un4gvn acts

I have been going to Al Anon since 11/2006. I have been working my program with great success - I am a much happoer person today because of my al anon family.

Last night at my meeting a member used this analogy:

My Recovery is like:
putting a jigsaw puzzle together with all the pieces wrong side up.
Any one can put the border together with a little work; sure it will take some time but will get done fairly easily. Less pieces
the hard part is the middle - all the left over pieces - it would take time & alot of hard work to finish the middle.

Well he talked about his AW but the puzzle analogy has got me thinking.....

I am thinking that my border is my alcoholic & also my decison to try Al Anon. It was a little difficult - realizing that I was married to an A & it was a little difficult to walk in to my 1st meeting. But I did it! I understand that this is a disease & I get my part that I played in all of this....so my border to me is complete because I am working my program. ------
My problem is all the other pieces - All of the middle pieces represents me. AND I am finding it very difficult to put me back together. I know that all the pieces go together but I have no idea HOW to get them all in the right spots.

Does this make any sense?

I may be a little rusty at this posting thing - it has been awhile - but I have been here reading all of your post. Just thought that I would sit back and take a vacation from my issues.

I was also told to get a sponsor!
I do want to get a sponsor but the one person that I am thinking of is male. He is living my life but in reverse and we understand eachother. All the woman in my group are great but they are parents not married to an AH. I was told that I could have a male sponsor but I don't know the rules! Do any of you know if me having a male sponsor is okay?

How did y'all choose your sponsor?

Thanks for all your input
SAGE

CE Girl

Makes PERFECT sense to me. In my analogy, i would say the outside border is the "foundation" and the inside peices are the "core" the foundation being easier, because no matter what, you always had YOU to build on, but the core takes longer because you have to search for the pieces that fit!!

Of course, I'm WICKED new to this,,,

Peace

Cynay

I get it.

The good news is you dont have to have the puzzle done today and you dont have to do it alone. That puzzle is your life and its a journey...... when its time, when your ready the next piece will come to you.

I do highly suggest a sponsor and my personal opinion is not a male sponsor. There are no rules only suggestions but the things you will share with a sponsor are personal, emotional and would create an intimiate setting.... which could spell real trouble for everyone involved. Now I will say I have had tempory sponsors and they have been men.... but they did not live near me, work was done over the phone, e-mail etc.... and the depth is not the same as with my first sponsor who was a women.

My first sponsor was a gift from God... yep a God thing, no doubt in my mind on that one. Today Im still seeking a sponsor but have a really good Idea who she will be.... again... she was brought to me.... Luck *shrugs* maybe.

Im told in seeking a sponsor go to meetings... not just the normal ones you attend, but AA meetings, Al-anon meetings, CoDA meetings and all different ones.... start getting numbers and meeting people... then ask them to coffe, dinner etc... get a better idea of how they work their program.... how they feel and what they believe in... I have no doubt you will find a match for you in time.

denny57

Time is what it is taking for me to work my puzzle.

I'd also suggest a female sponsor. I have several male friends in the program who I also turn to for support. I like the advice on choosing a sponsor: pick someone who has what I WANT, not what I have. I finally chose a sponsor who is very different from me in many ways (she has stayed with her husband, I have not). It's one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Congratulations on finishing the border!