Happy Thursday
 

Things have settled down some. I still find myself thinking about the relapse and what Im going to do if and when it would happen again. AH has been sober. of course not working a program, but sober. We went to a wedding last weekend and we sat with others that were drinking, I dont know if it bothered him or not. He did not drink and either did I. Thought to myself, its his problem if its bothereing him or not. But I do have an issue that is weighing on my mind. The last week of June I have a conference I need to attend for work. Being gone for 4 days. Im looking forward to going and seeing my collegues. The only thing that is nagging at me, is if he drinks or not will be none of my business. BUT>>> My DD who is 15 will be home.
I really dont want to put her in that position. (I should have thought of that one years ago after all the crazyness I have put her thru with this, she is well adjusted and in counsling with me) Ive talked to my Mother in Law and told my DD if he decides to drink she does not have to stay in the house with him . To call her grandmother or anyone of my friends to come pick her up. She agreed and the plan was made between us all. I still have the nagging feeling of it tho. Cant seem to shake it. In years past, she has just stayed at her Grandmothers. This year she said she would rather stay home. Im trying ot honor her wish. What do you all think?

I think she is old enough and probably experienced enough to know what she wants to do this time. Maybe himself and herself could plan activities together for when your away. It might help keep his mind from wandering towards drink and may bring them closer together. It's always going to be hard not to fret but I think you should trust her decision on this.

You've made a plan, she's agreed to it, so there's really nothing more you can do that's within your control, right?

When I have those nagging feelings I can't shake they only drive me downward. Letting go and realizing I can't change the outcome is the key if I can accept it.

15 is getting close to a time she will have to make choices without your setting them up..... this is good practice for her.

Let it go sweetie and have fun.... what your doing is called awfulizing.... My crystal ball is oviously broken because nothing today is what I saw it being so I tossed it and decided to have faith.... maybe you need to toss yours too?

Deal with the problem when it becomes a problem.... heck you never know you might even be pleasantly suprised.... but one thing I do know is you cant control what he will do, you have to either trust your daughter to do the right thing or not and take her with you... *shrugs* ... I vote for trusting.

Hey BP,,I got a question for ya?

Could part of your trepidation with all of this have to do with YOUR worrying about if he drinks? Period

I'm not minimizing your concernd for your DD. Just wondered if you've really looked inside to see if YOUR recovery is on track

Peace

What are you worried will happen to her if she stays and he drinks? As an observer, it seems like she knows she can remove herself from the situation; do you think she would if she had to?

I think your all right. Am I worring about his drinking or not. Honestly I think so.
Yep and a double Yep to that one. Your right, she is old enough to deal with this in her own way. They do need to build a better relationship together. I need to stop fretting over this. She has dealt with him all this time too. I need to remember she has the tools now too. I seem to think she is better at her recovery than I am. Baby steps is all I have now. One day at a time.

(((((((BP)))))))

Your WICKED kool :)

Now go, have a good time, get your "professional" juices going and have faith in YOU. What you have learned and handed off to your D,,,

Nice job setting the example through action!!!

Peace