Getting through it day by day.....
 

It has been a while since I last posted and for good reason. I have been so busy and by the time I get the kids settled in for bed I crash out with them. I have found that focusing on each day and not trying to look ahead is helping me cope with everything. My husband is still bi-polar and an alcoholic and all the worrying in the world isn't going to change that. I have put all of my energy into me and the kids. I have been teaching my 3 year old how to write her name. I am teaching my 2 year old how to say her ABC's. I'm teaching my daughter who is 11 to draw with her eyes and not her mind. I am playing basketball with my son who is 10. Yesterday, my 3 year old asked me is we could have a picnic today because the older 2 are out of school and I just smiled because she is so innocent and I'd really love to make some sandwiches and have a "tea party" with my girls. We'll let my son be the waiter :D . I have decided to just focus on me for a while. I get too exhausted trying to fix everyone else.
I have started walking with the girls in the evening with one in the stroller and one running! WOW! She can run and she is giving me a workout that I really needed! So, as of today, I am enjoying me. Its still hard when I'm faced with problems concerning my husband but I don't let it consume me anymore. I just let it roll off my back and say "This too shall pass" and it usually does.

Learning to Dance,
2many2count

****{2many2count}}}

Just wanted to send you some hugs. I think its good that you are taking care of you and your kids. I hope you had your tea party and had a great time :)

I know its hard to not worry about what will be going on tomorrow and I, myself, am constantly repeating One Day at a Time. Keep up what you are doing and I am sure it will get easier day by day.

You and your kids will definitely be in my thoughts.

Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie

2many2count,
It sounds like you are doing great. I LOVE the feeling that I get when I am actually taking care of myself! And those kids are so lucky to have such a wonderful mom. Sending all of you a hug today.
Meg

Just wanted to send you a hug....

Hearing everyone taking care of #1 is very inspiring to me....

:puppy:



Steph

Hey 2Many,

I love this post. I like your approach of focusing your attention on you and your kids and religating his issues or the problems he causes to "this too shall pass". I could learn a lot from that approach. I tend to be dramatic at times. Thanks for the good example!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi 2many2count!

That is so wonderful that you are having alot of quality time with your kids. They are really loving it for sure! A tea party sounds fabulous!! Exercise makes us feel better and then we have the strength for whatever comes our way! Keep up the graet work!!!

Prayers and hugs,
matters

(((2many)))
hey, you sound great ! "this to shall pass" is a good reminder
that things usualy do ! it can get us out of the stuck in a rut
mentality.
one of my sons was diagnosed with BP this past year, he is 33
and at different times in his adult life it reared its head, but we didnt know what it was, he self medicated with alcohol, he is in a court ordered program right now, mths after the manic appeared, most of the winter he seemed very depressed but the last couple wks he has seemed more like his old normal self,even fishing something he always used to enjoy.
2many. there are times i worry about the manic episodes coming back, another reason i work my program very hard to live in the here and now, day by day. I know worry will not change what might happen or not so i just keep trusting my HP to handle my daughter and sons lives. I can see you are going on with your life
and "dancing" lessons...me too !
hugs
liddy

Liddy....
 

I can really understand how you feel. I too worry about the manic episodes because they can be UGLY! I just don't consume myself with the worry because its something I can't control. Its a disease that rears its ugly head whenever it feels like it and I was worrying myself to the point of sheer PANIC all of the time. I pray alot and surround myself with as much normalcy as possible. My children suffer so I try extra hard to give them some sense of security so they don't feel so alone. I stopped to learn how to "Dance" because I realized that my children are small once and I couldn't imagine the pain they were feeling with two parents in such a mental state. I was in PANIC mode and Dad is in MANIC mode. Oh WOW. That rhymes. How funny!!!! LOL I just love my kids so much that I wanted them to feel like things can be normal even if Dad isn't right now. I used to feel like I was walking on eggshells all day everyday. That STINKS! I don't like watching what I say or watching every move I make scared out of my mind that he'll have one of those ugly episodes because right now he is still unstable and that is because he has on occasion mixed alcohol with his meds and that keeps him in the Rapid Cycling mode. Until he puts it down for good he'll stay the same. It's all about what you want out of life.I do not help him at all anymore. I guess because I feel like if you really wanted to get better you go to any lengths possible. He knows not to drink that it makes it worse so he is his own worst enemy. I don't react when he is depressed and I don't react when he is Manic (I just get the heck out of the way). I don't remind him of appointments and I don't remind him to take his meds. He has to take responsibility for himself just like I have to be responsible for myself. Guess what? Its working .


Take Care and Lots of HUGS!!!

2many2count

P.S. Everyone needs to learn to dance.