minnie

I would encourage you to take that little nugget to your therapist.

hbb

Hi Minnie, what i love about him is his caring, loving, giving, sensitive ways. Maybe that's not enough but i thought it was. He has respect for others, opens the door for me to this day, very very gentleman like. Always putting others first and maybe i answered my own question there....maybe he is for the first time in his life putting himself first to get better for a healthy happy future. I don't know, i can only hope and i'm not saying for me, i'm saying for you, when he left me saying he might call me in an hour i told him no, you need to do this for yourself, you need to get better......i loved that he loved me so much and always wanted to be with me. I felt he complimented me just being by my side and it's almost like he died in my heart and i'm mourning.

hbb

Minnie, i shouldn't say that completely, he did do nice things for me, cards, poems, cute calls.....he did, but as a whole it has been about his family problems and his recovery and his darts and his ways. I'm not saying he's totally selfish and maybe the problem is that i want him all for myself all the time...i am well aware i have issues myself.....SO CONFUSED.....

prodigal

If you have a questioning feeling and you want him to poo or get off the pot, then confront him face to face and ask him point blank, "Is it over?" If that gives you a sense of closure or where you are in this relationship, then give it a shot. Just don't expect him to give you the answer you want to hear - maybe he will say what you want to hear, maybe he won't.

If the "entire relationship hasn't been an ounce about me" I wonder what on earth you're doing in such a relationship. A relationship is about two people. If it hasn't been about you, then I don't understand who it's been about. One person can't be entirely alone in a vacuum in a relationship. Heck, even my AH, is in some sort of relationship, in his mind I suppose, with me. I don't even go there because I have no desire to figure out where his head is at. It's none of my business anyway.

If you feel you deserve a little respect, that's okay by me. What we feel we deserve we oftentimes don't get, particularly when it comes to an addict or an addict in the early stages of recovery. Expectations. Don't rely upon them. Please read Laurie's responses again. She has knocked a lot of good sense into my head when I was chasing my tail and making myself nuts. A lot of wisdom from that lady.

fluffyflea

"I'll take care of it." God those words bring back so many broken promises.

Good luck with your loan.

Earthworm

fraankie

"........I'm not going to lie, we were inseperable for 9 months and it's tough ....."

whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i got you
me and tony
me and nancy
me and anthony
me and rocco
me and james
etc
all best friends and girlfriends
thruout the years
at the time we were inseparable
all relationships,
that at the time,
i thought would never end
so much so
that, i remember a lol
from a friend
"where's your other half"

time to grow up
inseparable for nine months
was six months ago
and now is
separable for six months

reality
you bug this guy now
and
he slips
well, guess who he is blaming?

i don't mean to be contrite to you
or offensive
but
i'm going thru a similar challenge

now, something i do
i look back
and say
"well, i did my best,
time to move on"
and
guess what
God puts a new friendship, AA friend
in my life


best
fraankie

steve11694

Alcoholism is a bit like brain cancer. Sometimes when cancer is eating away at the brain it makes the person irrational, unreasonable, illogical= INSANE in every sense of the word. I think of alcohol as having a similar effect on the brain.

Think about it; would you make yourself crazy and hang yourself out to dry over a loved one with brain cancer and hurtful behavior due to it???? NO I think.