To ask or not to ask?
 

Well, Not sure how far into the not drinking he is, but the cut off date he has set is June 3rd. He has been sober for at least 10 maybe 14 days.....I really didn't take him serious when he said he was quiting for 30 days. (remember he was quitting to see if his stomach would feel better.....not have constant diarrhea)

Things have been GREAT......much like the life I would like to have all the time without the lurking monster that sticks out its ugly head at the most unopportune times!!!

OK the question is.......Do I tell him how wonderful I have felt and how the stress level has dramatically dropped? Do I ask if he has noticed? Do I "discuss" anything or just enjoy what I have now? I know these sound like dumb questions and whether or not I ask isn't going to make him start or stop, but I would think I should express how pleasant MY life has been during this dry time. Please give me some feed back on what y'all think!!!!

Thanks....Hope that everyone is going to have a great weekend!
Constant

Hi constant
what a nice peaceful time !

the first thought in my mind is, why not? telling him how you feel
should be part of a marriage. you cant walk on eggshells wondering what might cause him to drink, if he realy has a problem it will manifest soon enough no matter what anyone does or doesnt do or say.
I questioned something similar to my sponser on day recently
and it realy came down to whether or not i would be enabling by my actions. when i knew i wasn't i could respond in my normal manner,it felt right and the outcome was good.
hope this helps
hugs
liddy

I have no idea why this idea popped into my head but sometimes Hallmark has a way of saying what we can't. I mean what you want to say is how much you love the man you have today, right? Without all the inuendo? Just a thought.

Hugs,
JT

I remember being in the same position as you and I constantly told my husband how wonderful life was when he was sober. I probably overdid it at times. I think I hoped if I told him enough then he wouldn't go back to it. I was so wrong there. I suggest, if you're happy and you want to tell him then go ahead. It can't hurt and maybe it will make him smile and feel a little better about himself. I know when my A is drinking he's really down on himself so I like to encourage if I can.
PN

WELL:redmad: I HAD typed this really nice thank you to all of you, but is dissapeared.....long story short I really appreciate everyones response and I have been so used to manipulating my hubby that I was concerned to tell him how great I have felt these past couple of weeks for fear he would think I was trying to control him again.

I have decided that Paige N was right and that sharing how good I have felt would probably make him feel good about himself which is a good thing. I am telling him just to tell him how it has made me feel not to try to convince him to change and I think that is good reason. I would do the same if it was something that made me feel bad, so why not point out the good?!?!?

Thanks again JT, Liddy and Paige N.... and enjoy the rest of your weekend!!

Constant