Godhelpme

(((((FD))))))

You've been in my thoughts.

Grief, processing a loss, is such hard work. These early days, when the pain is so raw and intense, it seems nothing will ever feel ok again. In time, however, you'll reach a new place of 'okayness'. That doesn't help "now" though, I understand.

Don't let the phone sit idle, my friend. Break the silence and reach out to others you know just as you're doing here. Call Richards' cell and leave him a message. Something tells me Richard is with you now more than ever before. It's one of the things that gave me some small measure of comfort when I've been in the midst of grief - believing that they're with me, always, all the time.

Peace to you....

~ghm

cmc

******{FD}}}}}}
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

CE Girl

((((FD)))))

Been thinking about you. Remembering how it was when I lost my love

I just wanted time to pass quickly so I would heal.

Then there were days, I just wanted to join him

I remember thinking, when will it STOP hurting? When I can draw a breathe and my chest doesn't indent. When I can come home and not expect him to walk through the door. Or expect his call. Or see his face everytime I close my eyes. How will I go on?

Its still so all new for you,,,,,

Have you thought about grief counseling? I did it, funny story about that, for another time. What worked for me was a group called "young widowers and widows" Like SR, it helped to be with others going through the same thing.

Peace and prayers to the spirits for you and Richard

Newcomer...

Thank you for your post. I can't imagine the pain you are going through.
Yesterday, I went to court and had my live-in boyfriend committed to 30 days in a state facility for substance abuse. In the past 24 hours I have questioned myself and cried myself to sleep wondering why I did what I did.
This is why.
Because you're right - silence isn't golden. Thank you. I hope your words encourage others to get their loved ones help as well.

sthrnraizd

I pray your silence is filled with the spirit and love of your HP.

Rella927

(((Hugs FD))))

I'm taken back to when I lost my husband and I feel your pain more than I can begin to share.

Mine had a selfish father and an addict mother who thought only of themselves-I was unable to go to the hospital to see my husband for the last time-I was unable to see him in the private room at the funeral home. Among many other selfish things I cannot even begin to mention.

My healing took a bit longer as I was angry-and left with so much to deal with legally-I can say that I thought the pain would never stop....when will it be over?

Honey the pain lessens but, you will always feel that amazing love in your heart-share that with yourself now as you wait to bid your final farewell-if you allow your love to shine in your heart with thoughts of your own final good byes it will make the day of waiting for it all to be final a bit easier. Lessen your load as I have seen you shine your light and wisdom on others take that ounce of strength and do your own time with Richard-


(((((SUPER BIG HUGS))))))))))

ebv

FD
your going through something we all fear, my prayers are with you and hope you have answers soon.

FormerDoormat

Thank you, everyone, for your prayers and support. I still don't know the official cause of Richard's death. But I did learn that he was found lying on his bed with a half gallon of rum at his side, so hopefully he died peacefully in his sleep, without pain, fear, or time to contemplate any regrets.

I also learned that he paid his rent on the morning of the 27th of May. The last time he rang my phone was on the 24th (the time I was unable to answer it). I returned his call on the morning of the 28th and it went to directly to his voice mail and he never returned my calls from that point on.

So, I think it's safe to assume that he died sometime between the morning of the 27th and the 28th. That would mean that he had been gone roughly 11 days before his body was discovered. It still breaks my heart to think of him lying there unnoticed for so long.

It's not much information, but it's more than I had before, and I'm grateful for that.

cmc

****{fd}}}}

splendra

Hey ((((FD))))

Thanks for the update. All we can do is live this one day and pray that it is not too long or too short. Your grief lasting as long as it needs to.

I pray you get the closure you no doubt seek. Take good care dear one...

Janitw

((((((((((((((((((FD))))))))))))))))))))

I know exactly how you feel....I miss hearing the voice of my XAH too..sometimes I hit star 67 and then his cell # late at night just to hear his voice on this voice mail...it hurts so badly ..... we just have to give it more time...we all heal at different times and it doesnt make any difference if we are still living with them or we arent...anyone who spends the amount of years that you and I have spent with our loved ones it going to take a long long time....your feelings are justified and we hear and feel for you hunny....hang in there ok.

denny57

(((fd)))