O'Doul's Question
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 115
O'Doul's Question
My AH probably has been sober for 3 weeks after treatment. Thing is...he drinks a lot of O'Doul's and this concerns me. Now he's even bringing 6 in a cooler to work at our business. He has some before coming to work. I know he loves the taste of beer so I have been relatively silent about it, but I'm worried about a relapse. I know O'Doul's is 1/2% alcohol and when he drinks about 18 a day, it's like 3 beers. He's been attending AA regularly. Is this "crutch" of O'Doul's okay?
Actually, there may be another crutch. I think he's very occasionally using pot too. I was hoping this time (of him quitting) would be different....that he really can really recover. That's the hope I cling to. I'm working my codie issues still and take advantage of the resources out there to try to get support. I don't want to fall into a trap again or have a false sense of security. I had hoped that when he stopped drinking, our 9 year marriage could get back on track. But, I hadn't realized how deep the scars were for both of us. WE are so distant now with our guards up. (I can be a real codependent b*tch.) Maybe it's too late to reconnect? Maybe a part of me is waiting, just waiting, for everything to fall apart again. So it's just a defense mechanism? I don't know if it's the "crutches" bothering me or our deteriorating marriage.
Actually, there may be another crutch. I think he's very occasionally using pot too. I was hoping this time (of him quitting) would be different....that he really can really recover. That's the hope I cling to. I'm working my codie issues still and take advantage of the resources out there to try to get support. I don't want to fall into a trap again or have a false sense of security. I had hoped that when he stopped drinking, our 9 year marriage could get back on track. But, I hadn't realized how deep the scars were for both of us. WE are so distant now with our guards up. (I can be a real codependent b*tch.) Maybe it's too late to reconnect? Maybe a part of me is waiting, just waiting, for everything to fall apart again. So it's just a defense mechanism? I don't know if it's the "crutches" bothering me or our deteriorating marriage.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
The subject of O'Doul's (and even pot) seems to come up quite regularily over on the "Alcoholism" forum. (do a search to read those threads,if you are interested).
For your sake, concentrating on your own recovery and leaving him to this (easier siad than done, I know!) would be, IMHO, the best thing for you. Sorry you find yourself with these concerns.
Maybe if he is interested, he could discuss these issues with his sponsor,if he has one.
Hope you keep posting with us....I find it helps me alot.
For your sake, concentrating on your own recovery and leaving him to this (easier siad than done, I know!) would be, IMHO, the best thing for you. Sorry you find yourself with these concerns.
Maybe if he is interested, he could discuss these issues with his sponsor,if he has one.
Hope you keep posting with us....I find it helps me alot.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Is it the drinking or the behaviors that go along with the drinking you are not happy with? What if he was drinking water 18 bottles a day?
Boundaries are used to keep us in a state of peace when the actions of others cross into our space and set our world on edge.
I see O'Doul's drinking as a holding on to denial. What he does, he will do.
Your focus still needs to remain....
What are you doing for you today?
Boundaries are used to keep us in a state of peace when the actions of others cross into our space and set our world on edge.
I see O'Doul's drinking as a holding on to denial. What he does, he will do.
Your focus still needs to remain....
What are you doing for you today?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Poplar Grove, IL
Posts: 72
The first time my AH told me he was quitting drinking he started with the O'Douls. Probably at least a 12 pack or more a day. Three months later I found out he had been hiding his drinking at a friends house and coming home after I went to bed.
When he finally got sober his sponsor told him O'Douls is not the answer. Everyone from the program has different opinions on this one,but I know from experience that it got him drinking again because of the "beer" taste.
When he finally got sober his sponsor told him O'Douls is not the answer. Everyone from the program has different opinions on this one,but I know from experience that it got him drinking again because of the "beer" taste.
Guess what, I'm not crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 286
If he is acting the same.......
My husband stopped drinking for a few months but sucked the O'dools down as fast as he did the beer. He didn't want to stop and in the end started drinking again. It took him three days to go from not drinking to sucking down a half case in an afternoon.
