Ever Feel This Way?
 

I am really sad and lonely right now. I was just curious how many people have ever felt that if they were to just disapear (kinda like on the show gone with out a trace) that no one would really notice nor care? Because thats how I feel. In fact I wouldn't even miss myself.

I've feel that way when I'm in the throes of depression or in codie overdrive. Of course I didn't think I'd miss myself - I didn't have any "self" left to miss! I'd given it all to AH, my parents, my friends, my coworkers, my job, whatever.

I'm sitting alone in my house right now; AH is away on a business trip all week. Yeah, I feel kinda lonely, but it's not the type where I feel there's not a soul on earth who wouldn't miss me. Just kind of a case of the Sunday afternoon blah's. This, too, shall pass. But I do empathize with what you're feeling. When I get that way (and thankfully it happens a lot less than it once did!), I go to the mall and "people watch" or I put in a comedy DVD. Sometimes just getting my mind off me helps.

i've felt like that a lot, and like prodigal said, i think it's about depression. all i can do is keep myself busy or play with my dog... it all passes if you give it enough time.

i'm sorry you're feeling this way, but we all care and would miss you if you were gone. :)

Yes!! For me it is unbelievable low self-worth. Therapy has been VERY helpful (someone emotional-based, not just talk-based). Actually being and facing my inner child and inner demons.

On a positive note, I think facing that feeling will help us get rid our addiction to the A.

I've felt this way for about 3 weeks, my bf is taking a break and i have no idea whats going on with us. I'm respecting his wishes but every minute feels like 50! I did go to the beach today and actually was able to enjoy the day. That was the first time in 3 weeks. I know the feeling but try to do something fun as difficult as it may be. That sadness will get better with time.

I WOULD!!! Geez,,its taken me this long to GET to myself.

And I'd miss you tooo ((((((MTBChick)))))))) Tell ya to get some new biking friends though ;)

Play the tape through Chicky,,,

Sad and a little lonely is better than twisted and doin the codie/alki dance

MTB, it's not that people don't care. If i'm honest with myself, its cause the man I love doesn't care. I am in fact, SURROUNDED by people who not only care but LOVE me for ME. I just need to let them in

It's hard to reach out to others, when you think their not gonna be able to fulfill what our codieism would have us beleive we can have with our A's. It's the cunningness of the disease

Play the tape through though.

Would you rather be where you are now? Or with your A, watching him destroy himself. I for one, was much sadder and lonlier in that situation.

Now for some blunt native "hippiedom"

Get OFF the "pity pot"

You gonna get a ring around your arse,,,lol

It's hard to do, but recognizing your sitting there is the first step. Then give it over to your "spirits" (hp) They'll show you the way,,

Peace

I know the feeling, but living in the community where there has been a manhunt out for a missing pregnant woman (I am sure most are aware the case I am talking about; she and her unborn baby were both found dead yesterday), I am sure each of us would be missed more than we would ever expect.

Sorry you are feeling this way; hope you feel better very soon.

I know I would miss each one of you on here if you didn't "show up" on SR.

Hey, MTB! So sorry!! We all feel like this sometimes.

I think CE is right! When we "play it through" we realize things aren't as bad as we think they are. I mean they could always be worse and probably have been! ;)

Imagine what you could be doing right now. Everyone's life touches someone else's life. That's the cycle. I remember feeling that nobody would miss me if I was gone and then one day at Wal-mart a little old lady comes up to me and thanked me for always smiling at her when I was in the store. She said it made her feel better when I was in there.

I never knew. I smile at everybody. But my life touched her and I didn't even know...my point is..YOU would be missed!!

There is only one MTBChick! And if you aren't you then we miss out on you! There won't be another one! And you are the only Mt. Bike Chick I know! ;)

Reach out to your family. Can you go stay with someone, friend or family, even if just for a weekend? Sometimes a get-away is good for the soul.
Do you have a phone list from mtgs. that you can reach out to?
Don't isolate. Talk it through with a therapist. Reach out.

The middle of the night is when it is so hard for me. My adult AD does not live here, thank goodness, because I could never detach and be under the same roof. And I must say that she appears to be on the right road with her recovery, even though it's been a very long road. But still, in the middle of the night, I often just wake up wondering how she is. The daytime is easier as far as keeping busy.

Does anyone else find the nighttime to be so so hard sometimes?

Thank you everyone for your replies. I'll be meeting with my therapist on Wed :) It all boils down to me becoming comfortable in my own skin. I've been trying, and trying and I pray to my HP everyday to show me the way and I ask that this pain may be removed.

The pain will stop when you are ready.
I hope your appt. goes well!