Being friends with ex alcoholic gf or bf
 

This is a question that has appeared before. How many of you have been able to remain friens with an ex? My exahgf and her parents wanted me to be friends with her after she got out of rehab and broke up with me. During the year and ex months we dated, I did everthing for her but go to the bathroom for her(mistake) and my redward was she dumped me. She is under house arrest now but still manaaged to get a male "friend" to bring her wine and relapsed". I heard she is doing good again but she is in a closed environment ie house arrest. I wonder what will happen when that's over? At any rate at this point, I can't be friends with her!

i tried to be friends with mine... but i always wanted more.

and the relapses were very frequent.

Be careful, they know they can control and manipulate you. It is time for you to start thinking about yourself. Just imagine how wonderful your life would be if you took all the energy you put into her and put it towards your own goals and life.

Try Alanon, it really works. God bless.

I am friends (such as it is) with my ex cuz we have a daughter together. Not friends in the sense that we hang out or whatnot... but he does not bother me any more...

BUT the thing for me is that there has to be time and distance. I have to be in the position of really honestly not being in love with them. If there is any chance that I still have feelings I can not be around that person.... it hurts too much.

First priority is YOU..... if it hurts dont do it.

Friends?
Now wait a tick…
Sounds like she was not your friend before, why would you want to stick around for more?


Let’s see.
Let’s say I knew you and every time we met I would take a stick in poke you in the eye.
How many eyes you got?

There you go! One of the joys of being an adult is being able to choose my own friends, not have others choose them for me. Hang in there!

When my stbX calls me, he tells me over and over, "But we're best friends! Best friends talk and are there for each other." Every time he would say it, I would feel myself cringe a bit. It didn't feel right. I could only manage to get out a, "But you have never really acted like my best friend." Looking at it a bit further down the road, I know like you that I just simply don't want to be his friend. It's not because I love him still and need the distance. It's more like apathy. Someone once told me that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. I am indifferent to him, and I don't need someone who has such great potential to cause hurt, anger, and pain in my life...no matter how much he promises otherwise. The risk of friendship with him far outweighs any benefit it might give me, and frankly, I now believe a friendship would only benefit him. It's what he wants, not what I do. I'm trying to start making my life about me.

JMO, but I don't believe ex's can be friends. People who love and respect one another ARE friends. In fact, I think married couples who are each other's best friend have pretty darn good marriages. When people break up or get divorced it's because the friendship side of the relationship went down the toilet. Nope. People who divorce and remain "friends" may have a working relationship for the sake of the kids or to keep up their image of having a "civilized" divorce, but that's as far as it goes, in my opinion.

On the other hand, I don't think one needs to bad-mouth the other or hate them. Anger is a natural process of grieving the loss, but I don't think anyone needs to get stuck in that phase. When my exAH and I broke up, we had contact a few times, then he moved some girl in with him a month after he met her and all I could think was, "poor girl!" Anyway, I cut my losses and moved on. Didn't see the need to be a friend or an enemy. I was just relieved to have him out of my life!

For me, it is too painful to have contact with my x. he also gives me the lines about being best friends....i don't have any other friends that treat me the way he did. if they did, we would no longer be friends.

They have their own motives for wanting to be "friends". "Friends" to them means someone they can use.

Like Mr C says How many eyes do you have?

Earthworm