I stopped drinking over a year ago and I do drink a couple O'dools now and then, mostly if we are out, but I don't want the buzz and I KNOW I can't drink the real stuff. I do like the taste of beer and that is the only reason I even have it at all.
I never sit and drink one after the other because it isn't THAT good and without the buzz....... I get to a Yuck point real fast. LOL
D
I stopped drinking over a year ago and I do drink a couple O'dools now and then, mostly if we are out, but I don't want the buzz and I KNOW I can't drink the real stuff. I do like the taste of beer and that is the only reason I even have it at all.
I never sit and drink one after the other because it isn't THAT good and without the buzz....... I get to a Yuck point real fast. LOL
D
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Drinking one while out to dinner there and again is not the same as taking a sixer to work. I personaly don't have an opinion on it, but I've not ever been around a recovering alcoholic who was able to drink near beer and not go back.
Lots of folks do have opinions about this issue, Im sure you will get alot of responses.
My ex tried this and he relapsed every time.
It seems to be a very slippery slope.
I learned I couldnt do much about what he did to self-medicate, but I could do alot about what I lived with and how I reacted.
Lots of folks do have opinions about this issue, Im sure you will get alot of responses.
My ex tried this and he relapsed every time.
It seems to be a very slippery slope.
I learned I couldnt do much about what he did to self-medicate, but I could do alot about what I lived with and how I reacted.
Guess what, I'm not crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Oregon
Posts: 286
If he is acting the same.......
My husband stopped drinking for a few months but sucked the O'dools down as fast as he did the beer. He didn't want to stop and in the end started drinking again. It took him three days to go from not drinking to sucking down a half case in an afternoon.
I stopped drinking over a year ago and I do drink a couple O'dools now and then, mostly if we are out, but I don't want the buzz and I KNOW I can't drink the real stuff. I do like the taste of beer and that is the only reason I even have it at all.
I never sit and drink one after the other because it isn't THAT good and without the buzz....... I get to a Yuck point real fast. LOL
D
I stopped drinking over a year ago and I do drink a couple O'dools now and then, mostly if we are out, but I don't want the buzz and I KNOW I can't drink the real stuff. I do like the taste of beer and that is the only reason I even have it at all.
I never sit and drink one after the other because it isn't THAT good and without the buzz....... I get to a Yuck point real fast. LOL
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 240
My AH went the O'Douls route several times with no success. Like others have said, he would drink 10, 12, 15 or more hoping that he could get some real mileage out of that 1/2% alcohol. In rehab, one of his counselors told his group that non-alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Florida
Posts: 115
Thanks for your responses. Yes, AH has relapses twice before while drinking NA beer. That's why I wonder about it and I do believe it's a slippery slope. But if he slides down it this time, I will be better able to cope with it. Maybe out of necessity, I have been living my own life now. However, it does seem with detachment comes distancing. I find myself only on rare occasional codie relapses looking for something other than O'Doul's.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Saint Francis 
I find myself only on rare occasional codie relapses looking for something other than O'Doul's.
Still though...he will do what he will do.
You need continue working on your recovery and doing what you need do for "you".
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
N/A beer is a GREAT way to cover up the smell of the real thing.
Also, I guess it would be the same as me going on Second Life and creating a WHOLE NEW WORLD that I could control for hours a day. Simply a diversionary tactic.
Who the hell drinks that stuff anyway apart from those who are white knuckling it? I am betting those who are drinking it for the taste are in the very small minority. Heck, most mass-produced beer tastes of chemicals anyway, never mind the fake stuff.
Also, I guess it would be the same as me going on Second Life and creating a WHOLE NEW WORLD that I could control for hours a day. Simply a diversionary tactic.
Who the hell drinks that stuff anyway apart from those who are white knuckling it? I am betting those who are drinking it for the taste are in the very small minority. Heck, most mass-produced beer tastes of chemicals anyway, never mind the fake stuff.
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