It's Been 1 Month!
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
It's Been 1 Month!
I just realized that one month ago today I moved out-left my AH.
I can't believe it's been one month and I can't believe it's only been one month.
In 12 years I had moved out twice before--both times for one night. And now--1 month.
In retrospect, I should have done it years ago. But maybe not. I have learned that you can't do anything before you're ready.
I've made a lot of mistakes this last month but I've learned some things too.
I learned:
1) It's okay to want to take care of myself and that can come in many forms--exercise, rest, counselling, SR, friends, Alanon. It's okay to do for myself--and if that makes others see me as selfish, oh well.
2) I learned the people in my life who matter don't mind about where I've been and what I've done and how long it takes me to figure out my next step...and the people who mind, well they don't matter--I don't have time to deal with their issues.
3) I learned things don't get better just because I wish them to be so. I have to be proactive in my life. Nobody can do it for me. I have to do it or it won't get done!
4) I just figured out that my HP, God, really is on my side if I let Him be. He isn't working against me--it's just that He sees the finish and all I see is the moment, so I have to TRUST Him.
5) I'm learning that my feelings are fickle sometimes. When I get my feelings hurt or my toes stepped on, I've learned that I sometimes need to take a step back and get HONEST with myself about the real reasons I'm hurt. Honesty allows me to grow.
6) I've learned that sometimes two steps forward means four or five back--and that's okay as long as I realize it and try again. and again and again and again until I get it.
So, daily, I'm working on putting my life together. Some days good--some days bad.
And today feels like a good day---a victory of sorts for me.
Happy 1 month anniversary to me!
I can't believe it's been one month and I can't believe it's only been one month.
In 12 years I had moved out twice before--both times for one night. And now--1 month.
In retrospect, I should have done it years ago. But maybe not. I have learned that you can't do anything before you're ready.
I've made a lot of mistakes this last month but I've learned some things too.
I learned:
1) It's okay to want to take care of myself and that can come in many forms--exercise, rest, counselling, SR, friends, Alanon. It's okay to do for myself--and if that makes others see me as selfish, oh well.
2) I learned the people in my life who matter don't mind about where I've been and what I've done and how long it takes me to figure out my next step...and the people who mind, well they don't matter--I don't have time to deal with their issues.
3) I learned things don't get better just because I wish them to be so. I have to be proactive in my life. Nobody can do it for me. I have to do it or it won't get done!
4) I just figured out that my HP, God, really is on my side if I let Him be. He isn't working against me--it's just that He sees the finish and all I see is the moment, so I have to TRUST Him.
5) I'm learning that my feelings are fickle sometimes. When I get my feelings hurt or my toes stepped on, I've learned that I sometimes need to take a step back and get HONEST with myself about the real reasons I'm hurt. Honesty allows me to grow.
6) I've learned that sometimes two steps forward means four or five back--and that's okay as long as I realize it and try again. and again and again and again until I get it.
So, daily, I'm working on putting my life together. Some days good--some days bad.
And today feels like a good day---a victory of sorts for me.
Happy 1 month anniversary to me!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
I am just so glad to hear the positive nature of your post. It just made me smile. Yes, happy one month to you. I counted how long I've been gone the other day....I realized it is just over nine months. NINE! It's been so long and not long at all, even this far. I personally have learned that even after nine months, I still continue have my dips and tears along the way, but I have also learned that I am equipped to handle them and that they pass relatively quickly.
Just a fool, swimming in love
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 164
Rock on!
Thank you, Chero, Thank you for sharing. Reading about Richard and the daughter in jail-that's real but it's just one side of the story. You have jumped in with both feet and shared from the beginning. You are an inspiration to me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
chero you're doing so great and you've come so far, in even as little time as one month! i know it seems like an eternity to you, but it's going to get easier and easier as long as you give yourself the time and space that you need... i promise.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Backwoods, PA
Posts: 223
Congratulations Chero!
The positive attitude will make all the difference.
I have been out since March, and I'm still having difficulties.
Once I get my own place and ALL of my things out of his house,
I will be so much better.
You are doing great!
Stay positive my friend!
The positive attitude will make all the difference.
I have been out since March, and I'm still having difficulties.
Once I get my own place and ALL of my things out of his house,
I will be so much better.
You are doing great!
Stay positive my friend!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
chero....you just totally amaze me!!!! i have followed your posts, but have been rather quiet the last few months on the forum (been really busy with family things), but i'm just awestruck at how you have progressed.
i had to have a symbolic bloody forehead from banging it against an imaginary brick wall before i even BEGAN to "get it". slow, slow, learner i was!
congrats to you, chero! march on, darlin'!
jeri
i had to have a symbolic bloody forehead from banging it against an imaginary brick wall before i even BEGAN to "get it". slow, slow, learner i was!
congrats to you, chero! march on, darlin'!
jeri
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Congrats Chero! You go girl! You are doing wonderful! I too was and still am a slow learner! I "get it" it is a matter of keeping it that I still work on at times!
Super big ((((((((((((((CHERO)))))))))))))
Super big ((((((((((((((CHERO)))))))))))))
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Sista,,we went on this journey together, instant "connection" and held each other up, when it felt like we would fall,,,,
I am so proud of what you've done, I'm so proud of what I've done, and the world is a better place with people who think enough of THEMSELVES to make it better.
Happy 1 month anniversary girl,,,
Head down, plow forward, but I sure am glad you looked up today,,,
Peace
I am so proud of what you've done, I'm so proud of what I've done, and the world is a better place with people who think enough of THEMSELVES to make it better.
Happy 1 month anniversary girl,,,
Head down, plow forward, but I sure am glad you looked up today,,,
Peace
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