free2be

I need to call STBXAH, I am so afraid to do this. I don't want to. He needs to give us $$$. I only get paid monthly and this started after he left so he is unaware. I will not be paid again until next week. He thinks I still get paid bi-weekly. I am afraid that I will either start yelling and screaming at him, be obnoxious/sarcasatic, or even worse... I will feel bad for him 'cause I know he will tell me he does not have any $$$. I have been up all night trying to write a script so I remain focused. I have not had any $$$ in almost 2 weeks. I have had to borrow from family and friends. So I wouldn't have to have call him. I can no longer avoid it. The hot water heater is leaking and I need to call and pay for a plumber. How can you detach when you are tied together by a family and a house etc.... I have no more savings left and I feel also like I am needy by calling him. This is his power over me. $$$$$. He knows he is court ordered to pay a certain amount everyweek and he skipped a week so know we are going on 2 weeks w/o any $$$. I feel so dependent on him. I am trying to stand on my own two feet. Pay my bills, take care of the house and the kids. I do not need him. but if I call him I do need him. I know this post is all over the place but my head is spinning with all these thoughts. Please any scripted advice would be great. I am so afraid to call him. HELP.

parentrecovers

if he's behind - do you have anyone in the support office you can call?

splendra

I have no advice for a script but, I will pray that you are able to remain calm and focused on the need right now instead of the hurt feelings...

free2be

No, I have no one to call. I fax the info to my lawyer and then they fax to his. This means that I will have to wait for about 4 days for him to even get the letter. I am sitting here running it over and over in my head. I think I might just be more afraid to hear his voice. I am so scared. Why? I used to be able to call him no problem. I am terrified. this is so ridiculous. I have paid everything that he was suppose to pay 80% of. So I would not have to contact him for that $$ either. I think I might be afraid to confront him. I have always been this way. I am afraid that I will cause him to drink by putting more pressure on him. Maybe, who knows. All I know is that I have to do this and I need to get over myself and be strong, direct and to the point. I read this and I hope no one thinks that I am being trivial. Or greedy.

parentrecovers

trust your gut - don't set yourself up for any more pain.

blessings, k

Rella927

Not being greedy or trivial honey! (((Hugs)))

He is court ordered so why not call the court and ask what they are going to do about your bills?!

My girlfriend's x is 3 months behind...she took him back to court and he was court ordered again- well...he still has not paid! He is 3000.00 behind!

I would call the courts and find out what they are going to do about it? And call the bills that you need to pay and tell them the situation and that you will get out a check to them next week-This will buy you another week-until you get paid.

If your gut tells you not to call then do not call him-

For every problem there is usaully a solution!

(((Hugs)))

aztchr

His drinking is his choice. You cannot cause another to do so. If he drinks, it's not your fault!

loveRoy

If he wants to drink, he will drink. For years I would be afraid to say this or do that for fear that it would cause him to drink. Do what you have to do for you and your children. Don't feel bad for him. Take care of yourself.

Cynay

Would you feel the same if you had to ask your boss for a paycheck because he was 2 weeks behind in paying you?

Same difference, Now its a business arrangement .... try looking at it like that.... it is easier for me to detach from a business arrangement then it is when the emotion is involved.

Cecilia

This is just my opinion. I dont have kids so this may come out a little too "logical". <smilie>.

If you werent totally supporting his kids youd have enuf money. Those are his kids too. He should be coughing up half their maintenance costs. You dont need him. His kids do. And youre calling him as a coutesy because youre a nice person. Then youll report him for nonpayment.

Also I think you can request that he pay thru the court..That way they hold him accountable not you. .

prodigal

I'm assuming he has a job. If this is the case, why don't you call your attorney and ask why the court is not garnishing his wages? If that is done, he can't withhold the money because it will automatically be taken out of his paycheck. This is not an unusual way of doing things. Having worked for attorneys, I know they can get bogged down with cases coming to trial and too many clients. Sometimes you have to get in their faces to get their attention. I'd be on the phone to my attorney ASAP and insist that the court reopen this matter and consider garnishment of wages.

I can understand your not wanting to talk to your ex, and you sound stressed just at the thought of doing so. That's why I'm suggesting going the attorney-going-to-court route.

free2be

prodigal, thats exactly what I did. I could no longer stress about it. I will let the courts handle it. I am going to ask for his wages to be garnished we go back to court on tuesday. I have enough to worry about. I can not worry whether or not he is going to give me money. This way I know I have it every weekand the less I have to deal with him the better. thanks again. You all are great.