. They were constantly switching things up, changing dosages and types of meds etc. Every time they would switch things up, she would have a period of time where she had to adjust to her new dosage or med. Most of her hospitalizations were during one of these periods. She saw a therapist weekly for around 25 years, and made everyone around her nuts! As I said she was very severe! Now that she is gone, I am glad she has finally found peace, but like I told my XAAH, I know she would want him to find it in life, rather than having to wait till death. He does not go to therapy, take meds or treat his issue in any way, which is part of the reason why there is an X before the rest of his acronym on this board. I hope your BF has luck with his bipolar, and can do some work with nutrition or other holistic approaches, accupuncture, herbs, etc. and that he is not severe! Good luck!

mallowcup

Congradulations to him! It is going to be a blessing that this all happened. I wouldn't assume you will lose more because of this bipolar diagnosis. This man has just been freed of the mood swings and the drudgery of trying to manage mania and depression. With medication he will stabalize and perhaps get a better job. Undiagnosed bipolar usually work beneath their full potential. With alcohol removed from his life, medication in place, I can hardly wait for you to see him transform. The biggest trick to managing bipolar disorder is compliance with medications. The best is yet to come and I'd remind him and yourself of that.

QU31

Thanks MC. I too am optimistic. I don't think his case is too severe but I know the past year must have been really difficult for him--living with bipolar and without his medication (alcohol!). Now that he has real meds, prescribed by a physician and not himself, things should get better. I am not worried about his job either too much--there are a lot of openings in his field. Hope everyone has a peaceful day!