Is an active addict capable of being in love?
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by prodigal 
it seems that he's reverted to the sort of needy, clinging love a two-year-old would exhibit while hanging onto mommy's knees and whining for a candy bar. I don't know if that makes much sense.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 405
interesting question
I think this is a very interesting question and one that I have been struggling with, too.
I need to believe that my xab loved me (part of my codie addiction) so that complicated things, too.
I know that now when I look back at my feelings for him, that childhood need to feel loved like a parent would love a child and my need to make him fit into what I wanted certainly clouded "love" (at least love in the buddhist/krishnamurti sense - love that is not possessive and leaves people free).
I want my needs met, too - some childish, some real adult needs that he was/is not capable of meeting.
What is your definition of love anyway? Is it the Krisnamurti/buddhist definition? Is it having your adult needs met? Is having your childish needs met, love?
I am very confused, would love to hear more thoughts
I need to believe that my xab loved me (part of my codie addiction) so that complicated things, too.
I know that now when I look back at my feelings for him, that childhood need to feel loved like a parent would love a child and my need to make him fit into what I wanted certainly clouded "love" (at least love in the buddhist/krishnamurti sense - love that is not possessive and leaves people free).
I want my needs met, too - some childish, some real adult needs that he was/is not capable of meeting.
What is your definition of love anyway? Is it the Krisnamurti/buddhist definition? Is it having your adult needs met? Is having your childish needs met, love?
I am very confused, would love to hear more thoughts
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