Counseling?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Backwoods, PA
Posts: 223
Counseling?
A close friend's husband refuses marriage counseling. Long story short. He is an alcoholic and has always been abusive. She is addicted to narcotics (back injury) and is also a codie. They have been married for over 25 years and have 2 adult children. Their marriage has been void of romance for over a year. My friend got involved with another man and her A husband found out. NOW....he wants to work things out. After 25 years of too much abuse/neglect and too little love/commitment, he wants to start over. She is looking to me for advice and help. I told her that if they don't get counseling for their problems, I don't think it will work. I hesitate to give anyone else advice, considering the relationship that I just got out of. I also feel that it is very difficult to mend fences where there are active addictions. SInce he refuses to go for counseling, I don't know how this one will go.
What do you guys think?
Grace
What do you guys think?
Grace
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
The question is more .... what does your friend want to do?
What is the husbands suggestion for starting over if it does not include counceling.
I do however know that the most marriage councelors will not councel on a marriage problem if they know that the couple have addiction issues.... Both of mine would not if addiction was in the picture.... and my ex-abf therapist would not work with him till he got sober too.
What is the husbands suggestion for starting over if it does not include counceling.
I do however know that the most marriage councelors will not councel on a marriage problem if they know that the couple have addiction issues.... Both of mine would not if addiction was in the picture.... and my ex-abf therapist would not work with him till he got sober too.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Backwoods, PA
Posts: 223
Thanks!
She is not happy. She hasn't been happy for a very long time. She says that she loves him, but isn't IN love with him any longer. He is jumping through hoops right now. Giving her all the affection and attention that he hasn't shown her for years. A part of her wants to work things out, but she thinks that too much damage has been done.
Her husband says that from now on, they will start going out together, and no more going to bars separately. That sounds good, but SHE works in a bar. So, that means that he wants her to quit her job.
She is not happy. She hasn't been happy for a very long time. She says that she loves him, but isn't IN love with him any longer. He is jumping through hoops right now. Giving her all the affection and attention that he hasn't shown her for years. A part of her wants to work things out, but she thinks that too much damage has been done.
Her husband says that from now on, they will start going out together, and no more going to bars separately. That sounds good, but SHE works in a bar. So, that means that he wants her to quit her job.
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
your know.... Even though Im divorced twice... I really do believe in marriages and would always like to see them worked out.
But it takes work... not just fun things but actually getting to the heart of the issues and the soul of the problems... Its on the floor naked with the real truths... and both people need to be willing to strip all that baggage away.... I personally dont know any other way to do that other then getting help.
Just my 2 cents.
But it takes work... not just fun things but actually getting to the heart of the issues and the soul of the problems... Its on the floor naked with the real truths... and both people need to be willing to strip all that baggage away.... I personally dont know any other way to do that other then getting help.
Just my 2 cents.
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